JasonRules Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I just wanted to drop in and say "hello" to everyone. I was quite active during the end of 2010 and up to mid 2011. Some of you may remember me, but most probably won't. I, like the majority of people in here was devastated because the woman I was seeing was no longer interested in me. I agonized, tried, sweated, cried, and was miserable for countless days. Some days you wish they would just put you to sleep so you don't feel anything. I have been in your shoes, but I wanted to post this. I don't remember how many months its been since I last saw her or spoke with her. The only thing I remember is her telling me she was in a relationship with someone else and he was getting pissed/jealous of me having any contact with her whatsoever, so that was that. I deleted all her contact information (mobile phones) and also blocked her on FB because we have some common friends and FB would suggest I friend her. I got sick of looking at her photo because all it did was brining me back memories of agony and pain. I have grown much wiser due to this experience and will tell you the following; I know this is impossible right now because you are emotional, but one day you won't be. Stop wanting them back. Stop thinking about them, caring about them, romanticizing about them, thinking they're thinking of you etc etc etc. Make them irrelevant in your lives. At this point in my life, I have absolutely no interest in seeing her, talking to her, hearing about her, or caring what is she doing, who she's with, who she's calling etc etc. I simply don't care at all anymore and I'm much happier. Looking back, I realized that this person was not what my mind had made them out to be. They had flaws, many of them and once I was not emotional anymore I would see them all one after the other. Looking back at everything I can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked into something like this and lowering myself to be with someone who is not even on my level. My dating life has improved 1000% and I have regained back by confidence and optimistic attitude I had in life. Also, my work/life/appearance have improved dramatically, not because I wanted to try to "better" myself for her, but rather I refocused my attention to ME instead of someone else. My goal was to make myself HAPPY FIRST and not put someone else's happiness before mine. I was dating a girl over the summer and while it wasn't the same, when she started getting cold on me and make comments/complaints about me, I never once argued with her. Instead of the train wreck drama with my ex, this time I just remained calm, never pined or showed any emotion, and simply disappeared. I saved myself all the emotional turmoil and trouble (lesson learned). It's not going to happen, but right now I can honestly say if she were to ever attempt to come back, I would rather cut my d*ck off than take her back. Trust is like glass. Once you break it you can't glue it back together because you will end up cutting yourself. And while I have dated aplenty the past 2-3 months I have yet to meet "the one", but I know in my heart she is out there. Live your lives with the following: 1. Learn to love yourselves first 2. Learn to LET GO OF YOUR EXES 3. Learn to NEVER LET GO OF HOPE. Not the hope that your ex will come back, but the hope that somewhere, someone out there is looking to meet you because you're a wonderful and beautiful person, both inside and out. Never ever let go of that hope!
broken-and-lost Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 hey jason I remember you fella was around at the time and still am really happy to hear your doing well and moving on with your life, i'm trying to do that myself still not 100% over her but 'm trying my best. It's nice to see how far you've come since your original posts gives hope to people that they really can move on in time. Good luck to you fella
Mack05 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) At this point in my life, I have absolutely no interest in seeing her, talking to her, hearing about her, or caring what is she doing, who she's with, who she's calling etc etc. I simply don't care at all anymore and I'm much happier. Looking back, I realized that this person was not what my mind had made them out to be. They had flaws, many of them and once I was not emotional anymore I would see them all one after the other. Looking back at everything I can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked into something like this and lowering myself to be with someone who is not even on my level. I have regained back by confidence and optimistic attitude I had in life. Also, my work/life/appearance have improved dramatically, not because I wanted to try to "better" myself for her, but rather I refocused my attention to ME instead of someone else. My goal was to make myself HAPPY FIRST and not put someone else's happiness before mine. Live your lives with the following: 1. Learn to love yourselves first 2. Learn to LET GO OF YOUR EXES 3. Learn to NEVER LET GO OF HOPE. Not the hope that your ex will come back, but the hope that somewhere, someone out there is looking to meet you because you're a wonderful and beautiful person, both inside and out. Never ever let go of that hope! Jason good to see you back (I remember you from this post and many others -> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t278270/ I think you just put the last 8 months of my life in this thread. It really reasonated with me and I wholeheartedly agree with very word. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. Fast forward 8 months and I have met a woman so much more suited to me. She is beautiful inside and out and I've never been happier. There is always hope and if you put the work in on yourself during the tough times, you will meet the right person for you. Edited October 3, 2011 by Mack05
fetish1980 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 jason, i know i'm a week late in this thread. Good to see you on here again. You give some good advice. You and I collaborated pretty often before my old "fetish" account was compromised. Our breakups happened close to the same time, mine in February. Learning to love yourself is the key to it all. Once you love yourself, you're able to set better boundaries for yourself which will weed out what you will and won't put up with in both life and relationships. That will make it all the more easier for the right one to come into your life. Putting other's happiness first is how we often lose ourselves in relationships. When we're so worried about pleasing the other person, we forget what matters to us. Putting all that energy back in to yourself makes moving forward all the more easier. Letting go of your exes, probably the most powerful and important tool. If you can't let go, it hinders growth and the possibility for new blessings and relationships to enter in to your life. It's our attempt at control. It disrupts the natural process. Just like a stream. A stream should flow naturally and it's natural flow shouldn't be disturbed. Holding on to things from a season's past is interupting the natural flow. Our life is the stream. I'm still trying to learn this. It is improtant to keep hope. Hope is our fuel to keep going. Our natural engine. Once you've had a time to reflect on yourself and finding what's important to you, you will be more confident. Confidence is not only a mindset, but it's also an energy. It's an energy that can be felt and its exuded to the world, to others, and makes you desireable. fetish
ConfusedT Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 i liked your statement about hope, a lot of us really need that right now! glad to hear you are doing much better!!! i hope to post something like that!
Trovador Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Hey, buddy, I remember your ex owed you some money, out of curiosity did she honor the debt? I ask you because I was in the same predicament and I had to take extremes measures (that is, going to her house and sort of stalking her) to get the money back... Morale of the story, never mix pleasure and money... Good luck, friend, and thanks for sharing about your recovery...
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