Cooee Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 So I have been lurking on this forum for the last few weeks and decided to register and share my story to see if anyone would like to take the time to give me advice. I have been with my partner for 5 nearly 6 years and we recently decided to separate. Technically it was my decision to end it but I felt backed into a corner and thought it was our only option. The story goes. We moved in together a week after we started seeing each other because we both left our partners to be together. In all honesty we rushed into the relationship due to love and lust and never took the time to get to know ourselves nor each other properly. As a result of this we had a hell of a time that first year but somehow kept it together and managed to survive purely on love for 5 years. In the last year or so he has become distant and withdrawn (he suffers from PTSD) and depressed. He is not having an affair of that I am positive - he is just really struggling. I have had my own issues and basically we have propped each other up and survived. There was no great argument or fight he said he needed space and that he had lost his identity and needed to work out who he was - that I needed to work out who I was. He said we should have done it 5 years ago but didn't. He moved out (its my house) and is now renting with a friend from work. Over the last 4 weeks we have met up once a week. He has agreed to MC and I have been getting my own IC which is helping greatly. He has admitted he still loves me and is attracted to me and will look at reconcillation once he sorts out his own issues with the PTSD and identity issues. He is not doing IC as he has done it before and believes he just needs time to put the things he learnt previously into effect. He is not seeing anyone else of that I am sure. If he is not at work or with his young daughter he is with me. I badly want us to work out to reconcile. I am enjoying IC and am learning a lot about myself and how I can improve. I have also thrown myself into fitness and have lost weight. We have not gone NC because neither of us wants this although it is mostly me that iniates contact although he always follows through on plans etc and never cancels. Do we have hope? How can I suggest to him that he needs IC? How do I push MC when he says he needs a few more weeks to gather his thoughts... My psychologist says he is still invested in the relationship but that I should back off and wait for him to catch up... If you made it this far - Thank You.
Nsweet Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I went through a gread deal of PTSD after leaving the navy and also suffer from cyclothymia. I know what he is going through to the T. It took me a while but I learned to cope. I am more than willing to walk you through this.
Author Cooee Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Thank you Nsweet. His PTSD is from childhood abuse - he had it sorted when we met but it has come back now. Did you suffer identity issues at all? He is a great man and liked by many he just doesn't know who he is anymore... Should I push gently for him to go to IC - he is relucant to go because he doesn't want to have to dig up everything from the past again as it is so painful and thinks he can do this on his own. Funnily enough he is ex military too.
Nsweet Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Since your case is so similar to mine, I am willing to help you as much as I can on here,through email, or videochat if you can find the time. Otherwise you would be stuck waiting for responses here for the next few weeks. Seriously it's slow a lot of the time. Let me know what you wanna do and we can begin immegiately. I have ebooks I can send, dozens of books I can paraphrase, and a whole lot of insight you will need if you wanna progress even sooner.
Author Cooee Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Happy to chat on email but don't really want to post my email addy on a public forum...
Author Cooee Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Yeah but I don't have access to PM - because I am not an established member yet... wonder how long that will take...
Nsweet Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) did you get it? get it quick because I will take it down! Edited October 4, 2011 by Nsweet
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