Neal Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 i broke up with my ex some time ago the details for which would take a damned long time to explain, anyway she was my first serious relationship and i met her in University she was 24 and i was 20 the thing is i just cant get over her, i think that i am emotionally imature because i just dont think that i have had the experience (other relationships) that other guys have had and i just cant stop thinking about her, there are days however when i look at stuff on the net about coping and that makes it better but every now and then it hurts so bad and i keep thinking what if i said something else or what if i did something or changed and even feel the need to just see her just one more time. We did talk online as friends for a while but you cant go back to being friends after experiencing what we had, i seriously thought she was the one and my soul mate and i suppose i am agreat deal still in love with her, and last night (and usually) i kept thinking about her with other men and it pissed me off, i even had a dream about her with and a friend of mine and they were laughing etc. I dont want to sound like a nut (whoops a little late eh ), i dont want to go see her incase i become a stalker type lol... and i want to salvage a lttle dignity since i already asked her out again and she said no, so what can i do, what will help to take the pain or even the love away, i thought about seeing other ppl so i went to a club but i just wasnt confident nor interested enough to approach them and if i did it would have felt like cheating and i wouldnt have therefore made a good imprecion since im totally monogamuse (spelling is terrible i know).. HELP
John1 Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 hello , Im kind of in the same boat as you.... if you go to the 2nd chances page and read my post under my username john1.... you will see we are kind of alike my ex broke up with me cos I stupidly drunkenly kissed another girl.. anyway if you want to read the full story check my post... but basically we split up 11 months ago.. and going from speaking to each other 3-4 times a day .. i have spoken to her about 10 times in 11 months... we were together for 4 years and had serious plans for the future - like moving in and getting married etc etc now she changed her number and moved out of home.. she was moving out anyway as we had planned to be moving in together... I wrote her letters every week to her family home for about 5 months nearly.. stupid i know.. but i would only do it on impulse... she said she would get the law involved if i kept sending her letters.., the last time i saw her was in a pub in january.... then last tuesday i had the day off.. i have recently got a new car and acted on impulse again by driving out to where she works.. i parked near enough...i was waiting there about 90 minutes.. i didnt know what time she finished work at... she was stunned to see me... we talked for about 45 minutes.. she said she didnt love me anymore and that we wont be getting back together... She said she would think about meeting up regularly as friends.. so the balls in her court... I used to think or maybe still do think the way ur thinking like her been with another fella and things like that.. well she told me that last guy she was with sexually was me and we split up 11 months ago.. so i dont know if that means something.. but it makes me feel better knowing she hasnt been with other guys like that.. She has told me she has moved on and i should too.. but its hard.. when you are with a person so long ( 4 years in my case ) its hard.. and even 11 months apart has not stopped me feeling differently towards rachel.. anyway.. you never said how long ye were together.. or why ye split up or how long ye are apart.. To tell you the truth I was terrified waiting in my car for 90 minutes waiting for rachel.. can you imagine what was running through my mind? so many scenarios going through my head.. i just hoped rachel wouldnt be too distant and might talk to me.. the last time we met 3 months ago.. it didnt go so well. .so didnt know what to expect.. Im not saying you pay your "ex" a visit.. if you dont do it too much then that cant be classed as stalking.. if i were you.. i would go to see her ... you have nothing to lose and everything to gain... whats the worst that can happen? she can call you a stalker and tell you to piss off and ye wont be getting back together, the other scenario been that she may think that u do deserve a 2nd chance.. i was the same way.. i was afraid of what might happen. but it didnt work out too badly.. at least we talked.. and we even had a laugh and had a few jokes... i never imagined that we would ever be laughing or joking again but we did... and you can too... its up to you.. but as i said.. i dont know why ye split up or how long ye have been apart.. but you have nothing to lose.... Good Luck
Recommended Posts