BLuvv Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I've actually succeeded in keeping busy this weekend. I went out to places I haven't been in so long, stuff I'd let go by the wayside because my ex had no interest in my old hobbies. It reminded me of the the things I loved so much and had let go for someone who cared so little. But I didn't let it get me down, I genuinely was enjoying myself and was glad that for once I was with people who care about me and doing things that make me happy! Today is day 6 of NC and I'm actually not wanting to contact him, I have no urge to pick up that phone. But considering the way things were left so open-ended and that he ditched me at the last minute on plans we had made and the fact that he knows nothing about me going NC, it kind of bothers me that he hasn't tried to contact me at all. (Okay so I know that's kind of ridiculous- like I'm not going to talk to him- but how dare HE not try to contact me- yes I see how ridiculous that sounds!! haha) But seriously, it's like I guess he didn't really care to try to make new plans after he ruined the other plans. He knows I was angry and extremely hurt but hasn't tried to reach out to me at all. Then again I suppose it could be a good thing, a reminder of how little thought he gives to my feelings. So for now I'm gonna "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...what do we do? WE swim, swim swim!"
eleanorhurting Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 ahhh I totally know how you feel but just hang in there you can do it!!
Author BLuvv Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 ahhh I totally know how you feel but just hang in there you can do it!! Thanks, Eleanor! Yeah, it's sucky, but we'll get through it. Just have to believe that better days are ahead. We'll get there!
Kiraskrazy180 Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 You've answered my question a little ealier. I know how that feels. My ex is the same way. He claims to be busy, ok thats fine. So am I, but no text or anything? Wow you must really NOT care :-/ Trust me, he will at some point. They always do. Watch when you're far over him in a new relationship and he'll randomly decide to call you out of the blue, because he knows that you've clearly moved on from his sorry @ss. People want what they can't have, and he's going to just wait until you're happy to finally want to get back into your life. This time he'll use some sorry excuse like we should be "good friends" a classic. My ex's favorite thing to say after 2 months of NC. He might not even contact you until a year from now, or maybe a few years, which is good. Gives you time to let go and move on. If I were you, I'll keep up with the NC rule as long as possible. If he suddenly decides to contact you, through text, or call, keep it short and sweet. No I miss you. Just a casual conversation. Nothing about you two. Then you'll just be sorry. Good luck ;-)
lonelynyc Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 You're in an excellent place right now for someone who so recently went NC. You already are at the point where you have no desire to speak to him. That's huge. You know he doesn't respect or share your interests for instance, is insensitive, etc. Admitting all that to yourself and taking him off any sort of pedestal is really important. The only trouble is that you're still angry. You want him to suffer the way he made you suffer. That's a normal feeling for someone who has been wronged, but it will subside. Learn from our mistakes and keep NC up as long as it takes for you to be ready to love someone new. You're already well on your way.
eleanorhurting Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 he texted me "whats up? how are you" must be strong!
Author BLuvv Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 You've answered my question a little ealier. I know how that feels. My ex is the same way. He claims to be busy, ok thats fine. So am I, but no text or anything? Wow you must really NOT care :-/ Trust me, he will at some point. They always do. Watch when you're far over him in a new relationship and he'll randomly decide to call you out of the blue, because he knows that you've clearly moved on from his sorry @ss. People want what they can't have, and he's going to just wait until you're happy to finally want to get back into your life. This time he'll use some sorry excuse like we should be "good friends" a classic. My ex's favorite thing to say after 2 months of NC. He might not even contact you until a year from now, or maybe a few years, which is good. Gives you time to let go and move on. If I were you, I'll keep up with the NC rule as long as possible. If he suddenly decides to contact you, through text, or call, keep it short and sweet. No I miss you. Just a casual conversation. Nothing about you two. Then you'll just be sorry. Good luck ;-) @KirasKrazy180: Yep, same with my ex, it was always he's just busy. He does have a lot going on, but I'm sorry, there is NO excuse to not even be able to send a text message, some of us are fast enough that a quick what's up text could take you fractions of a second to send. Even when we were together I told him it meant a lot to me to hear from him and I wish he would just send a quick message here and there instead of me always having to be the one to initiate the conversations. The other day he's like "you know I"m just not good about that." Okay, well if you can't take half a second even to check in and make me happy, you're not worth my love and devotion. And yeah, that's why all this year I keep going back, because he does still call and text, not frequently, but often enough to keep me from moving on anywhere. That's why I had to break this cycle. He was wasting my time, claiming I'm still his "best friend", but not treating me anything like what I would consider how to treat a best friend. For my best friends, I would be there anytime, night or day, for whatever they need. That was not the case with him. I'm trying to prepare myself for the inevitable text (he won't call I'm sure of that)- it will probably be a simple "hey how are you doing". I am determined to be strong, it's the only way I will get past this. I can't be mean to him though I could never be- I probably will answer because I feel so rude to ignore him, but I will tell him plain and simple I'm going NC. I'm sure he will probably just be like okay. Although it doesn't really matter what he says.
Author BLuvv Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 You're in an excellent place right now for someone who so recently went NC. You already are at the point where you have no desire to speak to him. That's huge. You know he doesn't respect or share your interests for instance, is insensitive, etc. Admitting all that to yourself and taking him off any sort of pedestal is really important. The only trouble is that you're still angry. You want him to suffer the way he made you suffer. That's a normal feeling for someone who has been wronged, but it will subside. Learn from our mistakes and keep NC up as long as it takes for you to be ready to love someone new. You're already well on your way. Thanks! I can't say there won't be days I want to, I'm sure there will. Usually some stupid little thing happens, and he's the one I'm used to texting to tell him those kinds of things. And I am trying to be realistic and see him for what he really is, rather than what I've been wishing he was. Two VERY different things, unfortunately. I am quite angry, and actually it was anger that sparked this change. I'm trying to channel that anger to motivation to keep me from going back and being complacent again. For the most part during this relationship, I just felt disappointed and sad. It never really motivated me to do anything. So I'm kind of thankful for that anger. Although, of course, I don't want to stay angry forever. But for the moment, I guess anger is keeping me from picking up that phone, and that's good enough for me.
Author BLuvv Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 he texted me "whats up? how are you" must be strong! Be strong! We can do this! I am waiting for a text just like that- unless my ex suddenly decided the same week as me to go nc- I'm assuming he will text since we were supposed to make new plans. I probably won't be able to completely ignore it and will just tell him what's going on. I mean, there is no reason to go into the issues- I've tried everything, I've said everything I can say, and I've heard it all from my ex. Unfortunately, I will never get the answers I want- not from him anyways. Hope you're hanging in there!!
barriob Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I am on day 9 of NC and my ex hasnt contacted me either. wonder why? :/
jcrod311 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I just posted in my own thread the same thing. It's great that it helps us continue moving on that they are also NC. But at the same time, that thing eats at you that really, I was THAT expendable? Kiras is right, they always contact once you've moved on. Too late.
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