maylis Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I went on a date last night with this guy. I wonder if this seems too soon for him, I don't really want to be a rebound.
Pasttense Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It depends on the guy and the relationship. Some people snap back quickly. And people can stay in a relationship even though it has been dead for quite a while because of inertia, kids, can't afford to move out... Does he keep talking about his ex? That would be a negative sign.
greenfin3 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It's hard to know without knowing more information about the relationship and also the guy. He ended it so that's a good sign (from a 'non-rebound' perspective), but was it because he no longer had feelings for her or was it because she hurt him in some way? If it's the latter then you might be in rebound territory. What sucks is that you can't really ask him the details otherwise you seem crazy. The best way to get a better understanding is to LISTEN. See if he brings up elements of the relationship in conversation (which shouldn't be often but since it was a 6 year relationship it could happen). If he sounds overly positive or overly negative about it, then there's probably baggage that you don't want to deal with. But if he's neutral about the whole thing then he's probably ready to move on Good luck!
oaks Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I went on a date last night with this guy. I wonder if this seems too soon for him, I don't really want to be a rebound. Sounds too soon to me, but if you're thinking about it then you'll be on the look-out for potential issues.
LSgirl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I met my boyfriend 3 months after he got out of a 8 year relationship. You have to give him time to come around, it may not start out as smoothe but if u dont pressure him, it can work. I thought I was his rebound, but isn't everyone at some point a rebound? We've been together for 9 months and he doesn't talk about his ex. I'm sure in many ways he's still hurt and may even miss her, but he's moved on, and with me!
Author maylis Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 It depends on the guy and the relationship. Some people snap back quickly. And people can stay in a relationship even though it has been dead for quite a while because of inertia, kids, can't afford to move out... Does he keep talking about his ex? That would be a negative sign. He so far just mentioned her once when he was explaining they lived together. I was the one who asked why they broke up and he said it was because he felt like he was her parent more than anything else. I guess I can give it a bit more time to see what I think
Author maylis Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 It's hard to know without knowing more information about the relationship and also the guy. He ended it so that's a good sign (from a 'non-rebound' perspective), but was it because he no longer had feelings for her or was it because she hurt him in some way? If it's the latter then you might be in rebound territory. What sucks is that you can't really ask him the details otherwise you seem crazy. The best way to get a better understanding is to LISTEN. See if he brings up elements of the relationship in conversation (which shouldn't be often but since it was a 6 year relationship it could happen). If he sounds overly positive or overly negative about it, then there's probably baggage that you don't want to deal with. But if he's neutral about the whole thing then he's probably ready to move on Good luck! Thanks! I have such limited information too. Well, I think I will just continue talking with him but things will move very slowly, no rush anyway
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