newbiedude86 Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Hi guys/gals, I need your advice... So there's this girl that works with me and she has a boyfriend but we have been talking regularly and shes been showing interest in me. We exchanged numbers, and I asked her out for a drink last week. She said that she was busy that night so i left it, thinking she was not interested to go any further. Then out of the blue this week she messages me and asks me if I want to go out with her for that drink. We go out, we having a great time and shes flirting with me so i made the move to kiss her. She loved it. She was telling me how she was keen to have a "secret relationship" and how she was unhappy in her current relationship. Then the next day she calls me and says she was unsure about the situation and not sure if she was comfortable to continue. I see her at work again a few days later and she is flirting with me again and glancing over my way all the time. I acted totally neutral(friendly) but did not flirt back. Im so confused and i don't know how to proceed with this. I really like this girl and i cant stop thinking about her. I know this situation isn't a healthy one, i don't expect a relationship from her and it doesn't bother me. I just enjoy hanging out with her and doing the fun stuff. Please give me your opinions on how i should handle this situation. How should i act towards her now to win her? Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousbox Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 If your really serious, tell her either dump her current bf or move on. Your engaging in an emotional affair at this point, tread very carefully... Link to post Share on other sites
Author newbiedude86 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Thanks for the advice, i think you are right about getting into an emotional affair. Its hard now though, because i see her nearly everyday, i dont know how i should be towards her. Shall i be totally cold? or try to get more serious with her? More thoughts would be much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Do what I wish I'd have done - tell her that you're interested but it's such a shame she's with someone, then remain friends. Trust me, stuff like this will only end bad. If she's not willing to leave him but is okay to cheat on him, that was does that say about any future relationship with you? Depending on how long she's been with her boyfriend, she may just love attention, crave it even. You get close, then she tosses you aside and goes running back to her guy. There's been a few girls who I've met in very similar situations and the worse thing to come out of it was that we were friends and so when things happened, then ended, it destroyed any friendship. I so wish I'd have just thought it through and kept it friendly. Oh and remember you work together, so if you get emotionally involved and she runs back to her boyfriend, you'll have to see her every day at work still. I'm sure there's a few on here that will share their experiences about that situation. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Think about her boyfriend, whose GF is running around behind his back. If you are keen to BE that guy, hey, go ahead and go after this walking trash. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Rule 1; this one should be chiseled in stone or tattooed on your chest; you don't date people who are in relationships, EVER. It's pretty egotistical & unrealistic to believe that someone who would cheat wont eventually cheat on you. Rule 1a; you don't become a rebound bf/gf. Rule 2; You don't date people you work with Rule 2a; if you date someone you work with, find another place to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newbiedude86 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Rule 1; this one should be chiseled in stone or tattooed on your chest; you don't date people who are in relationships, EVER. It's pretty egotistical & unrealistic to believe that someone who would cheat wont eventually cheat on you. Rule 1a; you don't become a rebound bf/gf. Rule 2; You don't date people you work with Rule 2a; if you date someone you work with, find another place to work. I dont expect a serious relationship from her, i dont mind keeping it a "fun" thing. But rule 2 i must agree... Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 That is probably best. And would hope you would consider rule 1 the most serious rule :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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