ashleysun Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Hey all! I haven't written about my ex boyfriend in a VERY long time (I think OCT was when I last did). We were together for 3 years, for the first year and a half it was long distance, he was in the military and overseas for the first 9 months, then he was stationed a good distance away from me. After getting out of the military, he moved in with me. We lived together for 1.5 years before he abruptly ended things. He ended up moving about 800 miles away and when he left, we did not leave on good terms, I had no contact with him whatsoever for over a year. Last week, I got a text from a good friend, stating he had emailed her apologizing for how rude he had been to her and that he had tried texting me but apparently I didn't want to talk to him - I had changed my # (he didn't have the new one obviously). I told her that it was okay to give him my #, so he texted me a heartfelt apology, which I accepted. Talking to him has brought back many buried feelings I have tried suppressing for a long long time. We texted off/on for a few days, he told me that he missed us. That he was also upset when he moved. Wondered if he walked away from something meant to be. You can probably imagine it all.... The issue at hand, is not necessarily that he moved away. He has a new girlfriend that I suspect he lives with. I'm unsure of what his intentions are, was it just to apologize? Was it to see if I would give him another chance? I don't want to straight up ask him this, I think that could make things awkward.... He knows I'll always care for him, I have told him time and time again. I haven't been texting him first, I just don't want to think I'm annoying or trying my darndest to win him back. Every once in awhile he'll text me to let me know he's been thinking of me. Can anybody tell me what he may be wanting? What should I do? I'm not opposed to giving us a second try (he needs to decide if he wants me or his gf though....I suspect things probably aren't good....). I just don't want to limit my options if I don't know where his head and heart are....
TLCbear Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Shouldn't matter what he wants with you, he has a girlfriend, it he truly wanted to be with you, he would be. I say stay away, before you get hurt all over again.
Jaina19 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I would say stay away... if he does want you back, or is just looking for a way out of his current relationship, isn't he being very disrespectful to his gf? The right thing to do would be to end his relationship before pursuing you. Not finding out if your available before he makes a move. Be careful, he may treat you the same in the end. I think you should ask him what his intentions are, then you'll know, and it's possible he just wants to remain in contact with no intention of getting back together. What does he usually say in the texts he initiates?
Nsweet Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Ignore the usless and blatent advice and listen to a Navy veteran instead. I recognize exaclty what he went through after leaving the service which could have been the root of all yours and his relationship problems. Common sense may tell you to give up and move on but in issues of the heart common sense is wrong. What will cutting him out of your life accomplish if you do deeply desire him back? It's obvious his gf may just be a rebound or destened to end soon if he is reconsidering your relationship, as in texting you again. Instead I strongly advise you to improve your friendship with him but hold off on telling him your feelings or else he may drop you quick. You can get closer to him if you accept his friendship and bid your time until they break up without so much as a negative comment about her. In fact you telling him how lovely she sounds and reassuring him will have a reverse psychological effect which displays non neediness. Just remember to start things up slowly and controlled and stay wonderful. After all that he and his new gf go though it is you and he who had years of loving compassion together.
TLCbear Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 OP, listen to Nsweet and you will find yourself with a broken heart all over again. Regardless of whether this girl is a rebound or not, it really doesn't matter, if this guy wanted to be with you he would have reached out to you wayyy before this...I'm pretty sure your life had not change that drastically within a year that he could not contact you in some way. This is about respect, respecting the fact that this guy has a girlfriend....because you and I both know you are not wanting to be just friends with him. I say once again let it be. He texted to apologize, let it at that.
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