fetish1980 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 This one's really for the Ladies. (gents welcome too) I know this topic has probably been discussed before again and again, but how do you feel about guys that are trying to impress you, saying we're going dutch. It's like if you tell a woman that, you can pretty much expect not to have a second date right? My recent experience has taught me that a guy paying for things, just makes it so the women think of us as push-overs, and still doesn't help get any closer to them romantically. I realize i'm kind of rusty in the dating scene after coming out of an 8 year relationship in February this year, but how do you really tell a woman you're trying to impress to pay for their own sh%%t? The last date i was with didn't show me any romantic interest, even when i kind of hinted to her. I had out with her several times already and still nothing but a flimsy hug. When we were out, people would ask her who she's with and she would just point to me and say "A friend". Not even introducing me or nothing. Before i knew it, i was broke and still hadn't gotten any closer. So what is your take on dutch dates? Does it ruin a guys chances?
Pierre Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 This one's really for the Ladies. (gents welcome too) I know this topic has probably been discussed before again and again, but how do you feel about guys that are trying to impress you, saying we're going dutch. It's like if you tell a woman that, you can pretty much expect not to have a second date right? My recent experience has taught me that a guy paying for things, just makes it so the women think of us as push-overs, and still doesn't help get any closer to them romantically. I realize i'm kind of rusty in the dating scene after coming out of an 8 year relationship in February this year, but how do you really tell a woman you're trying to impress to pay for their own sh%%t? The last date i was with didn't show me any romantic interest, even when i kind of hinted to her. I had out with her several times already and still nothing but a flimsy hug. When we were out, people would ask her who she's with and she would just point to me and say "A friend". Not even introducing me or nothing. Before i knew it, i was broke and still hadn't gotten any closer. So what is your take on dutch dates? Does it ruin a guys chances? If she is not into you, no problem. You still pay for the date since you are paying because you are a gentleman. And you should be a gentleman with everybody including your grandmother and your male friends. If she is not into you them don't ask her out again. However, you pay the check.
Cypress25 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I always offer to pay my half on dates, but I still think it's nice if the guy insists on paying. It doesn't make me think he's a pushover, it just shows that he has good manners. I never order anything expensive anyway. That said, I wouldn't go on multiple dates with a guy I wasn't interested in. If the lady shows no interest in you, why do you keep asking her out? If you're trying to impress the girl, you probably don't want to tell her that she has to pay her own way. Just take her to an inexpensive place, then you can act like a gentleman without spending a lot of money. Of course, if you don't care about impressing her, feel free to tell her that you have no intention of even offering to pay.
v.gordon71 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 This is a tuffy, but I will take a stab at it. First of all, stop trying to impress her. Most women these days can do everything you are trying to do for them, for themselves. If you ask the women out on a 1st date, it can be a little tacky to ask her to go dutch. With that said, make the first an inexpensive but nice date. There are plenty of things to do that cost little to no money. When you are dating someone, you should really be trying to get to know them as a person and not trying to get to know the romantic side of them; this is where I think alot of men go wrong. She's either going to be into you or not be into you. If you plan a nice date where you can actually talk with one another, you should be able to pick that up (whether or not she is into you). If the conversation is going nice and you feel comfortable enough, pop the question. "How do you feel about going dutch on a date?" Watch her body language (i.e., facial expressions, body movement), and of course see what her response is. This will let you know whether or not you want to go on a 2nd date with her. Another approach is to have several phone conversations or email/im chats before going on a date, where you can nip these types of questions in the bud. In this day and age, if she can't understand that there is nothing wrong with helping to pay for her own fun, then you don't need to be with her anyway. When I go out, say to a movie and dinner, I may get the movies and he gets dinner or vice versa. If we are just going out to dinner, we'll determine who is treating before we get there; the other should graciously offer to take care of the tip and dessert if you go somewhere afterwards. You just have to be smart about it, and try to read your date.
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