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I'm still "in love" with him, why did he fall "out of love" with me?

Kiraskrazy180

By Kiraskrazy180
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Kiraskrazy180 Member

Kiraskrazy180

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Today was probably the worse days of my life. My best friend who I love, and cherish, he was like my everything. I was simply IN LOVE with the guy, and I still am. Sadly, after two years and 6 months, he doesn't feel the same way. He's seeing other females and dating now that we have been just friends and I was devastated today when he told me that he doesn't love me that way anymore. He still cares about me, because I'm JUST a friend. Me and him went through tough and thin. He was the best boyfriend, changed my life, a casanova, and his parents loved me.

 

I lied to him today, considering he told me about all of these great girls he's dating, I told him I was also dating, just to make myself feel better. It was a lie, all I wanted was him the entire time. I feel like I've tortured myself by seeing him, because he was kissing, hugging and holding my hand, yet he kept reminding me that he's just doing this because he misses the memories, he still doesn't "feel it". I'm heartbroken and depressed. How should I deal with this? He's has a full time job, I also work and go to school, so we barely see eachother. He' probably the only guy who I ever truly loved. So this is hard to get past. He is known to be confused, but in the end, he mentioned that he doesn't deserve me.

ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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You cannot be friends with someone that you are in love with. Well, you can... but it will make it very hard for you to move on if you constantly communicate and see him. You are "torturing" yourself.

 

And does he still hold your hand and kiss you even though you are not together? That's wrong! He is using you! You need to do what is best for YOU. In this case the best thing is also going to be the hardest, you have to walk away. This doesn't end well for you if you stay.

 

And if he doesn't realize that you're still in love with him, then he is a fool. And even if he believes that you've moved on and are dating... he is still a fool for telling you about the women he is dating! Who does that?! The only intelligent thing I gathered from your post is that he said you deserve better, and he's right.

 

Hun, it's over. You have to let it go, completely. Let him go his way and you go yours. You've got a lot of living to do! It will hurt like hell and it will take a lot of time, but you will feel better one day. You will meet someone new and you will fall in love again :)

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Kiraskrazy180 Member

Kiraskrazy180

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Thanks sooo much. I know. Moving on is sooo hard. I kind of get the feeling that maybe he doesn't know how much I love him, but he has to know. He even tells me that he feels the love when I'm around him. But you're right. At this point, moving on is the best thing to do.

ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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I am not sure how old you are or how many other relationships that you've had, but what I can tell you is that you will grow separately from him and you will be fine!

 

Looking back, I remember feeling crushed when my first boyfriend and I split. I thought my life was over. That was 12 years ago (I am almost 30) and I am HAPPY I did not stay with him. I have grown so much as a person and am not interested in him one bit. It's amazing what time can do!

 

What actor do you think is the most attractive? Imagine seeing him walking down the street or meeting him at a coffee shop. Feels great, right? Butterflies and excitement! Yay! Even though you aren't going to meet that actor specifically, there are hundreds if not thousands of other guys like him out there and they are very real! Those good feelings are yours to have again! But not if you keep using your precious time and energy on Mr. Ex!

 

Be tough with yourself and go no contact with your ex. You will not only heal quicker, but you will feel so proud of yourself :)

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Kiraskrazy180 Member

Kiraskrazy180

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I'm 21, he was my first official relationship. We met in early college. I was a freshmen and he was a junior. Ever since then we were unseparate, until now. College was tough to jugle with a relationship, but I managed to stay on the deans list, after our constant choas I'm falling behind slowly, but you're right. Time will heal and I get over situations faster when I keep myself busy.

ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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Posted (edited)

You are going to be fine! And if it helps, don't rule out the fact that you and him might work things out in the future. But that would be waaaay in the future. You have to completely let go and grow (sounds like he has more growing than you to do). Accept that you have zero control over anything except yourself, and do all you can to make your life good. Get back to that good place, you don't need him or anyone to be happy. I am my happiest in a relationship, but I am ok without one. I define me! Let the chips fall where they may.

 

Keep posting on here and read other people's stories. You are not alone! :)

 

And p.s. Jake Gyllenhaal, that's my actor :)

Edited by ScienceGal
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