ziggue Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 My boyfriend is very busy. He has Uni, work, and a sick Grandma. We get one or two days a week to see each other. But he has been canceling a fair bit lately. Every time he cancels he either says we will catch up next week or let me know when you are free but something seems to pop up again. LoL. We try to see each other at least once or twice a week but lately. Have not seen him for the last couple of weeks. For these reasons... Examples: Once cause of he's Grandma, two workmate had an injury three tired from work and had a bad day four, he had a chest infection and a bad cough. It is doing my head in because I have not seen him in a while. About once or twice I have snapped at him because I was not sure if he was telling the truth but he assures me he was. He also reminds me that he has a very busy schedule. Have been giving him some space and trying to be patient. Think this all sounds genuine? Any tips on what to bring up and how how to bring things up without scarring him off? When I got in contact with him on the weekend. He said we will catch up and have a chat this week once he is better.
Lucky_One Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 When I got in contact with him on the weekend. He said we will catch up and have a chat this week once he is better. How often do you talk? How long have you dated? Personally, he sounds mentally checked out, but maybe not.
blueskyday Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I'd say you are having a gut feeling something is off. Maybe he is taking a bit of space, but he should let you know that's what is going on. He may have gotten busy and isn't too good at handling it all so he's let your relationship slip a bit. But that's not acceptable either. You are part of his life, and you can help. He needs to communicate what that help would look like, even if it is a little time to himself. Either way, give it a few days to collect your thoughts, then talk to him. Describe what you've noticed and ask what is up. Do this in person. Do you usually spend weekends together? If you do, and now you aren't, that's a red flag, don't you think?
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 See also this similar thread for more background
Lucky_One Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Carhill, thanks. I should have done that myself! OP, no. He is not into you. He is making excuses. Just because he paid for your weekend away with him doesn't mean jack. You paid for your flight, and he would have had to pay for a hotel room for himself anyway. So all he was out was food/drinks. Big deal. When a man can go a month without seeing you, and when you have a "date night" on Wednesdays only, and when you only text every few days, and when you have to initiate the texting, then there are 4 indications that this R is not a priority for him. Weekly sex on a Wednesday USED to be a priority for him, but it doesn't look like it is any longer. I would suggest breaking up with him. If you are reluctant to do that, then at least quit contacting him and quit asking to make plans. See how long it takes him to contact you, and see how long it takes him to ask to see you, and see how long it takes him to actually see you. If it takes him over 3 days to contact and over 5 days to see you, then you have a really good answer.
stillafool Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I second what Lucky_One said. It maybe that this guy is trying to break it off with you without saying things that will hurt your feelings. It does seem that you are doing all the work. You really need to pull back and leave any future contact and plans up to him. If he doesn't make them and follow through you have your answer.
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