bf brings up things i'm not good at in the middle of arguing

[iheartsuki]

this has happened again and again.....in the middle of a disagreement over something, my boyfriend will completely discredit everything i'm saying by bringing up what i'm not good at. i have attention deficit disorder and, as a result, have trouble remembering things short term, being organized, managing time, keeping track of details....it causes me a lot of grief, a lot of problems, and it really affects my self esteem severely.

 

as someone very close to me, he knows how affected i am by it, practically and emotionally. yet, in the middle of an argument over something that happened, he'll say things like "i know, i'm not wrong, b/c you aren't good at this kind of thing. this isn't your strong suite, so i have no reason to trust you on this." it stings so much, i literally don't even know what to say to it or how to convey how wrong this feels. it seems like someone who is supposed to do everything to help build up my self esteem is just crushing it into dust. i feel like he is using my disadvantages to his advantage in arguments in order to WIN and be right. when i try telling him this, he tells me he's just being logical -- if we both think we're right, it's more likely that he's right b/c he has a better memory (he has said this). again...i just feel blown away by comments like this and have no idea what to even say b/c it hurts so deeply. and especially when he is so polar opposite....hearing what i already believe about myself from someone who has qualities/abilities i wish could have (he is EXTREMELY organized, intelligent, keeps track of details, etc) only confirms how i already feel about myself.

 

there is also a total lack of sensitivity in other situations...like, if he is trying to tell me something and my attention is all over the place, he will later neglect to make eye contact when i'm talking or not pay close attention when i'm talking. when i get upset about this (i really am not a control freak, but it gets to a point where i don't even feel like i'm connecting at all), he says "half the time i'm talking, i don't feel like you're paying attention at all, so you're really not in any position to complain". or if he is doing something completely unrelated that i find disrespectful (like frequently cutting me off when i'm talking), he'll say that he can't control it, just like i can't control certain things relating to ADD.....yet when i go to work, my problems are still there, still affecting me, still embarrassing me, and still affecting other people. when he goes to work, he has no trouble controlling himself when other people are talking.

 

he apologized, but i just know he'll do this again, b/c i don't feel in my heart that he actually understands the ramifications of what it is he's apologizing for. i think he truly believes he's just being logical. i feel like his behavior is at times abusive, but he says it isn't. it's destroying the last shred of my self esteem that i try so hard to hold onto. what do i do here?