netchannels Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 So there is this girl, and the 2 of us flirt all the time, in fact almost everyone thinks we are dating. We spoke a while ago and she told me it was not a good idea to get involved since we work together. But we contently keep flirting with each other. But there is other guy who she is friends with and flirts quite a bit with him, almost as much as she flirts with me. So I asked her if she liked him and she said she would never go out with him. These days she started telling me she is not sexually attracted to me or thinks of me that way.But her actions says other wise, almost month ago got into an argument with me saying friends are either past lovers or future lovers.Last week a friend was asking me about a girl he likes,and she comes into the convo and starts saying, to my friend if a girl likes you she would touch you like this and that, and started to demonstrate it on me. We also sexually joke about each other (but she does to her other guy friend as well). So yesterday we were hanging out and I started give her back rub knowing it would turn her on, and as I expected she was turned on, but did not stop me at all, than that guy friend for her calls her out on it and than we stop. My question is if you did not think of guy that way would not stop him? I also frequently run my hand through her, pushing it back in a very flirty way and she never stop me. She has also keeps telling me she finds me physically very attractive as well. So I don't know what's going on. Can someone help. She also tells me sometimes things like I have put a spell on her and it's after me she can trust people and tell people stuff.
carhill Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 IME, this is a normal orbiter dynamic. She'll allow you to provide her with situational attention and will facilitate that, but draws a boundary at 'dating' you. I personally wouldn't be surprised if she has a boyfriend somewhere.
Author netchannels Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 In that case can any one suggest how I can get out of the friends zone?
carhill Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 Disappear. Enjoy the attention of other women. If there is incidental contact, be cordial but not friendly. During this time, analyze the dynamic. Do some accounting. I think you'll find the results interesting, especially in how the 'friendship' was prosecuted. If the phone rings and her voice is heard, listen. Ignore any feelings of excitement that you're hearing her voice and really listen. That's her truth you're hearing. See how it goes.
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