PFPunks Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Ok, Short and sweet. My girlfriend and I are living together. We do some stuff, i'll stay real discreet here. Then after were done and having a cig. she starts babbling about this guy (customer at a hotel) at work that she had previously told me was hitting on her. I wasnt to happy about it because I dont like hearing about stuff like that when im "basking in the afterglow". However she told me that he was her age and that, after him hitting on her, she talked to him for 10 to 15 min. and convinced him that she was in love with me, and that he didnt stand a chance. Now I am generally overprotective, for whatever reason, and im not really concerned about the two of them, but she has done this before where she brings up guys when were sitting alone after having done the nasty nasty, lol. It irks me for what I think are obvious reasons. In the end she told me that the dude said she would be a great friend, which I agree with. Thats why im with her because shes incredible in every way, but weve had problems with her guy friends before and I dont like to hear about this stuff. She might as well be talking about x-boyfriends as far as im concerned, after sex. Anyways, is it possible that she wasnt thinking about this dude while she was doing me, and just feels like a sexual godess afterwards and thats why she brings up stuff like this? Input would be great. We had our little tiff about it tonight and I cant sleep when she does stuff like this so im awake and shes passed out. Im just looking for a little input wether or not im justified in telling her not to babble about guys that want to "get with her" after were done makin' love. Peace, Love, and Surf Naked AJ
SouthernRomeo Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 There seems to be one of two possible scenario's here. First one is that she's trying to get a reaction out of you. She may be looking for you to get jealous. To some people, a mate that gets jealous is a reinforcement of their commitment to you. Then again she may have a vindictive nature in that way. After sex, so many hormones are still rushing throught the body. Emotions go on roller coasters. So in this theory she might be trying to get your attention in a positive or negative way. Secondly, she might have a self worth issue and she's basking in the fact that she's made love to one man but knows there are others out there desiring her. And by telling you it's her way of outwardly expressing those feelings. As for her thinking about him while you two are making love, it is very possible. I think this one all depends on the lady in question. My advice is simply to sit her down and talk to her if you have not done so yet. Explain to her that you are very uncomfortable with her talking about other men after you have shared a private moment. Let her know how you feel. If you wish her to stop then by all means ask her. If she refuses then I'd suggest you decide if this lady is worth the time. Do you want to be with someone who loves talking about other men after she has made love to you. I'd say nip this in the bud and as I said explain your side and get her side of the story too. Then again this may simply be a phase for her and move on. But sounds to me like you need some closure. Swift action is the best route at this time.
Author PFPunks Posted May 14, 2004 Author Posted May 14, 2004 Ok...Well let me revise my statement. I think this has only happened 2 or 3 times in 8 months. It still just really seemed out of place, even though the moral of her story was that she loves me. She told the whole story in a very posotive light but that fact that she even was thinking about him after what we did screws with my head. Thanks alot Northern texas dude(sorry I cant call another guy romeo) I think I will have a brief civil discussion with her tomorrow regarding the line of thought, or origin of this little story. Always greener on the other side of the trailer park, AJ
Anonymous 15 Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 In your explanation, mention that she might also feel badly if you started blabbering about some girl that was hitting on you and was offering to sleep with you right after you guys get it on. To me, it sounds like she's the type that likes a lot of attention. She probably wanted some kind of reactin out of you and I'm sure she didn't mind that guy hitting on her. Whether she'll cheat on you though is another thing altogether. So to recap, just let her know what's up and try to help her understand by switching it around and seeing how she'd feel about things.
SouthernRomeo Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Hey great, hope you can talk it out. And you can call me SR if it helps LOL. And I agree with Anon there, definately put her in your shoes too. Sometimes it takes that simple of approach too. Good luck.
SoleMate Posted May 15, 2004 Posted May 15, 2004 is it possible that she wasnt thinking about this dude while she was doing me, and just feels like a sexual godess afterwards and thats why she brings up stuff like this? Yes, that's quite possible, and bless you for being magnanimous to even think of it. But you really should ask her to either cool it, or at least to frame it better so she is focussed on YOU. Physical intimacy is a time for the two of you to be close to each other, 1:1, just a guy and a gal. Nobody else in the room. Best is the TV stays off, too!
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