ohsohotnow Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Hi, I'm new to this site. I didn't know what else to do. I am in recovery for drugs and alcohol. I have been clean since 1/5/04. I am fully involved in AA and am going to an outpatient program. My boyfriend is also in recovery. He has the same date of sobriety as I do. We are both 26. I know they say no relationships in the first year of sobriety, and I understand why, but we were already in one. After speaking with my sponsor about it, she told me she would not suggest I break up with him because that would be a major decision. I have a four year old daughter from a man that I was married to for 5 years. It was a very abusive relationship- physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually. I have gotten very close to my boyfriend, as is my daughter. We are beginning to realize that we are very different people than who we were when we first got together. Our relationship was based on using together. After having stated that, I must say that beyond the using together, we have something special. I love him with all of my heart. He has supported me and my daughter until I was able to finally find a good job. We don't live together any longer, which is a good thing for right now, but we are fighting a lot, and I am under the impression that he is trying to break up with me slowly- or make me break up with him, because I don't feel anything from him anymore besides the fact that I annoy him by talking about my feelings. This is so hard. I knew recovery was going to be hard, but all these problems with him is making me think about wanting to use again. I will not lose myself over someone else ever again- I must keep repeating this to myself. I am on my eighth step so I must learn to turn things over to my higher power- things like this I suppose. I feel much better after writing this down. It feels different when you write your feelings down than when you tell someone. It feels more cleansing for me. Thanks for reading![color=blue][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 I just wanted to wish you luck and hope you stay strong. I realize losing the relationship might be tough for a time, but in the end ... wouldn't it be better without all the fighting? But perhaps it can all work out, I just wish you luck and congrats on the sobriety... you are making awesome progress. Link to post Share on other sites
Maria46 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 My first husband went thru treatment for alcoholism and I took the family classes. One of the first things they told us was that it happens many times that the marriage will not survive this. We got together with his alcoholism and my enabeling. It didn't work, but the classes are great and they open your eyes to so many things. Good luck with the rest of your steps!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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