lovesickpuppy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago by text, no explanation and from what I knew we were perfect...fast forward he's texting calling...then I find out he ended up having sex with a girl A LOT younger than me the other night, he denied it...why? He's sick in the head! 2 weeks and he tells me he loves me but becomes a paedophile??? Is this a rebound?
Dark Phoenix Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 From the sounds of it... Why do you care if this is a rebound? if he's doing that sort of thing why would you even consider the thought of being with him again?
barriob Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 From the sounds of it... Why do you care if this is a rebound? if he's doing that sort of thing why would you even consider the thought of being with him again? completely agree with that. nobody deserves that. find a better guy.
Author lovesickpuppy Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 I don't know, I think it's got to the stage now that I just hate him, I hate what he's become but all I want is for him to hurt and to realise he lost something or someone good by finishing me for no reason! I feel sick to the stomahv especially as we lost our virginty to eachother and he can so easily do this after 3 years together. Any advice?
geegirl Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I don't know, I think it's got to the stage now that I just hate him, I hate what he's become but all I want is for him to hurt and to realise he lost something or someone good by finishing me for no reason! I feel sick to the stomahv especially as we lost our virginty to eachother and he can so easily do this after 3 years together. Any advice? Sadly, people like him do not have enough self awareness or introspection to realize what they are doing is wrong or to even know what is good for them. If he had the capacity to realize he lost/was losing something good, he wouldn't have treated you the way he did. If he wanted something good, he would not have let it go. What you want and how you view the relationship is not what he wants. I know you feel horrible that you lost your virginity to such a man. But you did it at a time when you both were secure with each other and you both were in love. If you knew what was going to happen and had foresight, I'm sure things would have been different. But you can't beat yourself over something that you wanted to do based on your feelings, three years ago.
Author lovesickpuppy Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Thank you for the great advice gee girl! you're very right! I think it's just hard to come to terms with the fact that how he could do this to me so soon after our history together, I feel as though it was worthless that I never got a second thought. I'm in such a hard place right now! I just question if he will ever realise when it's too late and I'm gone? I'd never take him back, to me he's dead - I just feel that I want the day to come where he thinks wow I want her back what i did was wrong. I don't know why, I just feel like that would be the saving grace. It seems that he's having a case of gigs as are all of his friends right now so he just woke up one day and thought 'yeah o wanna be like my friends life seems more fun'. It happened so fast he didn't even give me a reason he just out right text me and said 'it's over' I feel lost!
geegirl Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Thank you for the great advice gee girl! you're very right! I think it's just hard to come to terms with the fact that how he could do this to me so soon after our history together, I feel as though it was worthless that I never got a second thought. I'm in such a hard place right now! I just question if he will ever realise when it's too late and I'm gone? I'd never take him back, to me he's dead - I just feel that I want the day to come where he thinks wow I want her back what i did was wrong. I don't know why, I just feel like that would be the saving grace. It seems that he's having a case of gigs as are all of his friends right now so he just woke up one day and thought 'yeah o wanna be like my friends life seems more fun'. It happened so fast he didn't even give me a reason he just out right text me and said 'it's over' I feel lost! It is hard to come to terms when you've invested so much in someone only for them to discard it. But love is a risk and when you take it, there are never any guarantees that you will be in life long commitment, happy and content. You loved him based on who he was to you three years ago. Maybe he was this way all along and hid it really well or maybe you saw the red flags and chose to ignore. In any case, you can't beat yourself up over choices you made at the time. He is who he is and you don't need his validation to determine your worth. I mean, the man is sleeping with underage girls! Eeeek! Who knows, maybe one day when he matures or fixes himself, he may reach that level of realizing the good that he lost. Most times, they don't because they're set in their ways and repeating bad behaviors. By then you will be well on your way to being emotionally healthy and opening yourself up to new opportunities. Your ex, however will probably still be emotionally unhealthy and doing what he does best. I don't know what type of man just sends a text saying that it is over. You dodged a bullet. You want to make him pay for what he did to you. I completely understand. When I broke up with my ex, I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to see me happy and fine without him. The truth is, he was living well after the breakup. And there I was pondering and wondering if he would ever regret or feel bad for treating me so badly. The thing is, these thoughts will be there or awhile. But as you detach emotionally, you will not even care about what's happening to him. Your hurt will become your lesson and you'll be thankful for it. It may not seem that way now, but it time you will realize that the best revenge is living well, lovesick. Grieve, cry, hurt, pine and go through your healing process. You'll get to a state of indifference where what happens to him, how he is feeling, who he is hurting, if he is hurting, all won't matter anymore. A man who sends a text to break up is a coward. Plus, you don't want to be with someone who holds your heart in such a callous way. You deserve so much better than that.
Author lovesickpuppy Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 It is hard to come to terms when you've invested so much in someone only for them to discard it. But love is a risk and when you take it, there are never any guarantees that you will be in life long commitment, happy and content. You loved him based on who he was to you three years ago. Maybe he was this way all along and hid it really well or maybe you saw the red flags and chose to ignore. In any case, you can't beat yourself up over choices you made at the time. He is who he is and you don't need his validation to determine your worth. I mean, the man is sleeping with underage girls! Eeeek! Who knows, maybe one day when he matures or fixes himself, he may reach that level of realizing the good that he lost. Most times, they don't because they're set in their ways and repeating bad behaviors. By then you will be well on your way to being emotionally healthy and opening yourself up to new opportunities. Your ex, however will probably still be emotionally unhealthy and doing what he does best. I don't know what type of man just sends a text saying that it is over. You dodged a bullet. You want to make him pay for what he did to you. I completely understand. When I broke up with my ex, I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to see me happy and fine without him. The truth is, he was living well after the breakup. And there I was pondering and wondering if he would ever regret or feel bad for treating me so badly. The thing is, these thoughts will be there or awhile. But as you detach emotionally, you will not even care about what's happening to him. Your hurt will become your lesson and you'll be thankful for it. It may not seem that way now, but it time you will realize that the best revenge is living well, lovesick. Grieve, cry, hurt, pine and go through your healing process. You'll get to a state of indifference where what happens to him, how he is feeling, who he is hurting, if he is hurting, all won't matter anymore. A man who sends a text to break up is a coward. Plus, you don't want to be with someone who holds your heart in such a callous way. You deserve so much better than that. Thank you for this amazing advice geegirl! Had an epiphany from it and finally realised you're very right! I feel fine, I feel like yeah, he's doing this to fill that hole of no longer having someone there seeing as he can't justify his reasons for breaking up with me! I am in the place now where I just think, if it's meant to be it will happen, I would never take him back though, and if I was to even consider it, it would be at least a year from now and would need evidence of his changed character..that's IF! For now, it's my time to shine, I don't need him to make me happy, I've got myself Btw I love the way you told me I'd dodged a bullet, have been thinking about it all day at work!! Such an inspiration
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