StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My ex text me last night as he heard a family member was not well...I haven't spoken to him in 3 weeks, but he ended his text with what he used to call me and a kiss. He has not previously used this when we have text before since the split.
geegirl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My ex text me last night as he heard a family member was not well...I haven't spoken to him in 3 weeks, but he ended his text with what he used to call me and a kiss. He has not previously used this when we have text before since the split. We place so much emphasis on a pet name and a kiss over text when we're hopeful and broken up. The big picture is that you are not together anymore. Hold on to that. A pet name and a kiss is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. He is testing the waters. My ex did that after we broke up. Sending stupid text messages with pet names. They knowyou are vulnerable and they use that to hit your soft side. He's just fishing to see if there is a way in. If his feelings have changed, you would know. He will show you. Stay NC. Don't reply.
Author StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 Thanks for the reply. I am doing well with NC, I just don't know why he would want to 'test the waters; as he finished with me and I don't think he wants me back. It was really strange when we first text and we used each others names rather than pet names, this is the first time in 3 monhts he has said the pet name. I find it all so confusing.
Lucio Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 dun read to much into it so that u don't get too disappointed.
Author StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I'm trying not to read into it. I know it's over....it's just sad, i have my gd and bad days....im hoping more good to come. He is a gd guy, just needs some time and space to sort himself out
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My bf broke up with me out of the blue. need help?? i text him today after 9 days NC AND HE NEEVER wrote back. it was a message saying sorry and that i hope he doesnt hate me
JohnP82 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Stay strong and don't respond. My ex called, texted, and emailed me. I was a fool for responding and now I have to restart NC. Be strong!
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 i will try. but i feel like i should let him know how i feel. i was going 10 days NC and he didnt even try to contact me:( why is this?
Author StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 Yeah, you need to stick with nc.....it's hard but each day that goes by you feel better and stronger....trust me i was in a state when i split up..still not 100% but nc really does help
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 well this has happened before. i text him and he ignores me. but then a couple days later he texts me out of nowhere.
Author StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 Then they know they can get hold of you whenever they want so they don't need to reply to you. You need to stop replying....make him realise he can't treat you like that, you are worth more
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 its so weird because like two weeks ago i sent him a message saying i was sorry for being pushy and not giving him space and then he said he didnt wanna talk to me or anything to do with me. and he was over everything and over me. He said iwas trtying to make him feel guilty, when i really didnt mean that at all. what do u think of this?
Author StellaA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I have been there. I begged my ex to come back for 2 days, i went crazy. I have now not text him and i think he was expecting me 2....3 weeks later he text me! they ate not going to be attracted to you ever again if you beg. Also, i know u want this person but.....don't you deserve someone who wants you more than anything rather than settlibg for second best. They will always think they can do and say what they want as they know how desperate you are! Start thinking about how important you r 2
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 true. but why do you think he felt guilty? he doesnt treat me like i would want him to treat me. he also said he doesnt love me, he sees me as a friend. i was so nice to him and cared for him so much. and he treats me like this....
geegirl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 @ barriob 1) he doesn't treat you the way you want him to 2) he sees you as a friend 3) he broke up with you Why are you chasing this man? Get your self-respect and dignity back. He treats you the way he does because you have allowed him to do it. You have alllowed him to disrespect you. Texting you that he is done and completely ignoring you for days -are those the actions of someone that really cares and loves you, put aside the mistreatment? No. Someone who loves you will handle you with kid gloves and be kind to your feelings of hurt. What do you think will change if he came back? Nothing will change. He will still treat you badly. He will still see you as a friend. He is bound to break up with you again.
TheDovic Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 BREADCRUMBS!!!! I've given in to this type of **** a few times and didn't listen to the smarter people on here! If he changes his mind about the breakup he will tell you. Don't give him the ego boost of showing you care like I did with my ex. She practically begged for my attention but once I gave her it she went cold as ice once again... You're best chance is NC as he's obviously STARTING (remember he's not there yet) to question his decision
Author StellaA Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 You need to start thinking about you. At the moment he knows he can get you so easily. I have been there, it's really hard to not want to respond or contact them as you see it as hope that they want to be with you. They are so used to talking to you 'when they want' that you make it easier for them. What happens when you need them??? they are not there for you, why make it easy for him! You are worth so much more! Take some time out, you don't have to look for someone else, just give yourself time to get strong again. I really do know how you feel, I'm only 3 months split and it has been tough......I didn't see an end, I still have bad days but I have started reading, going to the gym, buying new clothes, why let one person bring you down! You def have to do NC! don't break it no matter waht he does!
barriob Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 you really think he knows that? like he texts me and says he doesnt like that we r not talking but yet again he is the one who ignores me. I dont get him at all.
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