californiasurf Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It's been a little over a month since my boyfriend broke up with me and he's already dating some other girl... do you think they'll stay together for a long time or not?
Author californiasurf Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 He said he didn't "feel the same" which to me is really confusing because literally two days before he broke up with me, he said I was his dream girl and that he loved me more than he could ever promise. The break-up was so out of nowhere.
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 omg same thing happened to me. He broke up with me in June. and a couple days before he said he loved me & all this other stuff.
Author californiasurf Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 It's so confusing... either he lied about loving me or he broke up with me for a reason other than what he said. But since he broke up, he refuses to acknowledge that I even exist. It's messed up
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 yeah thats how my ex was with me too. dont text him!!!!! he will come back, trust. but act like he doesnt exist and act like youre doing better without him
Author californiasurf Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 That's what I've been doing and I have gotten one single reaction out of him. And now that he already has a new girlfriend, I'm about to give up hope ):
TheDovic Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I've read a few places that rebounds fail 90% of the time... I wouldn't be too worried!
barriob Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 hang in there. give it at least a month. be indifferent and pay no attention to him. He should realize what he did, and if he doesnt, he is not worth it. I am in the same situation as you girl! be strong...dont let your ex know he has control over you
Thieves Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 He said he didn't "feel the same" which to me is really confusing because literally two days before he broke up with me, he said I was his dream girl and that he loved me more than he could ever promise. The break-up was so out of nowhere. Wow. You know, I've heard of this happening more and more often on these boards. The dumpers saying their biggest and most meaningful things to the dumpee, such as "You are the best I've ever had", "I can see us marrying/having kids", "You're my dream girl/guy", "I never want to lose you", etc., and then a week or a month later... dumping the same person they said those 'wonderful' things about. It truly is a mind-f*ck.
Gack Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Wow. You know, I've heard of this happening more and more often on these boards. The dumpers saying their biggest and most meaningful things to the dumpee, such as "You are the best I've ever had", "I can see us marrying/having kids", "You're my dream girl/guy", "I never want to lose you", etc., and then a week or a month later... dumping the same person they said those 'wonderful' things about. It truly is a mind-f*ck. If she cheated on you with another guy is that a rebound? She posted on Facebook during our 3rd year anniversary that 3 years is not enough, here to many many more years. Then a month later she cheated on me. The faults i have i changed but she still say she loved me less. I guess sometime no matter what you do they just want the grass on the other side. Lolz.
headsashed Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 my ex was the same,we were perfect as far as i knew,the day she dumped me we was making plans etc,then boom,i was dumped lol. Makes it harder when it comes out the blue like that,it hit me like a rocket.
crackster Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Yup happened to me she stayed at mine we were making plans i went to work she text me i dont love you! next heard r seen her since been 6 weeks and she had a new lad after 5 days.. so guess she left me awhile ago for this lad. Yes am upset and still love and miss her! but its getter better.. the only thing is we spent 2 and half years together best friends every thing and SHE did i over text! how low can you be! just shows me how much she thought of me and the relationship. then after that text never heard nothing its like i dont exist. but how i see it her loss i no no matter 1 week r 1 year she realize what she lost and the way she ended it like a cowed!
TheDovic Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) Odds are definitely against it lasting. I just gave this advice to Buttercup who unfortunately appears to have been a "rebound," but maybe this same advice will be a comfort to you! "this really does sound like a rebound! Typically in this type of relationship the person has not healed or come to terms with not being in a committed relationship, so they quickly find someone else to fill this void in their lives. Like in your case, they will move the relationship forward too quickly as subconsciously they are trying to have once again what they lost. The problem with this is the relationship has not been given the time to build strong enough foundations to cope with the seriousness of it, therefore more often than not it cannot take the pressure and is doomed to fail. This is why rebounds fail 90% of the time (I've read this statistic a few times)." Edited October 4, 2011 by TheDovic
Author californiasurf Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 ok reading these makes me feel a little better. but seriously, what is up with people saying the sweetest things and then dumping you a short while after? it's like nobody means what they say anymore.
sadprincess Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 my bf told me he loved me and missed me a week ago....and poof! its over.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 ok reading these makes me feel a little better. but seriously, what is up with people saying the sweetest things and then dumping you a short while after? it's like nobody means what they say anymore. Its because like your bf, they were thinking of dumping for a while, but had to keep you at their side while they made sure, or found someone else to replace you. But chances are, if your bf dumped you, it was for a reason. Something he saw in that new girl that he thought was better than you, so he wont come back to you, and he shouldnt come back. If he wouldnt appreciate you the way you are the first time, he def wont do it anytime after that, not genuinely.
Dust Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 With men its often *poof* its over. With women it often feels that way even if they were building up to it for a while. He loved you and now he doesn’t. Happens to people who are married and have kids together and it also happens to people who are young and in love. Sorry its over but you’ll be fine.
PositiveNegative Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 These rebounding dumper stories are surprisingly common. Happened to me, happened to a lot of people on here. Know that you are not alone.
Author californiasurf Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 it's not like he dumped me for a new girl... he met the girl only 2 days before they started going steady if that makes sense...
ffw Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 it's not like he dumped me for a new girl... he met the girl only 2 days before they started going steady if that makes sense... Hi Califoniasurf, Maybe he knew this girl for some more time. Sometimes, dumpers wait till they find another eye candy to get courage to pull the trigger. Its called falling out of love & jumping from one branch to another (Wilson's line) In my case, my gf told me 1 week back that she love & cares about me & boom next week she dumped me saying she fell out of love & in love with another guy. I guess she had a eye on him for some time. In these cases, the relationship is not rebound. Anyways, I hope you are not waiting for him to come back. You deserve much better. The more you focus on his life, the more you are going to hurt yourself. Go with NC. Its time to heal & move on. Just try to focus on yourself. I know its easy to say but trust me with time it will get better. Try to focus on your hobbies, studies, etc. Try to visit this form. You can read & write new threads. The more you learn, the more you mind will get open. Remember, if you love someone then set them free.
Gack Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I don't understand how they can just give up a long term relationship like that and still hurt the person by pretending to make plans and continuing the intimacy. Putting up an act like that to buy time till they confirm the replacement will be there for them is selfish. After everything we shared. I know it your life and you make the best choices for it, but how sad is it when your partner get abandoned like that after all the promises turn into lies. I understand and accepted this already but i don't like this reality at all.. Ah life. Goddamn it. At least now i'm doing so much better busy with my sch, work, loved one, modelling and nobody has anything nice to say about her bf's looks. And i took care of her with all my heart and i just got blamed. She got fatter and i look so much better. Things will get better when i graduate and let see how her future will be with that guy. When she grow up one day and realize what she gave up on and see what i've become, regret will come too late. I will pity her by then knowing how heartless i will be at that point. One reason i don't want to let go is if i do she won't have any place in my heart anymore and she was the most important and it kinda pains me to treat anybody so ruthlessly. It like telling a beggar to f off, i will feel guilty. I sure sound like a bastard now but it better than being that wretched shell i was 3 months ago.
Author californiasurf Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 Hi Califoniasurf, Maybe he knew this girl for some more time. Sometimes, dumpers wait till they find another eye candy to get courage to pull the trigger. Its called falling out of love & jumping from one branch to another (Wilson's line) In my case, my gf told me 1 week back that she love & cares about me & boom next week she dumped me saying she fell out of love & in love with another guy. I guess she had a eye on him for some time. In these cases, the relationship is not rebound. Anyways, I hope you are not waiting for him to come back. You deserve much better. The more you focus on his life, the more you are going to hurt yourself. Go with NC. Its time to heal & move on. Just try to focus on yourself. I know its easy to say but trust me with time it will get better. Try to focus on your hobbies, studies, etc. Try to visit this form. You can read & write new threads. The more you learn, the more you mind will get open. Remember, if you love someone then set them free. Well I know for a fact that he didn't know her up until a few days before he asked her to go steady with him so I know that he wasn't waiting to get the courage to go for her. And everyone tells me that I should move on but I seriously can't... I miss him more and more everyday and the fact that most people I know are telling me that him and his new gf won't last brings my hopes up, but I know I should move on but it's nearly impossible for me ):
ffw Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Well I know for a fact that he didn't know her up until a few days before he asked her to go steady with him so I know that he wasn't waiting to get the courage to go for her. And everyone tells me that I should move on but I seriously can't... I miss him more and more everyday and the fact that most people I know are telling me that him and his new gf won't last brings my hopes up, but I know I should move on but it's nearly impossible for me ): Sometimes, hope can be a dangerous thing & can drive a person insane. I am not trying to be negative here. But lets see some possibilities that could happen in future: 1) He's happy with his new gf. 2) They broke up & he comes back begging to you. 3) They broke up & he goes to some other person. So the chances are 2:1. My advice is dont live your life waiting for him. Just worry about youself & improve your life. If he comes back, you have improved your life. If he doesn't, well you weren't mopping around getting nothing done. I know it sucks but you have to stick it out & take it slow... Hope things turn out for the best... Peace
Author californiasurf Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 Sometimes, hope can be a dangerous thing & can drive a person insane. I am not trying to be negative here. But lets see some possibilities that could happen in future: 1) He's happy with his new gf. 2) They broke up & he comes back begging to you. 3) They broke up & he goes to some other person. So the chances are 2:1. My advice is dont live your life waiting for him. Just worry about youself & improve your life. If he comes back, you have improved your life. If he doesn't, well you weren't mopping around getting nothing done. I know it sucks but you have to stick it out & take it slow... Hope things turn out for the best... Peace Thank you, I'll try my best to move on
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