PaperClip81 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Hi I am new here. I'll keep the break up story short: We were together for a little over a year. During the relationship we took one break of about a month initiated by him. I went NC, he came back, I took him back we never discussed what happened. Everything was great until this past August. He broke up with me again because he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. The actual break up took about a week, we chatted about it, I sent the crazy girl email that one is not supposed to send, we had plans to meet up again then he cancelled on me, he said he didn't think it was a good idea to meet in person because it might be confusing; he did that via text. I did not respond. A few days later I receive an email stating that he knows I am mad at him and that I don't want to talk to him but he thinks he's doing the right thing and he's upset and very sorry. I didn't respond to that. A few hours later I receive a follow up text checking to see if I received his email, I did not respond to that either. Its been about 4 weeks and I have not heard from him at all. I know that the point of NC is to heal yourself and not try to win them back, but I am afraid that my ignoring really backfired on me and I will never hear from him again. I'm not sure if I should send a "feeler" text in the next few days? I guess if he was really that concerned he would get in touch with me regardless of my ignoring. I just don't know what to do. Did this backfire on me?
oldguy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Why are you playing HS games? OMG, your in HS. Stop playing games for future.
leoc1973 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Yeah nothing backfired this guy was gonna break up with you either way. Dont have that regret of thinking you really screwed up with the NC thing cause regret will make it worse. I don't think anything you could have done would have made a difference. Usually when people go NC they do a month as a really good standard to wait. Give it another week if you want maybe he will figure the month is up and contact you.
flitzanu Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 in the same sentence you say "i know NC is to heal myself, but i think it backfired and he hates me" then you don't get the point of NC at all.
Kamila Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 The moment you said 'no' to your ex-boyfriend, it backfired at you. He just isn't comfortable with the idea that he sometimes doesn't get what he wants. You resisted him by going no contact. That's why he's pissed off. When you're kindhearted and soft, it's really easy to be swept away by guilt. You think about his feelings, not yours. And he knows you work that way and that's why he's being manipulative. You just have to see the strings he's pulling. I would continue (or repeat) NC. That way, he will (hopefully) understand that he can't walk all over you and come back like nothing happened. He broke up with you some time ago, remember ??
Author PaperClip81 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Why are you playing HS games? OMG, your in HS. Stop playing games for future. If YOU'RE going to be rude you might as well learn how to differentiate between "you're" and "your" when YOU'RE rude, that way you don't appear ignorant. As for everyone else, thank you for taking time to respond. I was just having a moment of weakness and despair this morning but I feel better after thinking about what you all said. I appreciate it. I am going to stay NC and see how it goes. Thanks again.
flitzanu Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 If YOU'RE going to be rude you might as well learn how to differentiate between "you're" and "your" when YOU'RE rude, that way you don't appear ignorant. As for everyone else, thank you for taking time to respond. I was just having a moment of weakness and despair this morning but I feel better after thinking about what you all said. I appreciate it. I am going to stay NC and see how it goes. Thanks again. and again, there isn't a "how it goes" because it isn't a game.
Author PaperClip81 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 and again, there isn't a "how it goes" because it isn't a game. How it goes for me mentally, not to get him back.
Recommended Posts