runforafall Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 9m post-BU and around 2m post-NC and she texts me last night when I was wasted (she knows how to pick her moments). I was a fool and responded. Her: Are you out tonight? Me: Yes, near work. Are you drunk? Her: Yes. Me: Go to bed x Her: I will. I still miss you every night... Me: It's complicated (in French) Her: I don't understand French when I'm drunk (paradoxically in perfect French). Skip to this morning. Me: If you want to talk about us I'm open to it, but not drunk at midnight Her: Yes you're right. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been seeing anyone else since we broke up and I desperately want her back. I guess it's a good sign she still misses me every night after all this time right? Back to NC?
EgoJoe Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Yes. You handled yourself well though. Stop referring to you and her as "us" though. The next time you talk and it comes up make a point to say "You and I". Also, do not initiate again.
Nsweet Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 You responded just fine. What strikes me about this convorsation is all the green flags. I'll list them to make things easier. 1. SHE CONTACTED YOU! 2.She contacted you about your where abouts. 3. Telling you she was drunk exposes vulnerabilities 4. She told you she missed you, could be a number of things but while completely smashed it would be harder for her to lie. 5. She busts your balls for speaking in French 6. She handed you control and apologized, again a vulnerability. Where you made the mistake was like EgoJoe said "the talk about us" and talking to her when drunk period. But beyond that you were fine but not great. What I would do in your case is keep up contact but limit it to once a week unless she contacts you. Just make sure each time you talk you can make her smile or make her feel better in some way without kissing up to her. Think of it more her being a stranger you would like to make laugh and talk with more than a painful memory. You've got some really good signs here and I would not blow things by attempting NC for too long. You may even wan't to thank her making you laugh with the text in French, then step it up by telling her that you decided to stop drinking. As a side note you really should for the entire time of NC or LC to help keep you from making any serious mistakes like begging while drunk.
Author runforafall Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) Thanks for the tips! She text again a few hours later saying "I'm sorry for not properly apologizing, i'm really sorry about last night, i know you wanted nc. You dont have to reply" Am I reading too much into things when I think as soon as someone says "you don't have to reply" they want you to do the opposite and reply? Edited October 2, 2011 by runforafall
Nsweet Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Here is exactly what you must do and say. Wait until the next day to respond...Tell her "We both need more time to cool off" Just Like This! Then ignore her rationalizing answer, she'll say something like... "Sure ok, I was going to say that anyways" It's good sign if she responds to your last message like this. It means she is attempting to appear well adjusted around you. You can now freely start NC with the comfort knowing that she was chasing you and not the other way around. Give it a month and see how you feel
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