Buttercup84 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 While my ex said things like I am beautiful , funny and smart ( after our break up and when we first started going out ) He stopped giving me compliments , rejected me for sex and just ignored me despite living together. I really let myself go at the end as I was getting depressed because of his treatment. He was saying that when he was single he had one night stands ( over 30 girls ) and despite him saying he wants to be alone now and stay away from hook ups and relationships.He had a dating site before he broke up with me and I think he had it all along. Despite him being a jerk I hate myself so much now.People say I am attractive , have a good body and so on.But I don't see it anymore , I just feel like crap because of the way he was with me. He bought me new clothes sometimes wish was nice but sometimes I wonder if he did that to change me.He bought me nice going out dresses but never took me out. My friends said to just get dressed up and go out with them to show him that he could lose me. He just knew I was always going to be around and waiting for him. I became a hermit and just stayed home and lost myself. Even yesterday when I went to the movies and I knew there was no chance to bump into him , I took ages to decide what to wear , because I didn't feel good enough. He said his next girlfriend will be classier etc. I am so angry that he broke me so bad that I have no self esteem left. I usually loved trying on nice dresses but when I do now I still feel plain. I know that I should not wait around for a man to make me feel beautiful but shouldn't a boyfriend make his girl feel sexy and tell her shes beautiful ? Admire her and love it when she dresses sexy for him ? He was like that at first but then I just felt invisible. I need to get my self esteem fast , I don't want to waste my life feeling sad. Thank you
brokenheartedinaz Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Go get your hair done! Buy some new makeup and selome new clothes! When you look good you feel good! I'm a licensed cosmetologist and It always makes me feel good when I see someone walking out the door with nothing but smiles on their face! They can't help but look in the mirror over and over.
Kilty Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Read what i posted here Buttercup http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t300423/ In kinda mirrors (in a small way) what being with this guy has done to you.
Surfer Girl Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I got the same thing... He showed me a picture of me of like 8 years ago and said what happened to that girl?... His ex ex was very beautiful, sexy, leggy... etc.... He was really into that.... The last time he saw me... I cut the long hair and had a really sexy haircut... a very sexy beach coverup... I got compliments on the haircut... and people I didn't even know complimented me on my beach outfit... I had a very good girlfriend that took me out shopping and said this is what you need.... I changed from plain to sexy... somewhat for him... but more for me...and I love the change... Maybe shopping for even one item that is sexy... may change your outlook...LOL...I was so naive when I first went out with him I never even had thong underwear...I love the new change in me...
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Your ex was a jerk. You're better off without him.
Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 The anger you are experiencing is actually quite normal and healthy. In trying to keep your relationship with your ex together, you seriously betrayed yourself, and so now it is time for you to deal with her and she is furious with you. And universal too. I've experienced it and hated it. It will get better. Remember this feeling though, when the next guy comes along. And treat yourself better next time!
mike588 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Yes a boyfriend or any man that truely loves you should compliment you, tell you your beautiful,,make you feel special and appreciated,, take you out and "show you off' and make you feel sexy! surprise you with small gifts. I did all that and more (you know my story) but she dumped me anyway!
Author Buttercup84 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I got the same thing... He showed me a picture of me of like 8 years ago and said what happened to that girl?... His ex ex was very beautiful, sexy, leggy... etc.... He was really into that.... The last time he saw me... I cut the long hair and had a really sexy haircut... a very sexy beach coverup... I got compliments on the haircut... and people I didn't even know complimented me on my beach outfit... I had a very good girlfriend that took me out shopping and said this is what you need.... I changed from plain to sexy... somewhat for him... but more for me...and I love the change... Maybe shopping for even one item that is sexy... may change your outlook...LOL...I was so naive when I first went out with him I never even had thong underwear...I love the new change in me... What an a hole ! Glad you got away.I like that you did that for yourself , I am going to do that too. Going to get clothes that are different and sexy and also buy nice underwear that only I will see good luck.
Kageytn Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 You know what I'm going to say... Self esteem comes from within not from other people. Buttercup, I struggle with this every day. I am going to therapy. I do self esteem exercises and chant mantras. I WILL NOT ever let myself be dependent on someone else for my self worth. I can't. I have spent my whole life doing it and now I just cant any more. I'm exhausted. You are destroying yourself with these thoughts. You have to be exhausted. Please try to take some small steps to change. Tell yourself every day you are loved by yourself. You have value. Speak it even if you don't feel it. It'll feel awkward but you will start to believe it. Also, do not allow yourself any negative self talk. It was really hard for me but it's made a huge difference. Please try. He is not worth this. No one is.
Author Buttercup84 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 The anger you are experiencing is actually quite normal and healthy. In trying to keep your relationship with your ex together, you seriously betrayed yourself, and so now it is time for you to deal with her and she is furious with you. And universal too. I've experienced it and hated it. It will get better. Remember this feeling though, when the next guy comes along. And treat yourself better next time! Thanks for that , you are not a jerk really
Imajerk17 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) Thanks for that , you are not a jerk really Thank you. Our little secret though please. Don't tell anyone! Meanwhile, work on rebuilding the relationship with yourself. Do some nice things for her. Win her friendship and esteem back.... it will take time, but she will come around... Edited October 3, 2011 by Imajerk17
lonelynyc Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Buttercup, we all have horror stories about our exes. My ex spent the last few weeks of our relationship insulting me constantly. When we were first broken up she would sleep with me and then proceed to ignore me for weeks on end. Even now, she asks me to walk her dog but refuses to meet up in person to hang out because she's "not ready for that yet." I could go on but you get the point. You are a good woman (and very attractive to boot). The fact that you ordered meals for him even when he broke up with you shows that you are a kind-hearted, generous person. From what you described he sounds like a career cad--someone who views women as benchmarks rather than people. The fact that he told you he'd find someone classier is hilarious. He's left you behind, it will only get worse. Class isn't about having extensive knowledge of fine dining or even being well-read, it's all about how you treat people and the sort of impact you want to leave on the people that enter into your life. I can assure you, you will find peace before he does.
Author Buttercup84 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 Thank you so much for that Nyc it made me really happy. Its disgusting that she treated you like that. I mean there is nothing you can do if you no longer love that person , but she could have at least treated you with respect. My ex is career obsessed , does not really care for his job and just wants to make the money. My mum thinks he is too money obsessed. He even admitted after the break up that he hates his job and I am lucky to have a job where I make a difference ( teaching ) . I might never make as much money as him but at least im happier. Thanks so much again and wishing you all the best xx
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