larryfine Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My girlfriend of 2.5 years and I just split up. My biggest regret was that I took her for granted. She even told me that. She told me that I didn't seem to care about her. I suppose I didn't. I did things I shouldn't have and it hurt her very deeply. I now know exactly what it means by, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone." So, what's your biggest regret?
radiodarcy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 that i didnt walk before he booted me out the door
mike588 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My girlfriend of 2.5 years and I just split up. My biggest regret was that I took her for granted. She even told me that. She told me that I didn't seem to care about her. I suppose I didn't. I did things I shouldn't have and it hurt her very deeply. I now know exactly what it means by, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone." So, what's your biggest regret? My biggest regret was I didn't take her for granted and caring for her. I read so many threads here where he/she dumps you because they seemed not to care , were distant etc. It's like your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
ccnaboy2000 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 after 1.5 years together, it was letting the relationship get boring and routine which led to her walking out on me and immediately into a relationship with a new guy. Its hard though, I would always ask her how she felt and whats wrong but she never told me. Guess thats what I get for being 28 dating a 21 year old.
flitzanu Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 and so far, Darcy has been the only one stating something worthwhile. seriously...the three posts up there? "omg i regret taking her for granted...she told me so" and "she told me i care too much" and "i let things get boring and she left for another guy" sorry...but you don't regret these things. you've been told "THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM" and now you're focusing on "OMG WHY DO I ACT LIKE THIS???" when in fact...there's a very HIGH CHANCE you didn't do anything. that your partners just simply decided they wanted to be with other people, or at the least to not be with you. girls are pretty awesome at convincing us everything was our fault...and "you didn't care enough/you smother me" is the quickest one to throw a guy into a sobbing pile of wimp. even if you "fixed" those things, they'd still have left. just sayin.
radiodarcy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My biggest regret was I didn't take her for granted and caring for her. I read so many threads here where he/she dumps you because they seemed not to care , were distant etc. It's like your damned if you do and damned if you don't. pretty much. i never knew how much attention was too much. if i gave him too much i was smothering him. if i backed off, then i wasn't paying him enough attention. hence, he was justified in talking to/hanging out with other girls.
radiodarcy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 and so far, Darcy has been the only one stating something worthwhile. seriously...the three posts up there? "omg i regret taking her for granted...she told me so" and "she told me i care too much" and "i let things get boring and she left for another guy" sorry...but you don't regret these things. you've been told "THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM" and now you're focusing on "OMG WHY DO I ACT LIKE THIS???" when in fact...there's a very HIGH CHANCE you didn't do anything. that your partners just simply decided they wanted to be with other people, or at the least to not be with you. girls are pretty awesome at convincing us everything was our fault...and "you didn't care enough/you smother me" is the quickest one to throw a guy into a sobbing pile of wimp. even if you "fixed" those things, they'd still have left. just sayin. yeah - - the bold pretty much sums it up. all you can do is learn from your mistakes; so you can spot the red flags next time around and avoid them. i met a really cool guy online a few weeks ago. but once i realized that he wasn't over his ex, i walked. i didn't want to; but given the pain the last guy put me through over the exact same thing, i wasn't inclined to let it happen again.sooo lesson learned
TheGrimSweeper Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Not ending it myself is also my regret, as well as occasionally getting upset at times for nothing. When she started getting distant I tried to talk to her about it but she wouldn't say anything and then just kept saying everything was fine. She eventually broke up with me saying, I didn't stand up for anything and that she expected me to figure out what was wrong myself and fix it myself in the relationship. At least if I had ended it I would of kept my respect and my head held high.
futuregopher Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My ex and I had an LDR for the summer months when we weren't at school. She's from Illinois and I'm from NJ. I regret only visiting her once during the summer. I didn't want to spend $300 on another ticket but now I realize that money is really nothing. The $300 doesn't make me happy one bit. Should have got flowers sent to her work and stuff like that during the LDR. Of course hindsight is always 20/20.
immitable Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I regret not dumping her a couple years ago, instead of me getting dumped by her.
wilsonx Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I am going to play devils advocate in this thread... and I am serious. I do not regret anything that happened in my past relationship. I picked the worst of the worst but I made that decision. I made a decision to be a doormat too. I finally learned how to start making decisions for myself based on my past decisions so I do not regret anything. I am actually glad that everything happened the way it did. I learned from my own bad decision making how to make better decisions for me. If I did not learn this, I would continue making the same mistakes over and over and over again
geegirl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Not walking out when I saw the occasional red flag but stayed because I was in denial, thinking things would change.
Author larryfine Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I am going to play devils advocate in this thread... and I am serious. I do not regret anything that happened in my past relationship. I picked the worst of the worst but I made that decision. I made a decision to be a doormat too. I finally learned how to start making decisions for myself based on my past decisions so I do not regret anything. I am actually glad that everything happened the way it did. I learned from my own bad decision making how to make better decisions for me. If I did not learn this, I would continue making the same mistakes over and over and over again I hope eventually I can feel like this. Right now all I can think about is what I should have done differently. I play out different scenarios in my head thinking how each one might have taken our relationship AWAY from a breakup instead of right into one.
69ways Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 took her for granted and broke up with her many times
BLuvv Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Not walking away sooner. Especially the year of being used as a "friend with benefits" when I knew it wasn't what I wanted and told him more than once it made me feel worse. I didn't value myself enough to stand up and walk away. I worried only about losing him and trying so hard to be "good enough" for him.
Diogenes Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Allowing World Of Warcraft into our home, that game is %$#*ing Evil. For an eye opener look up Wow widows or World O Warcraft addiction on Google.
wilsonx Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I hope eventually I can feel like this. Right now all I can think about is what I should have done differently. I play out different scenarios in my head thinking how each one might have taken our relationship AWAY from a breakup instead of right into one. It takes time to get there, I still feel hurt but we feel this much hurt now to remind us not to do the same things again. One day you will have the courage to accept that it was your decision and make better decisions in the future
M2155 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 not walking out when i saw the occasional red flag but stayed because i was in denial, thinking things would change. Ditto!!! I made mistakes, but we might have been able to get our act together had I not accepted less than I deserved.
snug.bunny Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 That I was never given the opportunity to get closure, I had to get it myself, which sucked!
Buttercup84 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Letting myself go and when he warned me it would be over if I didn't change , I didn't . I tried though
Beachgirl8 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My biggest regret is I allowed boundaries to be slowly chipped away at over a long period of time. Then gave him a second chance after the first time I came to my senses (big mistake) until one day I finally woke and said, "what the F is going on here?!?" and left. I should have recognized how bad our relationship was much much sooner. Oh well 8 years down the toilet, plus 2+ years of recovery. But I'm close to being ready to try again, finally! And am definitely going to be much smarter about things next time.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Ignoring red flags because I didn't want to be judgmental.
samphs Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Not realizing that he needed his space, not trying harder to make my own separate life, making him a priority and always putting him first....
betterdeal Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Tough call. Either it was kicking the puppy or drowning the kitten. Not sure which I regret most.
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