BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 hello, I'm just trying to get a few opinions or comments about this. I'm the other woman, I'm 19 and he's 27. He's in an unhappy marriage and we've been messing around for several months. I'm hoping that he gets a divorce and gets with me but i'm not minding being the one he cheats with. has anyone else been i this situation?
wannabdone Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Hi Britt... Your post is extremely vague. If your just wanting the answer to if anyone has been there, I think most of us have that are on here.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 So you WANT a cheater? Isn't that kind of like wanting a car you know is a lemon before you buy it? Or maybe it was just a lemon because the driver didn't treat it well? If you like being a mistress then more power to you, enjoy! Bad marriages don't make cheaters, personality issues do, who would knowingly want someone with issues? Is this his first affair?
Emme Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Honey you are 19, please live. Get that 27 year old married man away from you with his personal problems. Enjoy your youth. Do not get attached.
Author BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I'm sorry i dont mean to be vague, but i just joined this site and i guess I don't really know how to do it. I don't particularly like being the mistress, but the sex is amazing and i do have feelings for him.
wannabdone Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I'm sorry i dont mean to be vague, but i just joined this site and i guess I don't really know how to do it. I don't particularly like being the mistress, but the sex is amazing and i do have feelings for him. It fine.... just not for sure what you are wanting to know. I agree with Emme.... you are 19, you are awfully young to be throwing your life away on someone that isn't available. I bet you could find great sex somewhere else.
Author BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 It's not jus about the sex, i do have feelings for him and I'm the only girl he's cheated with. The first time happened accidentally and we just continued to do it I guess
Eddie Edirol Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I'm sorry i dont mean to be vague, but i just joined this site and i guess I don't really know how to do it. I don't particularly like being the mistress, but the sex is amazing and i do have feelings for him. Your man probably wont get divorced as long as he is getting sex on the side. From what I see, married men all say the same thing, they will soon get divorced to keep you on the hook, so you most likely wont get him to yourself. He might not be as miserable in his marriage as he makes it look. He might tell you that to get what he wants. Chances are, if he really wanted a divorce, he would have had it by now.
MissBee Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) Honey you are 19, please live. Get that 27 year old married man away from you with his personal problems. Enjoy your youth. Do not get attached. I agree! You are still in your teens....most unmarried men you'd be dating probably wouldn't be those you'd settle down with, further to pin your hopes and dreams on some married guy. I have been involved with a committed guy when I was at a similar age; however, he was not married and I also was realistic enough to not expect that he would leave to be with me. I very much doubt this man is going to get a divorce for you and at this age you're still learning and growing sooo much and the world is so open for the taking that there is no reason to get involved in such predicaments. It is possible that he likes you and likes having sex with you but is not really considering being in a serious relationship with you....single men do this, furthermore older married men having As with much younger girls. A lot of times it is that you're fulfilling a need for them and not that they are having any kind of equal relationship with you or are offering any commitment or even thinking about that! Live life, have fun and don't expect any commitment from him! If he gets a divorce and wants to commit to you...great (although, then you'd want to consider whether or not you wanted such a man full time) but if not, you'd still win out. Edited October 3, 2011 by MissBee
MissBee Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It's not jus about the sex, i do have feelings for him and I'm the only girl he's cheated with. The first time happened accidentally and we just continued to do it I guess Can you explain? The first time what? Sex? You cannot accidentally have sex. I am sorry to say but that is just impossible...
Author BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 If I were to look around for a new man, should I still play around with him til i find someone or would it be best to cut the ties completely right now? cause I do really like him, but I understand what you mean about him divorcing her
Author BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 well we were both drunk, we weren't at the blacked out stage but I know I started it all by dancing with him and reaching into his pants. after that it sort of escalated
MissBee Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 well we were both drunk, we weren't at the blacked out stage but I know I started it all by dancing with him and reaching into his pants. after that it sort of escalated Wow... Drunk sex...not smart. In any case, you don't need to play around with him while trying to find someone new. If you want a real relationship you should leave him alone altogether.
Author BrittanyA Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 yea, i was freaking out for the next couple weeks cause he didn't use any protection and i wasn't on the pill then.
Capris Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Hi Brittany. Im sorry you are part of this forum's section. Most of us know how it is to really love a MM and i tell you, it hurts like hell. Doesnt matter if the love is strong on his side too. Doesnt matter if you eventually end up together(possibilities are very very slim). Im sure i cant convience you easily to stop, but do try to. If i could do it all over again, id be telling him "its me or the wife" and stick to it. You may think its harmless to continue just for the sex, but if you do the feelings you already have will turn into something srtonger and it will be even harder to leave. Im not gonna tell you that he is mean/ a liar or whatever, i dont know him and i dont know you, but you are going through something similiar with me. Its gonna be hard leaving, even if its a really new relationship, but seriously, leave. You will be in for a really really tough time if you dont. If its true love or anything, it will find its way without an Affair. Take care!
Yianks Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 You are too young for the pain that these A have. If you do not end it soon you will find yourself in other Affairs in the future. The pain that comes along will eventually be a lifestyle for you. Trust me, get out and start running, the sooner the better.
MissBee Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 yea, i was freaking out for the next couple weeks cause he didn't use any protection and i wasn't on the pill then. Am I the only one who feels less scared about pregnancy than I am about stds? Side note: It's always interesting to me that in the current day and age the ONLY concern people have about unprotected sex is pregnancy.....
Eddie Edirol Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 If I were to look around for a new man, should I still play around with him til i find someone or would it be best to cut the ties completely right now? Dont be the monkey that NEEDS to swing from branch to branch, learn to stand on your own. Let him go before you get further attached. That way the next guy wont get any baggage, or comparisons. I understand why you dated an older man because of all youve accomplished, and 23 year olds dont do it for you, but im sure theres 30 -35 year olds, that arent married that are in the same stage of life as you, that will want to start a family with you, y'know? I have to be honest with you here Brittany, usually the mistress gets bashed for coming out on this board because of all the sour souls, but people have been really sympathetic to you because they sense that you arent trying to break up homes, and youre so young and successful that you dont need to go this route. I think you should think about that, I know youre really smart, you can find someone who is as accomplished as you, that wants to marry if you look in the right places.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Britney, you are so young, it is so not worth it with a mm. I'm sure there are many single guys for you to pick from. In the future I hope you can be more discriminating about who you choose to have sex with and unprotected, drunken sex with a mm is very dangerous. Please think about why you are willing to take such unnecessary foolish risks at such a tender age. Damn, I sure did mix her up with someone else. oh well, the rest still stands....
Emme Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) At 19…. let’s see In college, studying your butt off Having sex galore with your boyfriend or many men Partying so hard you don’t know how you made through the day on 2 hours sleep or no sleep Simple things at 19… Start with those! Affair with a married man... scratch that off the list. Edited October 4, 2011 by Emme
Author BrittanyA Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 And why did you reach into the pants of some man you were dancing with? Is this what 19 year olds do these days? Do you think this makes you sexy or alluring? Sorry, but this type of behavior screams easy. This type of behavior is what men screw, not what they marry. At 19, I would bet you have no idea what love really is. You find it exciting and cool to be having sex with someone's husband. You are enchanted knowing that you and he are taking risks (and not just the STD and pregnancy types of risks) Your behavior is the behavior of a good time girl, nothing more. I am sure none of us are going to convince you to stop. Just remember that men like woman who are classy and sexy and fun; someone they can take home to mom. Not someone who puts their hands in someone's pants while dancing. I'd rather you not insult me. I was drunk, I'm aware that putting my hands down his pants was slutty. However, I think we may have something and while he's cheating on his wife with me, he'd never cheat on me because im his dream girl
alexandria35 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I'd rather you not insult me. I was drunk, I'm aware that putting my hands down his pants was slutty. However, I think we may have something and while he's cheating on his wife with me, he'd never cheat on me because im his dream girl lol..OK. If by dream girl you mean a girl who gets drunk, sticks her hands down a mans pants, has drunken sex, and doesn't mind being kept a hidden secret for ongoing sex, well I guess that's you.
Mimolicious Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Short and sweet. Grow up and enjoy your youth rather than wasting your time with someone that has no scrupples and joining his party. If he is in an unhappy marriage, then he can get it together and take care of his situation. Having an A with you is really not going to fix anything. Good luck and be drama free.
26pointblue Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I'd rather you not insult me. I was drunk, I'm aware that putting my hands down his pants was slutty. However, I think we may have something and while he's cheating on his wife with me, he'd never cheat on me because im his dream girl If you truly believe this, then I'm afraid you're delusional. Sure, right now you're the new hot thing & he will be distracted by you for awhile. But as soon as his wife finds out or he gets bored with you like he is with his wife, he'll be onto the next girl willing to stick her hands down his pants while drunk. He's just using you & if you don't want to see that then we can't help you. Even if what you said is true [it isn't], are you really okay being that girl? The girl on the side who is the dream girl b/c she gets slutty when drunk & lets him cheat on his wife with her? Please look at this & improve your way of thinking. I say this as someone who has BDTD. Please look at how you got here & why & what you can do to change for the better.
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