lauralweston Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I met my ex (of 9 months) quite soon after my previous boyfriend and we ended up being "friends with benefits" but then we both fell for each other after I admitted I had feelings for him. At first he told me not to get too close as he didnt want anything serious and then after a while he came round and admitted he wanted the same too. Now unfortunately we had told each other alot that you wouldnt usually tell potential new partners such as preious ex experiences, about my previous boyfriend being in prison, that he had slept with a stripper a few years prior etc. I suffered from bad insecurities and all these comment caused arguments, tantrums and really bad paranoia and insecurities. We ended up having 3 major arguments that caused me to have to leave and stay back with my parents for a week each time but each time I returned we got stronger and managed to talk through our issues. I went to a psychotherapist and got better and we really began to get on. After a few months I had noticed his OCD and his anxieties and after a while he became withdrawn and very anxious about everything. Turned out he suffers from an anxiety order and he just imploded and I couldnt talk to him anymore, I became tired and stopped looking after myself in order to look after him but it was all too much and he broke up with me. Told me he isnt making me happy and that my insecurities were making his anxiety worse. After a week of me texting and emailing him with communication from him as to what happened, we decided that no contact would be best so we could both get over it all and move on. He has begun to see a psychotherapist for his anxiety problems and I have now started to look after myself again. He emailed yesterday, 2 weeks after breaking up with me. He says he is so sorry for the pain his anxieties have put me through, that he loves me so much and he was sorry for the lack of commitment he showed me throughout the relationship because his anxieties had got the better of him. He has already had a few therapy sessions and is now feeling better in himself. He says he DOES see us with a future, with marriage, kids, dog etc but he is just really sorry that his anxieties have harmed our relationship because he always felt he wasnt good enough for me. I have told him we still both need space for a good few months and that no contact will be best until we both realise what is best. He says he wants to get better and win me back, I have told him he needs to get better for him, that way he can conquer anything but not to expect anything more then friendship at the end for now so he doesnt get his hopes up. Bottom line is....its been such a rollercoaster already, but I absolutely love this guy and admire him for getting help, unfortunately, Im not sure whether or not I could take him on knowing that his anxieties could possibly relapse at times throughout his life and that its not an easy path to take. Is this the time to be selfish for myself for once? Does anyone else live with a partner who suffers from anxiety or depression? Should I seriously think about taking him back after we have both healed or should I cut all ties now and move on? I cant help but shake "the grass isnt always greener" statement from my head. That I trust him 100%, enjoy him as a best friend and lover, would I be able to find someone else like him without the anxiety issues but someone who I can trust, love and admire the same way I do him? Sorry its such a long message!
brokenheartedinaz Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 My ex suffered from anxiety and depression and addiction to pills. I was his rock and did everything I could to help him through it all. There were times our arguments got out of control and I got physical with him which I am not proud of, but we always made up the same night and always vowed to make it work cause our love was so special and one of a kind. The day he left me we got into an argument but nothing out of control and I left to cool off before saying anything or doing anything I would regret. He ended up leaving for good. The thing is, if he called me today and said let's try it again , I would take him back in a heart beat, because I know I am willing to stick it out and work on our love. So, do what your heart tells you, if you think you can make it work , or feel it's worth another shot , go for it. I would give so much to have that second chance with mine.
Nsweet Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Speaking from the other side of that coin, I do have a problem with bipolar disorder that I was only able to take care of after the breakup. You may be able to take him back but these problems will resurface unless he seeks the help he needs and vows to you he will continue to get help. You can really help him get through his problems so long as you maintain a supportive nature.
leoc1973 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 You fell in love with your best friend who you are crazy about! I don't think I would let that go unless you have exhausted every option. I don't know much about anxeity disorder but isn't there medication for that? Ten years from now there will be a pill for everything. The grass isn't greener it is very rare to find what you have. I think you will regret this one if you don't at least try.
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