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Why is my BF hiding me from his parents?


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Posted

Hi,

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. He is 38. Never married, no kids. I broke up with him once because of his commitment issues. Later he admitted he was having these issues and was willing to work on them. This happened about 6 months ago. Since then, he is trying hard in relationship, doing things I know he does only to make me happy etc. Of course I know he cannot change overnight and it will take time.

 

Anyway. We both live in this huge city away from our families. We have never met each other's parents. Now, his parents have visited him in september and stayed at his apartment for 2 weeks. Before they came, he simply told me that he will not be able to see me during this period. At first I told myself it was not a big deal. But then, when the parents actually arrived, it became weird.... Like, he would make sure we do not run into each other by accident, and things like that. It was weird because we live close to each other and normally see each other almost daily. And now we just had to have this short break. By the way, I have never pushed this issue, and have never in the past 2 years asked him to introduce me to any of his family members.

 

Is this part of his fear of commitment? Or he simply does not love me enough to do it? I have never had this problem before, all my exes were happy to introduce me to their families. I don't even understand why would a man make this such an issue.

Thanks for comments. :o

Posted

That is very strange, considering you have been together for 2 years. I think he has commitment issues still. Maybe his parents would pressure him for marriage if they met you, or maybe he never told them about you....which would be odd.

A man who is invested in a relationship wants to introduce his girlfriend to his parents. This makes me think perhaps he is not invested in the relationship.

Posted

It could be all kinds of reasons; you need to ask.

 

For example he knows how his parents treated every other women he introduced them to; perhaps they treated these women very badly--if they weren't the right religion, the right social class, so he doesn't want you to face that abuse. Or it could be the opposite, that he is embarrassed about them--they dress poorly, are socially awkward, etc--that they wouldn't meet your high standards.

Posted

He isn't serious about you.

 

I once dated a man for 2 years as well, and I was in love with him at the time, but my family had no idea I was even seeing anyone. Because I knew nothing would come of it, he wasn't for me.

 

Even my last short relationship, I never introduced him to my parents because I don't want to, it's not that important.

Posted

Are you a different ethnicity/religion/race? Could he not want the hassle from his parents because of that?

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