lonelynyc Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 As many of you know, I have been moping around LS for months now bitching and moaning about my yo-yo relationship with my ex. One minute she loves me the next she doesn't, on and on and on. Well, let's just say I chose the nuclear option to this predicament. I called her and basically tore her a new one. Called her on all her ****, told her I could care less if she wanted me back in the future, that's it, she can go to hell. Guess what? I feel great. It's actually a relief. There's no looking back and that's the way it should be. I did this because I realized that I no longer loved her and she possibly never loved me. It was an obsession. I feel relieved, like I might sleep well for the first time in a very long time. I can't believe I ever entertained the idea of staying friends with my ex. I can see clearly, and it's a beautiful thing.
Dark Phoenix Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Let us know how you feel in a few days... Not to get you down or anything but I've seen this happen quite a lot on LS. The dumpee unleashes their fury on the dumper, feels great, then feels worse than the original breakup. I hope you don't regret your decision to do this and I especially hope you don't end up more hurt after your "great" feeling settles.
wilsonx Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Let us know how you feel in a few days... Not to get you down or anything but I've seen this happen quite a lot on LS. The dumpee unleashes their fury on the dumper, feels great, then feels worse than the original breakup. I hope you don't regret your decision to do this and I especially hope you don't end up more hurt after your "great" feeling settles. I agree with this, what you did was make whats called a destructive decision. Its a win/lose decision. It gives you so called "instant gratification" but its like a drug, it only works temporarily. As soon as that effect wears off, you will be right back at the same anger/hurt that you had before. You need to start making constructive decisions, also known as win/win decisions that have nothing to do with your ex. Start creating goals of things you want to accomplish with your life and your new found freedom, then go out there and do them. This is the path to get over the anger and hurt that you feel. Once you start knocking off these goals, you will create well being/happiness which replaces hurt and anger. Constructive decisions are also known as delayed gratification. Its like you want to lose 20 pounds. So you go to the gym for 3 months and work out. The first week, you arent going to notice anything but once you start putting that effort in and continually do this, you will eventually reach your goal and feel better about yourself
fetish1980 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I agree with the last two posters. I personally think you waisted your time. Sometimes silence speaks volumes rather than letting them know they got the best of you. You feel good now and it's more than likely temporary. What are you going to do when your "high" wears off? Keep us posted. fetish
barriob Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I agree with this, what you did was make whats called a destructive decision. Its a win/lose decision. It gives you so called "instant gratification" but its like a drug, it only works temporarily. As soon as that effect wears off, you will be right back at the same anger/hurt that you had before. You need to start making constructive decisions, also known as win/win decisions that have nothing to do with your ex. Start creating goals of things you want to accomplish with your life and your new found freedom, then go out there and do them. This is the path to get over the anger and hurt that you feel. Once you start knocking off these goals, you will create well being/happiness which replaces hurt and anger. Constructive decisions are also known as delayed gratification. Its like you want to lose 20 pounds. So you go to the gym for 3 months and work out. The first week, you arent going to notice anything but once you start putting that effort in and continually do this, you will eventually reach your goal and feel better about yourself i agree with you. so is it worth it texting an ex who treated you badly?
wilsonx Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 i agree with you. so is it worth it texting an ex who treated you badly? what do you think? start making your own decisions in life, especially on things like these and what i posted. How does texting your ex going to make you feel better in the long term? Think about it
Lucio Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 hey lonelynyc, will be very happy for u if u've really let go and "found peace". otherwise, just come back here again and post. good luck.
Author lonelynyc Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 No, this is a really good thing. I was already making those constructive moves. I got a job I had been eyeing for a very long time (found out yesterday), and I guess that news propelled me towards this. My ex has become such an unwanted distraction and negative force in my life I had to cut her out like cancer. All of the constructive stuff in my life--getting back into shape, focusing on my career--was getting sidetracked due to my obsession. You know what, I fell asleep immediately last night. That hasn't happened to me in weeks.
headsashed Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 im happy for you pal,but i went the other way,i unleashed all of my anger on my ex the other night when i was alot drunk,i felt great,but the next day i was back to square 1,so in my eyes i think its best if people unleash their anger into something more posotive,i need to eat my own words lol.
TheDovic Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Good for you dude. I wish I had your strength!
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