USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 ...and of course, I don't know if she's interested in more than just friendship with me... So right now I'm in a schoolhouse setting and have been for the past three months or so. There is this girl in my class (all Marines) who sits in front of me, but we never really talked until about the past month and a half or so. She seems to really like my humor, especially during class, and I guess that's what got us talking. I've hung out with her a couple times with some mutual friends outside of class, but I've generally kept my distance and never made any move towards dating. Based on my last thread, I've been trying to keep my mind out of the dating game, but I'm really starting to like this girl but am afraid I placed myself too far into the friend zone to go anywhere with her. I seem to go back and forth on whether she'd be interested in dating, and I keep going through all the "clues" in my head and wondering. She initiated the FB friendship and is pretty active when it comes to posting or commenting on my page. About a month ago, I posted on FB that I was looking for solo trip ideas for Labor Day weekend, and she suggested that I go to the same place where she was going home to visit her parents. So I end up going and arrange to hang out with her that weekend. We go to a bar and she introduces me to some of her really close friends; a good time is had, and she offers to let me stay at her parents' house since I had had a bit to drink. Nothing happens, and I go to sleep. I meet her parents the next morning, who seemed to like me, and somehow they knew everything about me...she must have given them the inside scoop...on practically everything...her mom even friended me on FB... She has hinted on several occasions since then that we need to get together, but I never interpreted them as date-type meetings...again, the more I look back at it, the stupider I feel...anyway, I post again earlier this week asking for trip suggestions for Columbus Day weekend, and she comments that it's her birthday that weekend and wants to join in whatever I end up doing. So I decided to arrange something with a couple of our friends. She seems really excited about it. I honestly don't know...I keep doing bonehead things to dig myself further into the friendzone or make it seem like I'm not interested...today, we ended up staying late working on a project, and as I was about to leave, she asked if I was leaving. I said yes, and then I asked when she was going to leave, and she said in a few minutes, adding that she was hungry. I ended up saying good night and left. Was that an suggestion from her that I ask if she wanted to get dinner...? I'm an idiot... I feel like I'm in a tough spot...I've never asked out someone who I became friends with first...I feel like she's totally out of my league (she seriously is...), so I purposely friendzoned myself early on. And then there's the potential awkwardness if things don't work out. She has told me that she's looking for someone, presumably for a serious relationship...and at first, I didn't want to date as I'd said in my no dating for a year thread, but this girl is pretty amazing...I'm just not sure how I climb out of the friendzone with this one...do I just straight up ask her out? She is also moving to California at the same time I am...
Thierro Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I said yes, and then I asked when she was going to leave, and she said in a few minutes, adding that she was hungry. I ended up saying good night and left. Was that an suggestion from her that I ask if she wanted to get dinner...? I'm an idiot.... If I were you, I would just be blunt about it and tell her you find her attractive and kiss her. Take a bit of her hair and put it behind her ear when you want to kiss her, so you can look for an indication of interest. Take it very slowly so that she has time to back out. Do what YOU want. If she doesn't want to kiss you back she will let you know. Don't get weirded out, hold your posture. Be confident about what you want and where you want to take this relationship. It isn't a big deal if she doesn't want kiss you.
Cracker Jack Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) I honestly think she likes you, but in situations like this, you can never be too sure. Her constantly wanting to hang-out with you is a good sign. If you're really into her, I think it's best if you make it clear sooner rather than later. You really don't want to be feeling regret for not giving yourself a fighting chance in this situation. Forget the potential awkwardness. And she's not out of your league. Quit that way of thinking, dude. You're a cool, intelligent, nice looking guy. You're on her level. Give it a try. Edited October 1, 2011 by Cracker Jack
Author USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 If I were you, I would just be blunt about it and tell her you find her attractive and kiss her. Take a bit of her hair and put it behind her ear when you want to kiss her, so you can look for an indication of interest. Take it very slowly so that she has time to back out. Do what YOU want. If she doesn't want to kiss you back she will let you know. Don't get weirded out, hold your posture. Be confident about what you want and where you want to take this relationship. It isn't a big deal if she doesn't want kiss you. Ahahahah. Yes, that's exactly how I feel...she either thinks I'm not interested or that I'm socially retarded...I've talked to her roommate, who is also one of my good friends in the class, and he said she likes confidence... Another issue is that females tend to get a lot of attention from guys...and I have tried not to be one of those guys who hangs around hoping she'll go out with me...because I absolutely refuse to be in the friendzone like that...that's why I've sort of kept my distance with her...I don't want to be used for attention...
jennifer4 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I think that was a hint that you should ask her to dinner. I do also think you're overthinking it a bit. Obviously she likes you. I would never let a guy spend the night at my parents place if I didn't like him. i think she's wanting you to take more of an initiative though. Just do it : ) good luck!
Author USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 I think that was a hint that you should ask her to dinner. I do also think you're overthinking it a bit. Obviously she likes you. I would never let a guy spend the night at my parents place if I didn't like him. i think she's wanting you to take more of an initiative though. Just do it : ) good luck! Well, she's a Marine too, so she treats a lot of the guys as buddies...so I interpreted her offer as helping a buddy out and letting him crash at her place...but what was unusual was how much she told her parents about me...
Cee Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 This is your chance to break the cycle of devaluing yourself and not taking the initiative. There is nothing you can lose by asking her out. Whatever the outcome, you have broken your pattern of recent inaction and you can give yourself a pat on the back. I have a phobia of flying, but I have family and friends in faraway places that I hadn't seen in a decade. One day, I was sick of it all and impulsively booked a short flight. It cost a ton of money, but while I was in the air, I started to cry. A whole new world of adventure was opened to me. Including a trip to California to reunite with my deceased father's family. My tangential story is to say that some of us have debilitating fears. The simple act of confronting that fear will open up new possibilities for you, ones you never knew possible. You must ask her out. Not only to have a chance with her, but to access your true power and freedom. To get out of your self-imposed cage, all you have to do is what you know needs to be done. There's my pep talk. I wish you the best. This is an exciting development.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 I honestly think she likes you, but in situations like this, you can never be too sure. Her constantly wanting to hang-out with you is a good sign. If you're really into her, I think it's best if you make it clear sooner rather than later. You really don't want to be feeling regret for not giving yourself a fighting chance in this situation. Forget the potential awkwardness. And she's not out of your league. Quit that way of thinking, dude. You're a cool, intelligent, nice looking guy. You're on her level. Give it a try. Yea, you're probably right...but she is by far the most attractive girl I've ever wanted to date...just not used to it I guess...
jennifer4 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 You have the answers, so I say stop over thinking. I tend to do that alot. Just go with your gut. I think you may miss your chance if you don't act soon. Just saying.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 You have the answers, so I say stop over thinking. I tend to do that alot. Just go with your gut. I think you may miss your chance if you don't act soon. Just saying. I know...I guess I am just looking for those blatantly obvious signs of interest to avoid a potentially awkward situation...and hence I came here to verify said signs...damn overthinking...
Casablanca Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 So you both are moving to California...same area or no idea? Also is it okay to date within the Marines? I have no idea...
Author USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 So you both are moving to California...same area or no idea? Also is it okay to date within the Marines? I have no idea... About 3 hours apart...and yes, we are both officers so we could date...
Cee Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 No help in overthinking her obvious interest in you. How about you get your game plan together about when and how you will ask her out?
Casablanca Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 About 3 hours apart...and yes, we are both officers so we could date... If it progressed to something serious, would you be able to handle the distance?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 You will seriously kick yourself in the ass forever after if you don't find out if there could be something with her. The potential discomfort with finding out the attraction is not mutual is well worth the savings of regret. Don't drop the ball again. That's an order.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Well I'm going on a trip with her and a friend of ours for her bday this weekend and I decided I have to make a move this weekend...not sure what kind of move, but I have to let her know how I feel...there's been enough p*ssyfooting around...and if she's not on the same page and things turn awkward, then that's fine, I'm the king of awkward...I'm realizing this girl is worth the chance of failure and its consequences...
Cracker Jack Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Glad you decided to take a chance here and not let the potential outcome stop you from trying. Be straightforward with her. If she rejects you, then at least you'll know you gave it a try. I doubt there's going to be a rejection here, anyway. You got this, Hokie.
Thierro Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 I'd suggest slipping her a note with the following text; 'I would like to have a dance with you tonight. *time* *place*. I don't want us to talk, I just want to enjoy your company for a moment in private.’ You could also just grab her hand and go somewhere. Don't answer any questions, just do. Dance with her and kiss her. If she declines; stay confident. I wish you all the best this weekend. You are going to feel nervous, but I promise the shot of adrenaline you'll get will be rewarding.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Glad you decided to take a chance here and not let the potential outcome stop you from trying. Be straightforward with her. If she rejects you, then at least you'll know you gave it a try. I doubt there's going to be a rejection here, anyway. You got this, Hokie. Thanks brother. You've always been there, so I appreciate your support. But you're right, if she rejects me, nothing changes and life goes on.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 I'd suggest slipping her a note with the following text; 'I would like to have a dance with you tonight. *time* *place*. I don't want us to talk, I just want to enjoy your company for a moment in private.’ You could also just grab her hand and go somewhere. Don't answer any questions, just do. Dance with her and kiss her. If she declines; stay confident. I wish you all the best this weekend. You are going to feel nervous, but I promise the shot of adrenaline you'll get will be rewarding. Thanks. And I'm just going to do..no words...dance and kiss...or just kiss...I'll assume that nonverbal communication will be relatively clear...making the jump from friends seems to favor the direct approach...
SteveC80 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Good luck hope it works out but i usually dont shyt where i eat
Author USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2011 Author Posted October 7, 2011 Good luck hope it works out but i usually dont shyt where i eat Neither do I...this will be the first time I've tried...but thanks.
tman666 Posted October 7, 2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Best of luck brotha! Not that you'll need it. It sounds like she digs you.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 8, 2011 Author Posted October 8, 2011 So tonight I was hanging out with some work friends and her, and I have definitely lost all interest in her...she's just not someone I would want to date. And I feel pretty good about it.
Cracker Jack Posted October 8, 2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Well, that was a quick change. What did she do to change your opinion on her?
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