charlie88 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) My ex is a drug addict. She had been clean for a while when we were together but she relapsed a few months into the relationship. I was already in love by then so I decided to stick it out and I eventually told her parents who are now tracking her funding and not enabling her anymore, thanks to my help. About a week after this incident she broke up with me because I couldn't give her the space she was asking for (first 2 weeks of withdrawals were tough on her). I acted clingy and very emotional because the whole drug thing had taken its toll on me. We've been broken up for about 3 weeks. I called her 2 weeks in and asked her if we could get back together and she said she'd think about it. Again I pushed it too much, she flaked a couple times when we made plans, and we fought, but finally she came over and we made out and talked. She said she loved me to death but can't handle the obligations of a relationship right now. She also told me that she had a fling with someone else during our break up, I did too except she had sex and I didn't let it go that far because I wasn't in the spirit after breaking up with my ex. My ex said it was just a fling and that guy and her aren't talking anymore. I said that if it wasn't for the relapse things between us could have worked out and then she said that she thought they could STILL work out but we needed to take baby-steps with our relationship. That we had jumped into it to fast the first time and that we had said I love you way too soon. She also told me I was the only guy shes ever thought really cared about her. When she left I was kind of distraught because of the other guy thing. She said she didn't know why she did it, I told her it was because she was just horny and she laughed and said that was probably it. She texted me an hour after she left saying that she really enjoyed spending time with me and that she hoped I felt better. She sent me a few texts in the middle of the night to see if I was awake so we could chat on FB but I didn't respond. Then today (2 days after we met up) I called her and asked her to hang out on our anniversary. She said she would. I'm not that bothered with the other guy thing because we were technically broken up and she told me about it and I made out with another girl too with the intention of sleeping with her but I am kind of worried about the no-obligations thing. I don't want to be just friends with benefits with her. I was thinking of asking her for a compromise when we meet, that I'll give her more space but she needs to stay clean and not mess around with anyone else. I don't think thats what she meant by no-obligations... more like she needs space to work on herself more than anything and that she can't take care of me until she can take care of herself but I am just a little nervous about the phrase. I think I'm more focused on making it work than she is although knowing her personality she would probably freak if I moved on with someone else. She acts interested in seeing me but flaked like 2 times when we made plans and that got me a little anxious and doubtful. Since then I've meditated and realize that I have to act less caring and more aloof to not push her away. I've been acting like that for the last couple days and it seems to be working somewhat. She has been texting me more often. I understand that logically I should turn around and run but emotionally I am very attached to this girl. Any advice? I just don't want to be led on... girls tend to say thing that guys want to hear and I am not sure what she sees in her head in terms of us. I think I'm just going to lay it all out on the table when we meet again but I want to keep it light and fun since we haven't hung out much in a while. Shes been clean for a month for sure. (Info from parents and friends) I was thinking about asking her to get tested too before we have sex again... since she was with that other guy. I've decided that if she flakes on this date I am going to move on and go no-contact with no intentions of reconciling. Edited October 3, 2011 by charlie88
noel2 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 As the ex of an addict, I ask you to be careful about getting back involved with her. Addicts have a way of sucking us in and making us the co-dependents and it can be very exciting, because there is always something new and dramatic going on. I would say that you are better off moving on to someone healthy, JMHO. Good luck!!!
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