StellaA Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How did everyone feel after 3 months? I'm better than I was but still think about him all the time. I'm def stronger, reading has helped! I have also started looking after myself and my appearance! why should I let one person bring me down. The only thing is, he wasn't a bad guy just couldn't handle a relationship because of other issues. I wish I could feel some dislike towards him but I can't which makes it harder. I always thought we would be in each others lives one way or the other. The love is still there for both of us but it's not always enough.
Mar1neOne Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How did everyone feel after 3 months? I'm better than I was but still think about him all the time. I'm def stronger, reading has helped! I have also started looking after myself and my appearance! why should I let one person bring me down. The only thing is, he wasn't a bad guy just couldn't handle a relationship because of other issues. I wish I could feel some dislike towards him but I can't which makes it harder. I always thought we would be in each others lives one way or the other. The love is still there for both of us but it's not always enough. I know how you feel about the lack of dislike. My ex is bi-polar and I know a lot of what she does is because of that, so it is hard for me to stay mad or not let lingering thoughts of "if she gets better" creep into my head. In the end, I know the relationship needs to be over, because I do dislike the things she does, says and the way she has made me feel. I also feel like she is my soul mate and that we would always have each other in our lives.(especially since we have 4 kids) But in reality her being my soul mate makes it that much harder for me to see her. I just can't do it. I can't see or think about her enjoying time with another man, because it kills me. I totally believe our love is still there also. It always will be, but like you said it just isn't enough. In the end.... People who break our hearts don't get to have us anymore. They don't get the friendship, the support, the love, the laughter. **** them!! If that was truly important to them then they wouldn't have left. The want their cake and to eat it too. Stay strong and remember that you aren't alone!! There are a lot of us out here.
mike588 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How did everyone feel after 3 months? I'm better than I was but still think about him all the time. I'm def stronger, reading has helped! I have also started looking after myself and my appearance! why should I let one person bring me down. The only thing is, he wasn't a bad guy just couldn't handle a relationship because of other issues. I wish I could feel some dislike towards him but I can't which makes it harder. I always thought we would be in each others lives one way or the other. The love is still there for both of us but it's not always enough. I'm just alittle over 2 months of being dumped and it is definately better. I still have feelings,( some good some bad) for her but not that strong anymore. At 1st I wanted her back but now that my emotions have settled down I don't. It could never be the same!
TheDovic Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 How did everyone feel after 3 months? I'm better than I was but still think about him all the time. I'm def stronger, reading has helped! I have also started looking after myself and my appearance! why should I let one person bring me down. The only thing is, he wasn't a bad guy just couldn't handle a relationship because of other issues. I wish I could feel some dislike towards him but I can't which makes it harder. I always thought we would be in each others lives one way or the other. The love is still there for both of us but it's not always enough. Hey Stella, What you have written could have been said by me. I'm coming up to 3 months myself and whilst I am better than I was in the beginning I still think about her all the time. And, like you I also read a lot and it really helps. Furthermore, my ex was not a bad girl either, but like yours had her own issues to deal with (massive issues). She still loves me very much, but as with you, this is no longer enough! My main point is not to show how similar our situation is, it's to tell you that what your going through appears to be normal as I am experiencing something very similar. I think we should take solace in the fact that we are doing a bit better now, and maybe in another 3 months we'll be doing even better!!!
Author StellaA Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Hi guys, thanks for all the posts, it really does help having people to talk to who feel the same. Mar1neOne....My ex is also bipolar but will not accept it. He had to go into hospital which was the start of the break up, when he came out he wanted space, I don't think he could handle everything at the time including looking after me. It was tough for me to deal with at the time but I will always love him, we just can't be together. It os hard when an illness prevents you from being with someone as you want to be there to support them but you can't make them let you. I have to start looking after myself now and I always hope is happy and well. mike588....your right, I will always have some feelings for him but it could never be the same again, I am also frightened and not sure I could risk going through it all again no matter how much I love him, it will always be in the back of my mind. TheDovic......let's hope we continue to get atronger and like you say, the next 3 months could get even better.
ken_25 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I'm about 11 weeks out, I feel much better now. I still think about her everyday through out the day. Still dreaming about her a lot, but I'm handling it pretty well. Thursday, Friday and Saturday was my first streak of feeling upbeat and genuinely feeling good about things. It felt great. Sunday though I kept thinking about her with the guy she was sneaking around with for the last week or so we were together. Today I looked at old text messages that are on my phone, it got to me a little bit, but I'm alright. I can't wait for it to be next year already! I just want to fast forward 4 more months.
Diogenes Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 It's been almost 3 months for me after 24 years together, and I am doing much better, but I got on "getting a life" the day after she said she was leaving. I think the amount of time it takes starts as soon as you do something about it, the first couple of weeks damn near killed me, but I forced my self to go to the gym, cycle, do yoga, and anything to keep me busy and too exhausted not to sleep. I'm going to try and give myself a year before making any long term commitments, unless someone comes along about the six months mark that seems to be someone I can really "fit" with.
Author StellaA Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Wow....24 years, that's a long time so if you can do it anyone can. What were the circumstances if you don't mind me asking? ken, don't wish your life away and don't look at texts! ive deleted mine now....it's tough but better in long run to stop you looking at them
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