red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 This guy I just met online and on 2 short dates went out of the country on a business trip. He hasn't communicated since even though he said we'll do something when he gets back. I know there was nothing serious here or anything established yet and he doesn't owe me anything. But why wouldn't a guy that "professed" his interest not at least try to contact me while he was away?
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 I forgot one crucial question: is he leading me on?
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 How long is he away for? Around two weeks. How does that come into play?
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Loss of momentum, something/someone else came up, etc. Myriad of reasons. If you want to, you could always contact him and ask him if he had a good trip. Otherwise, let it go and pursue other options.
Fondue Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 This guy I just met online and on 2 short dates went out of the country on a business trip. He hasn't communicated since even though he said we'll do something when he gets back. I know there was nothing serious here or anything established yet and he doesn't owe me anything. But why wouldn't a guy that "professed" his interest not at least try to contact me while he was away? You answered your own question. You guys JUST met, went on two short dates, it wasn't serious, but he did tell you that you'll catch up when he gets back. Don't stress it.
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 You answered your own question. You guys JUST met, went on two short dates, it wasn't serious, but he did tell you that you'll catch up when he gets back. Don't stress it. Really? I know I'm neurotic here but he was a lot more communicative before so I'm not sure it's just because of the trip.
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Really? I know I'm neurotic here but he was a lot more communicative before so I'm not sure it's just because of the trip. Maybe he doesn't have a phone plan that includes international calls. It could be as simple as that. Or maybe since it's not serious yet, he doesn't feel the need to talk to you while he's away. Wait until he comes back and if he's not calling or whatever, then you know he's not interested.
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 Maybe he doesn't have a phone plan that includes international calls. It could be as simple as that. Or maybe since it's not serious yet, he doesn't feel the need to talk to you while he's away. Wait until he comes back and if he's not calling or whatever, then you know he's not interested. I'm not going to sweat it anymore and heed you guys' advice. I'll just date other men. Though there's always the email besides a phone plan.
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I'm not going to sweat it anymore and heed you guys' advice. I'll just date other men. Though there's always the email besides a phone plan. Does he have your email address?
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 Does he have your email address? He does. He's sent me quite a few emails before his trip.
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 He does. He's sent me quite a few emails before his trip. Oh ok, well then I don't know. Maybe since it's not that serious yet, he doesn't feel the need to communicate while away. I would just keep him in mind, but maybe date other people at this point.
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 Oh ok, well then I don't know. Maybe since it's not that serious yet, he doesn't feel the need to communicate while away. I would just keep him in mind, but maybe date other people at this point. I'm just not impressed at this point. I can't expect a lot since it's not serious but for someone that says all that he said, it's surprising he hasn't shown an equal amount of effort. I just base it on logic. For someone that wants to be a lawyer, he'll study 24/7 just to get through the bar. For someone that wants that expensive bag in the window, she would work more shifts or take on more jobs. It's that simple. So I can only think that he doesn't want it as much as he thinks or says he does. Where are the other men now?
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I'm just not impressed at this point. I can't expect a lot since it's not serious but for someone that says all that he said, it's surprising he hasn't shown an equal amount of effort. I just base it on logic. For someone that wants to be a lawyer, he'll study 24/7 just to get through the bar. For someone that wants that expensive bag in the window, she would work more shifts or take on more jobs. It's that simple. So I can only think that he doesn't want it as much as he thinks or says he does. Where are the other men now? Men can be real @ssholes. A lot of times they tell you what you want to hear to get in your pants or for other reasons. Have you slept with him yet?
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 Men can be real @ssholes. A lot of times they tell you what you want to hear to get in your pants or for other reasons. Have you slept with him yet? Not yet. And probably not now. He was actually convincing. I believed him for a while.
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Not yet. And probably not now. He was actually convincing. I believed him for a while. Yeah some of them are pros at being smooth and convincing women they are good guys and interested in them. He could still be interested, but like I said before, since you only went on 2 dates, he doesn't feel that it's that serious yet. I would just see what happens when he comes back.
Frogwife Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 How is "@sshole" even coming up in this thread? What has this guy done other than go on a couple of dates with you, go on a business trip and say he'll see you when he gets back? Good grief - that's a lot of intensity/worry/analysis for someone you *barely* know. Just let the guy do as he said he would - contact you when he gets back. If he does, great. If he doesn't, move on.
Author red shoes Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 How is "@sshole" even coming up in this thread? What has this guy done other than go on a couple of dates with you, go on a business trip and say he'll see you when he gets back? Good grief - that's a lot of intensity/worry/analysis for someone you *barely* know. Just let the guy do as he said he would - contact you when he gets back. If he does, great. If he doesn't, move on. Actually he didn't say specifically he would contact me when he gets back. Like I said, I would date other men. He can choose to contact me or not after his trip.
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 How is "@sshole" even coming up in this thread? What has this guy done other than go on a couple of dates with you, go on a business trip and say he'll see you when he gets back? Good grief - that's a lot of intensity/worry/analysis for someone you *barely* know. Just let the guy do as he said he would - contact you when he gets back. If he does, great. If he doesn't, move on. I didn't say the guy was an @sshole, I said some guys are. I agree that she needs to just wait until he comes back and see what happens. No one was calling him an @sshole.
Fondue Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Actually he didn't say specifically he would contact me when he gets back. Like I said, I would date other men. He can choose to contact me or not after his trip. What the other poster meant is that you already jumped to conclusions and decided on this guy. In your eyes, he's no longer potential. Without even hearing from him, from his side, you dismissed him. This is incredibly short-sighted. I don't know what it is with women, but some of you over analyze things way too much. And hell, you over analyze them to the point where everything becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The dude no longer has any point in contacting you. You are already rejecting him by rationalizing his non-contact with you as being some kind of womanizer. Stop creating drama where there isn't any.
Author red shoes Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 What the other poster meant is that you already jumped to conclusions and decided on this guy. In your eyes, he's no longer potential. Without even hearing from him, from his side, you dismissed him. This is incredibly short-sighted. I don't know what it is with women, but some of you over analyze things way too much. And hell, you over analyze them to the point where everything becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The dude no longer has any point in contacting you. You are already rejecting him by rationalizing his non-contact with you as being some kind of womanizer. Stop creating drama where there isn't any. I never rationalized his non-contact as him being a womanizer. It only showed lack of interest though I get it since he didn't owe me anything.
2sunny Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 doesn't look like he promised to contact you while away. wait and see if he contacts when he returns = that is what he SAID you should expect of him.
Author red shoes Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 doesn't look like he promised to contact you while away. wait and see if he contacts when he returns = that is what he SAID you should expect of him. That's the only thing I can do. Even though I wonder why he couldn't just drop me a line.
Author red shoes Posted October 5, 2011 Author Posted October 5, 2011 The thread on "he's just not that into you" reminded me of the whole he's just not that into me. And the other thread asking how many of us go after people we like again reminded me of how when someone's interested, he/she will show that. When a relationship works, there's no "does he/she like me or doesn't he/she?" It just works.
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