noel2 Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 Hi y'all on this forum, wanted to share this with you. I stayed with my married man for 2 years, then he moved and I still went and saw him only to have him wind up with someone else. See, there are no guarantees you will wind up with him and let me tell ya, you think being the OW/OM is painful, watch the man you've stood by and adored leave his wife all right, but not for you, for someone else entirely. I am a statistic of what being the OW is all about. I thought I was special too, trust me, if you were that special, he'd move a Mountain to be with you. Good luck to all of you and please love yourself first.
bigmomma1974 Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I think this is the best advice for everyone in the world. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN OR WOMEN OR SOMEONE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. hAVE RESPECT FOR THE OTHER MAN OR WOMEN., THERE ARE MANY SINGLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
FirstNobleTruth Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I'm so sorry for your pain, Noel. I hope you won't go on feeling that you weren't "special enough" for him. What he did says so much more about him than it does about you. Stick around with some of the strong and wise women who've been through similar things, and you'll rediscover how special you really are.
Author noel2 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 Yah, I'm definitely much better off, although at the time I was devastated, but see, he will do the same thing to her, they usually do, although I know there are SOME who don't, but why risk it. I am now spending my time trying to rekindle the relationship with the true love of my life, which is more important to me than anything.
SunsetRed Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Well, you're telling it like it is, even if it is the ugly truth. I know my xMM could be with me if he wanted to be. If I want to live a healthy, happy productive life, I've got to let him go. Hanging on to thoughts and memories of him is threatening my survival so I've got to move on.
mzdolphin Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Sorry to hear about your loss, but it takes smarts and self-respect to come to the conclusions that you did. This is good advice for anyone, whether the guy is married or in a relationship with someone else. If a man wants you, he will do what it takes to be with you. You just concentrate of yourself, having a beautiful life. Men who cheat on their wives are ok with messing over two women they claim to care about. Think about that. They are ok with lying to people they claim to care for. They are cold enough to sleep next to the mother of their children, the woman who cares for them and loves them and lie to her every day. They are ok with leading another woman on. Could you do this to anyone? Let alone to somebody you care about. Could you lie for years, to a co-worker, just to get what you wanted? Believe me, you are better off than the poor woman who ended up with this person.
Author noel2 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Posted October 6, 2011 I completely agree, I know I'm better off than she is, in fact, if I was a BIT**, I would warn her, but it's not my place. She will have to find out the hard way just as I did.
siuys Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Hi Noel. Sorry you had to experience that. I was in a similar situation. Well, my gut was telling me it was heading that way. I was "with" him for year and a half. During that time he moved out twice. After he moved out the second time, I could tell he was ready to move on from his M but he was still flip-flopping with me after a few weeks. Despite all he said, his actions were telling me he was not emotionally available, and I was pretty sure he wanted to look around. Anyway, I had finally had enough so I ended it. I am sure it was going the direction you guys were in. In a way, I got out "just in time" but there is still anger. It's been almost 5 weeks and life is improving in a big way though I have my moments. I do understand now why I had even gotten involved with him. I take my part of the responsibility and moving on. Live and learn. All the best to you.
Author noel2 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Being in a A, can be exhilarating and heartbreaking all wrapped together in a nice little present. We trick ourselves and tell ourselves, oh I'm the single one and I'm in control, WRONG, we are not, the MM/MW is in total control and its not fair, we just get leftovers. Guess what? I don't eat leftovers out of my fridge and I'm not taking them from another woman's bed.
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