Eternal Sunshine Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Second week now, things are still going reasonably well. We had few minor conflicts that were resolved quickly just by talking things out. I have found that I am much more relaxed now. My fear of abandonment has pretty much dissapeared. I used to have this worry every single time he didn't set a date at the end of last date. I used to worry when he didn't respond to texts right away. Now I am at peace because I know I will see him in the evening when he gets home every day. I used to take prescription anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills just to get through the day for the duration of this and any other relationships. I have now been off them for a week and am sleeping better than I have in years. As a result, I feel much more energetic and have been able to go to the gym regularly and have started dropping weight (finally!). I only lost 4 lbs so far, but people have already asked me if I have lost weight. Hope it continues to go well
Nexus One Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I'm going to win that bet from a while ago. I'm happy for you ES.
HeavenOrHell Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 That's good to hear However, keep in mind there are no guarantees in any r/ship, I don't take anything for granted after my left after nearly 20 years, we were solid for a long time, we thought we were the love of each other's life. I now have fear of abandonment, I was never insecure in a r/ship before, I'm learning to become self reliant and to not let my life revolve around my r/ship, I'm not sure I would live with someone again, I'd rather stay independent and happy living alone. I don't feel comfortable needing someone. I never thought I'd get to the point where I'm happy living on my own, I reached that point a few months after my ex left. What I'm saying is; don't let your happiness/peace of mind depend on whether your partner stays with you or not, we need to be happy and secure in ourselves, partner or no partner. I hope things continue to go well for you. Second week now, things are still going reasonably well. We had few minor conflicts that were resolved quickly just by talking things out. I have found that I am much more relaxed now. My fear of abandonment has pretty much dissapeared. I used to have this worry every single time he didn't set a date at the end of last date. I used to worry when he didn't respond to texts right away. Now I am at peace because I know I will see him in the evening when he gets home every day. I used to take prescription anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills just to get through the day for the duration of this and any other relationships. I have now been off them for a week and am sleeping better than I have in years. As a result, I feel much more energetic and have been able to go to the gym regularly and have started dropping weight (finally!). I only lost 4 lbs so far, but people have already asked me if I have lost weight. Hope it continues to go well
Stung Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Congratulations. I'm glad you are feeling, and sleeping, better. I also agree with this quote: What I'm saying is; don't let your happiness/peace of mind depend on whether your partner stays with you or not, we need to be happy and secure in ourselves, partner or no partner. I hope things continue to go well for you. Good luck.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I'm going to win that bet from a while ago. I'm happy for you ES. Thanks NO We are into the 8th month now and suddenly a year doesn't seem so impossible. All our major issues have been resolved.
zengirl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Congrats, though now --- when you are doing well --- is the time to work on that fear of abandonment so that the moment he goes on a two week trip or something you don't suddenly feel abandoned. It may never be necessary but it will help you regardless. And if things have settled down and are good, it's the perfect time and supportive setting (hopefully) to tackle that anxiety --- the real heart of it --- once and for all. Anxiety doesn't just "go away." It may ebb for a time, but if you rest on your laurels, it will come back. It may come back in a different form, but it'll be back. None of that is meant to damper the current happiness, though. I just hope this period of happiness is also productive for you.
Ariadne Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 I used to take prescription anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills just to get through the day for the duration of this and any other relationships. I have now been off them for a week and am sleeping better than I have in years. It's amazing how this relationship has even "healed" you. I noticed that the few times that I was in a happy relationship, even for a short while, it was when I looked the skinniest, didn't feel like drinking, eating, etc. I believe it's true that people are not complete alone, and it reflects in many ways. (Also, I think that moving in together in 7 months was perfect timing, they say that at 6 months is where relationships get defined one way or the other) Now I'll be looking for the wedding announcement thread.
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