Rediska Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am not describing myself, FYI, and this person is clearly made out of my imagination (well, sorta). She dresses classy and has elegance to her, great manners, and a hell of a lot of substance (intelligent, honest, kind, can hold any type of conversation, carries herself well,etc., think: Audrey Hepburn). She's also beautiful. BUT, she's promiscuous. Would this turn you off despite whatever she has going for her? why and why not? thanks, lol. EDT: Damn it, meant woman not women. Unless if you're looking for a group of them
Lucky_One Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Flip the genders. I wouldn't date a promiscuous man. Period.
kodax Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I have dated a woman EXACTLY like this. So I suppose the short answer is yes. If she's got so much going on for her, I don't care about her past, as long as I know I can trust her in the current relationship. I would have a harder time getting serious about a woman with a history of cheating than a woman who's slept around a little. It's worth mentioning that I'm still fairly young and the woman in question even younger. If I were older, I would probably be a little less accepting of someone who hadn't "grown out" of that.
Buck Turgidson Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I'd date her for all those reasons, including the promiscuity, as long it was for the right reasons. The right reasons being that she has high self-esteem, enjoys sex, and does as she pleases despite whatever condemnation she might draw from obtuse busybodies (as opposed to having low-self esteem and trying to buy men's friendship with sex).
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I'd look at her relationship history. Audrey was no romantic slouch, but she was relationship and family-centric, as an example reportedly breaking up with Bill Holden, due to him having a vasectomy, because she wanted to be married and have children with him. Most of the women I've been in LTR's with have been promiscuous by my standards and the current retrospective commonality between them is that they generally see a clearer path to the next potential rather than working on the current relationship. They know how easy it is to hook another man, having had so many lovers, so there's no real impetus to stay and work things out when a R/M hits a rough spot. My data points are 'older', meaning women 35-50+, so YMMV on different age groups.
oldguy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I did date a few of her, I didn't marry her though. I might have once she proved she was able to commit to one relationship. Credit score, it all really comes down to your credit score & how much credibility do you have & for how long have you had it.
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Define promiscuous. Here's a formula I cooked up to quantify my definition.
oldguy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Here's a formula I cooked up to quantify my definition. I'm not sure if this applies to promiscuous but there is a formula that implies; 3 or more partners a year in each of 2 or more consecutive years is, unusual.
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Well, if I had been with 54 women, the result of my formula, would I be considered to be promiscuous by most women here? That's two partners per year for every unmarried year since age 15. For more 'progressive' people, substitute 'monogamous LTR' for 'married'. Most people here appear to define LTR as a monogamous relationship of over a year, so one partner for that year. Obviously, the word 'promiscuous' is extremely subjective. All we can do is offer various perspectives and then scan down the page to the bottom and read the 'similar threads' on the subject for retrospective opinion.
oldguy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Statistically; the average person will have just under 8 different heterosexual partners per life. In addition; approximately the same percentage of people who have more than 20 heterosexual partners is the same as those who have 1 or less. The average of less than 8 is down slightly from the early seventies but it is believed that has to do with the fear & spread of STD's such as AID's. These stats are for North America.
carhill Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 That sounds reasonable. I've found, based on my friendships with women as well as LTR's/M, that progressive truth appears to be a fairly commonplace occurrence. With the friendships they are more quickly truthful, since they have no intention of sleeping with me or having a relationship with me, but the truth trickles out. First it's husbands and significant boyfriends, then those more insignificant boyfriends, then some hot guy they dated for awhile, then a particular 'crazy' period between relationships and then the lesbian encounters and then....... on and on. I call this 'incremental disclosure', carefully timed to coincide with their perception of the partner's emotional investment. Start off slow when there's minimal investment and progressively tell more of the story as investment increases. The truth gets out there, so they feel good about that, but I find the timeline to be a bit distasteful and deceptive.
In A Rut Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 No. No I wouldn't date a promiscuous woman, I don't want to be associated with such low quality women and I don't want to catch something nasty.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am not describing myself, FYI, and this person is clearly made out of my imagination (well, sorta). She dresses classy and has elegance to her, great manners, and a hell of a lot of substance (intelligent, honest, kind, can hold any type of conversation, carries herself well,etc., think: Audrey Hepburn). She's also beautiful. BUT, she's promiscuous. Would this turn you off despite whatever she has going for her? why and why not? thanks, lol. EDT: Damn it, meant woman not women. Unless if you're looking for a group of them Probably not. Only because I'm pretty serious when it comes to dating, so I focus on women who I could potentially marry and have kids. Honestly, I used to be pretty open about this... but I've realized through past experience that sexual behavior is an amazing indicator of mental health. In other words... slutty bitches be crazy.
Ginger Beer Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am not describing myself, FYI, and this person is clearly made out of my imagination (well, sorta). She dresses classy and has elegance to her, great manners, and a hell of a lot of substance (intelligent, honest, kind, can hold any type of conversation, carries herself well,etc., think: Audrey Hepburn). She's also beautiful. BUT, she's promiscuous. Would this turn you off despite whatever she has going for her? why and why not? thanks, lol. EDT: Damn it, meant woman not women. Unless if you're looking for a group of them I wouldn't for lots of reasons. I wouldn't be able to trust her and I'd be wondering why does she need to have slept with lots of people before me? If they were all serious relationships (which is unlikely) then that's worrying, maybe she has issues. If they were one night stands, we won't be compatible.
grkBoy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am not describing myself, FYI, and this person is clearly made out of my imagination (well, sorta). She dresses classy and has elegance to her, great manners, and a hell of a lot of substance (intelligent, honest, kind, can hold any type of conversation, carries herself well,etc., think: Audrey Hepburn). She's also beautiful. BUT, she's promiscuous. Would this turn you off despite whatever she has going for her? why and why not? thanks, lol. EDT: Damn it, meant woman not women. Unless if you're looking for a group of them I have to agree with others that just saying "promiscuous" doesn't mean anything unless we have details. Did she sleep with a lot of men? Some women? She does freaky things? Plus...how old is she? In reality, I don't hold a woman's "number" against her, provided she's clean (no STDs), faithful to any man she calls "boyfriend" or "husband", isn't going to constantly compare me to other lovers, doesn't have one or more accidental babies from that promiscuity, and isn't full of baggage from her past. I'm serious, and I'm sure a few here will say I'm full of it. I don't see what her "number" has to do with if she's an ideal match of not. So let's say I'm single and meet this woman. She's gorgeous, intelligent, down-to-Earth, faithful in RLs, isn't commitment-phobic, loves sex, educated and has a career, and she's into me... ...I'd see it as a big plus. Now if she's in her mid-30s and I find out she's been with 40 guys before me (since age 16 let's say). I'd only want to make sure she's clean (no STDs). That's just me. Looking for a "virginal" woman or a women with "less experience" who has the rest of the "total package" is very hard nowadays. Sometimes you need to put aside the ridiculous things and only focus on how you two are with each other, if you like one another unconditionally, and if you're good for one another. I never expect any woman to not have a past.
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