The Outlaw Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Because they're bold, daring, confident, cocky, good-looking and have more of an edge to them than the 'nice' guys. As I've read somewhere before, 'nice' guys are boring, predictable, and sexually unappealing. I guess it just depends on the girls and who she wants to date overall.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Because they're bold, daring, confident, cocky, good-looking and have more of an edge to them than the 'nice' guys. As I've read somewhere before, 'nice' guys are boring, predictable, and sexually unappealing. I guess it just depends on the girls and who she wants to date overall. You've forgotten that a lot of good guys can be a douchebag to one girl, and be a nice guy to another. A question like this is phrased in low self esteem. I am no stranger to low self esteem, or this perspective, but it is not reality.
The Outlaw Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 You've forgotten that a lot of good guys can be a douchebag to one girl, and be a nice guy to another. A question like this is phrased in low self esteem. I am no stranger to low self esteem, or this perspective, but it is not reality. Yeah, I know. Forgot to point that one out.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I know it doesn't really affect me but I hear this time and time again. I met a couple of girls a few weeks ago and they were talking about dating. They were complaining about how they've always dated wankers and jerks but have never dated a nice guy before. Now, they're not talking about the push over sort of nice guy but a guy that would treat them well. Fact is I know plenty of confident, nice guys... It's not like there's a shortage of them. One of my girl friends was complaining about her ex-boyfriend and how he was such a dick and douchebag. She knew that from the beginning of the relationship and yet she still continued to date him... for 3 years! Then when they finally break up, she goes out with another jerk. I use to be friends with this guy who was dating one of my friends at the moment and seriously, the way he talks about her when she's not there and, the way he treats other people and even his friends... Is she blind? The story goes the same for a few other girls that are friends of mine. I really don't get it. I understand how some douchebags may be confident and ask girls out but even so, I would rather reject them and be alone then accept the treatment and be with someone who's like that. Or maybe it's just the girls in my age bracket 18-22 years old. Does it take this sort of experience to make them realise that they deserve better? When do they break out of this phase? It shouldn't affect you. Just like it shouldn't affect you when a known speeder gets a speeding ticket and then complains about it. Or when someone drinks excessively and wakes up the next morning with a hangover and then complains. Or any other similar scenario. The women who date d-bags chose to do so. Don't let it bother/worry you. They made their choices, just hope they stick with them and spare the rest of us the unfortunate circumstance of dating them. Seriously, women who date d-bags should only date d-bags. Stick with what works, you know?
oldguy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 old psyc theory that may hold some weight suggests that people are most comfortable entering into the types of relationships they have learned. It suggests that if dad was a douchebag or single mom dated douchbags their sons not only learned to emulate that but the daughters learned to except that. Even if they thought it was wrong, because they where raised in that environment that is where their comfort is. Of course that is just one theory & we all know psychologists are all a little whacked anyway.
Author counterman Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 It shouldn't affect you. Just like it shouldn't affect you when a known speeder gets a speeding ticket and then complains about it. Or when someone drinks excessively and wakes up the next morning with a hangover and then complains. Or any other similar scenario. The women who date d-bags chose to do so. Don't let it bother/worry you. They made their choices, just hope they stick with them and spare the rest of us the unfortunate circumstance of dating them. Seriously, women who date d-bags should only date d-bags. Stick with what works, you know? You're right. It hasn't affected my dating life at all. I just wanted to gain some perspective because it was a recurring theme in some of my girl friends' lives. And if a girl rejects me because she prefers a douchebag then so be it; I've already moved on. It's just sometimes I want to shake my friends and say "are you so blind?" Because everyone else can tell he's not a good guy. I've been on this process of improving myself as a person, and I find as time goes on, I am less tolerant of bad behaviour. That's why I have lost some friends, who were douchebags, but I just accepted their behaviour in the past. Same with attractive girls that I date. Just because they do it for me sexually, doesn't mean I would want to date them, which is why I wonder why some girls would date these type of guys? Yes, it doesn't bother me as in it stops be doing something or changes my life but it does make me curious. I like to have a deeper understanding of things and have in the past posted on LS only to have myself slammed and questions linked to a flaw on my behalf, which wasn't nice. I'll make it clear that I'm not bitter or angry or have low self-esteem, just interested in understanding the dynamic like I'm interested in a lot of things, especially in regards to dating. Also, I'm able to see things from a different light should I come across any of these girls. I also understand that many of these guys would probably get more dates than me but, like dispatch3d, I'll rather have less dates then be a douchebag. One thing I don't get is that there are non-good-looking douchebags. One being my former friend, who's dating a friend of mine. The funny thing is I have been close to him and have heard two deep extremes from him. At times he talks as though he's the prize and that he won't dump her yet just because she's not putting out. And then there's time where he's scared he's not good enough for her and is very self-conscious. But in person in front of her, he back-hand compliments her and plays on her self-esteem... which is a similar dynamic he has with most of his friends. This has always been the case but I've only started to really remove myself from it recently. I'll stick to what I know best and that's being a good guy. I agree, girls that like to date douchebags should stick with them because they could end up hurting a genuinely good guy.
Author counterman Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 old psyc theory that may hold some weight suggests that people are most comfortable entering into the types of relationships they have learned. It suggests that if dad was a douchebag or single mom dated douchbags their sons not only learned to emulate that but the daughters learned to except that. Even if they thought it was wrong, because they where raised in that environment that is where their comfort is. Of course that is just one theory & we all know psychologists are all a little whacked anyway. I have heard some really out there stuff by psychologists before. But this one does definitely seem plausible and goes to explain why some would be so accepting and even embracing of such behaviour. I dare say being in such an environment for a long time and learning the behaviour and what to expect, it would be hard to change...
oldguy Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I have heard some really out there stuff by psychologists before. But this one does definitely seem plausible and goes to explain why some would be so accepting and even embracing of such behaviour. I dare say being in such an environment for a long time and learning the behaviour and what to expect, it would be hard to change... Yes I was a Counselor for years so I've heard a lot of them too:laugh: This one has a lot of sources & covers theories from how we choose mates to why we drink. I do know that adults who who where addicted to drugs when they where young have to relearn how to act & react without the effects of drugs. It's almost like suspending their development & restarting it years later.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It frustrates me, because I feel like I'm a good guy. Yet I never get a shot at the bat. If girls want to choose the bad guys, that isn't my fault. I can only continue being a good guy, and hope a girl sees me for it.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 It frustrates me, because I feel like I'm a good guy. Yet I never get a shot at the bat. If girls want to choose the bad guys, that isn't my fault. I can only continue being a good guy, and hope a girl sees me for it. Why would you even want women like this? Let the douchebags deal with them.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Why would you even want women like this? Let the douchebags deal with them. When 90% of the women are like this, I can't compete. I just can't.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 When 90% of the women are like this, I can't compete. I just can't. I don't believe it is that high but even so just look for the 10%.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I don't believe it is that high but even so just look for the 10%. They're probably in a foreign country. And if so, how do I travel there? I have no money! I am a broke college student.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 They're probably in a foreign country. And if so, how do I travel there? I have no money! I am a broke college student. They are around you but you need to look. Go to places an untitled princess wouldn't be caught dead in.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 When 90% of the women are like this, I can't compete. I just can't. If the good guys boycott the girls who date the d-bags (even if that's 90% of the women, which I don't know if that's even true) then those girls will learn their lesson. You make your bed, now lie in it. That, by my definition is fair.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 If the good guys boycott the girls who date the d-bags (even if that's 90% of the women, which I don't know if that's even true) then those girls will learn their lesson. You make your bed, now lie in it. That, by my definition is fair. Exactly. Let the d-bags have them. They deserve each other.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 If the good guys boycott the girls who date the d-bags (even if that's 90% of the women, which I don't know if that's even true) then those girls will learn their lesson. You make your bed, now lie in it. That, by my definition is fair. They'll just keep on going out with the d-bags. They won't learn.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 They'll just keep on going out with the d-bags. They won't learn. Then that's their problem now isn't it? This is how the world works. The girls aren't going to start caring that you're a good guy who keeps getting left on the shelf, so why should you be there to bail them out of their perpetual desire to date d-bags or dangerous men? Some girl complains about a known cheater who (shockingly!) cheats on her? I don't care, she knew what she was getting into and I'm not going to fall for crocodile tears. You get what you deserve. You date a d-bag and he turns out to be an actual d-bag? Again, I don't care, you don't deserve any sympathy, and I'm not interested in actually dating you. Let the other d-bags be interested. Because, as much as I have very little confidence in myself, I don't like to give other people the pleasure of knowing I have little confidence (other than on an anonymous message board of couse ) and I definitely don't like rewarding someone else's poor choices.
Ginger Beer Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Sometimes with these guys they seem really charming and do and say all the right things at first. That is what keeps the girls interest. Then when they know they've got you. The girls see their true colors come out. By then the girl has already become attached. Especially if they have slept with them and they just put up with it. . That's no excuse though, and it's even more reason to wait before you have sex with someone.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I know it doesn't really affect me but I hear this time and time again. I met a couple of girls a few weeks ago and they were talking about dating. They were complaining about how they've always dated wankers and jerks but have never dated a nice guy before. Now, they're not talking about the push over sort of nice guy but a guy that would treat them well. Fact is I know plenty of confident, nice guys... It's not like there's a shortage of them. One of my girl friends was complaining about her ex-boyfriend and how he was such a dick and douchebag. She knew that from the beginning of the relationship and yet she still continued to date him... for 3 years! Then when they finally break up, she goes out with another jerk. I use to be friends with this guy who was dating one of my friends at the moment and seriously, the way he talks about her when she's not there and, the way he treats other people and even his friends... Is she blind? The story goes the same for a few other girls that are friends of mine. I really don't get it. I understand how some douchebags may be confident and ask girls out but even so, I would rather reject them and be alone then accept the treatment and be with someone who's like that. Or maybe it's just the girls in my age bracket 18-22 years old. Does it take this sort of experience to make them realise that they deserve better? When do they break out of this phase? They far too often mimic the example given to them by their fathers or their funny uncles long ago. It's just nature...
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