Author imperfectangel Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Trust me, it's not over, he will lie in wait and pounce again soon. Be ready, go through the scenario in your mind over and over until you know you've got just the right thing to say when he text's or calls again, because he will, I promise. I don't believe that and to be sure I drove it home I sent him this today "I don't want you to think that you can just start txting me again in a few weeks. youve really hurt me and I don't want to see or hear from you again" I wanted to send it during the day so he couldn't say I was drunk etc at the time. He can go weeks w/o me I really just don't think he cares I used to make excuses for him; that he was too shy to show his feelings/that he didn't want to lead me on too much etc but after all this time I feel like a switch has gone in my head and I'm just so closed off to him right now When we met up he even said we can't be together blah blah but now its like hell yeah we could if that's what he WANTED at the end of the day he doesn't want me he wants his wife/family and a bit of fun on the side and I was the girl waiting around - an easy catch, for him anyway I really don't think he'll be in touch he's been so diff past few weeks if I ever thought he would treat me like this I would never have slept with him 1
noel2 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 All that he said was blah, blah, because as soon as he gets horny or his wife does something to piss him off or question his manhood, guess where he's gonna turn to validate himself?
2beme Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I wish you the best of luck. You being strong is inspiration that I can do this and end my A as well. There is nothing worse than being shot down and degraded (at least that is the way I feel) and the sooner to end it the better and the sooner you can move on to better things. I don't believe that and to be sure I drove it home I sent him this today "I don't want you to think that you can just start txting me again in a few weeks. youve really hurt me and I don't want to see or hear from you again" I wanted to send it during the day so he couldn't say I was drunk etc at the time. He can go weeks w/o me I really just don't think he cares I used to make excuses for him; that he was too shy to show his feelings/that he didn't want to lead me on too much etc but after all this time I feel like a switch has gone in my head and I'm just so closed off to him right now When we met up he even said we can't be together blah blah but now its like hell yeah we could if that's what he WANTED at the end of the day he doesn't want me he wants his wife/family and a bit of fun on the side and I was the girl waiting around - an easy catch, for him anyway I really don't think he'll be in touch he's been so diff past few weeks if I ever thought he would treat me like this I would never have slept with him
Author imperfectangel Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 I wish you the best of luck. You being strong is inspiration that I can do this and end my A as well. There is nothing worse than being shot down and degraded (at least that is the way I feel) and the sooner to end it the better and the sooner you can move on to better things. Believe me I am not strong but I am taking it day by day trying to get through this is so hard I just don't understand people like him that can just shut off their emotions I just can't be involved with someone that one minutes acts like I'm 'amazing' (his word) and the next like I don't exist
2sunny Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Believe me I am not strong but I am taking it day by day trying to get through this is so hard I just don't understand people like him that can just shut off their emotions I just can't be involved with someone that one minutes acts like I'm 'amazing' (his word) and the next like I don't exist i would like to ask you a question... why would you want to settle for so little? why do you think you don't deserve more?
Author imperfectangel Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 i would like to ask you a question... why would you want to settle for so little? why do you think you don't deserve more? Its not that I don't think I deserve more; its more like I want him and this is what I have had to go through to 'have' him Obviously since I have not heard from him he didn't ever feel the same he got what he wanted and that's that
2sunny Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 imperfectangel;3666866Its not that I don't think I deserve more; its more like I want him and this is what I have had to go through to 'have' him you DO deserve more. you should never "need to settle" - the fact that it's like this indicates that you are short changing yourself - and the possibilities by relying on him... when he's "not really present". you don't "have him". what you have is an illusion that "you think he's there - but he's not really there". love shouldn't have to be this difficult - or forced - when it is - it is your indication that it's not supposed to "be". Obviously since I have not heard from him he didn't ever feel the same he got what he wanted and that's that he isn't a man of his word. when the words and actions don't align - there is a lie in there somewhere. you can't rely on his words - his actions tell you everything you need to know. have you read the book - the four agreements - by don miguel ruiz? it may help you...
Author imperfectangel Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 I haven't read any books on this but I will certainly try to find it I understand what you're saying and that is why I have ended it now but it hurts that I've told him "you've really hurt me" and he hasn't replied I told him not to contact me so some would say fair enough but he just isn't fighting for me or trying to change my mind in anyway that hurts that he doesn't think I'm worth him even trying to save what we "had"
2sunny Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 I haven't read any books on this but I will certainly try to find it I understand what you're saying and that is why I have ended it now but it hurts that I've told him "you've really hurt me" and he hasn't replied I told him not to contact me so some would say fair enough but he just isn't fighting for me or trying to change my mind in anyway that hurts that he doesn't think I'm worth him even trying to save what we "had" he's married angel... he can't give you what you want... no need to try and force him to cheat more and feel more guilt and shame - let it go - he's taken. you are growing the negative energy bigger by focusing on this - begin to redirect your mind to being open to "new possibilities". find a worthy man that isn't taken.
Author imperfectangel Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 That's what I'm on my way to doing but when you've had it in your heart that you're "meant to be" with someone from the age of 14 its hard to shake that off I'm trying my best with nc now and trying to keep focused on other things
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Believe me I am not strong but I am taking it day by day trying to get through this is so hard I just don't understand people like him that can just shut off their emotions I just can't be involved with someone that one minutes acts like I'm 'amazing' (his word) and the next like I don't exist Because he's selfish and it's who he is. It's on HIS terms, he'll throw you crumbs when he feels like it, then turn around and take them away from you. The A means more to you than it does to him. Fact. Sorry. That's what I'm on my way to doing but when you've had it in your heart that you're "meant to be" with someone from the age of 14 its hard to shake that off I'm trying my best with nc now and trying to keep focused on other things IF this was really true, you two would have ended up together by now and not married other people. He isn't yours, he never was.
Author imperfectangel Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 I'm aware of that now thank you
JaneyAmazed Posted October 9, 2011 Posted October 9, 2011 Its not that I don't think I deserve more; its more like I want him and this is what I have had to go through to 'have' him Obviously since I have not heard from him he didn't ever feel the same he got what he wanted and that's that I know you are hurting, and this might not mean much now... but be thankful that you know now who he really is. He could have played the great guy character for a lot longer. The truth hurts, but as the saying goes, it sets you free. At least this way it makes it easier for you to see just how unavailable he is, and how he's a waste of your time. Give yourself time to heal, and enjoy your life. You will be so much better off not being emotionally dependent on this man who doesn't love you as you should be loved. He will probably contact you again to boost his ego or if he's bored with his marraige. When he does, remind yourself of the hurt. As long as he's in your life, the hurt will continue.
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