mike588 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Hello from Dumpessville: As I read so many threads here I notice that so many of us (not me) are dealing with an ex. contacting us dumpees wanting to hang on, throwing out breadcrumbs, checking up on us etc. etc. I realize now that I should be happy about my ex. g/f NOT doing any of that towards me because we all know that it delays the healing, reopens the wound and so on but I gotta admit,,, I'm alittle jealous (ha)but know now it's actually a blessing! I'm only 2 months into being dumped and 6 weeks into N.C.,,, when do I get my call/text?? LOL!! Lately I've often wished she would contact me so I could tell her where to go!! but as time goes on I hope she doesn't! I've come so far in a short amount of time thanks to N.C. and don't to take a step back. I too was so very tempted to make contact with her but thanks to so many of you (especially Mack05 and M2155) I did'nt and it has truely helped the healing process and also will help you!! Alot of us still fight hard with the desire to break N.C. or break it by answering the phone, responding to emails/texts etc. DON'T DO IT! Oh, for the few of you, ha who don't know my story,,, my ex dumped me for her ex.
jenjen83 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I felt the same at one point...hoping for the contact from the ex but as you said it really is for the best that they haven't as it would only open up old scars.
coltsfan1 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 jen is right you have to just gut it out. Try and do something different, I read a post earlier and someone said the more out of your comfort zone the better and I believe this is true.
Surfer Girl Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 There may come a day where she will break NC.... It happened to me... once the other person breaks up... They think about you...
leoc1973 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Here is the funny thing. you are the other guy... the rebound I guess. Most of us sit here and hate that guy. Feeling like somehow its his fault we are not together. I guess its nice to hear from that side and think that those rebounds have feelings too and didn't get with our ex's to hurt us but because they were probably looking for love just like all of us. After reading your story I really do feel for you and I guess its most of the time circumstances are to blame. Not our ex not the other guy not ourselves but people who are just not compatible and even tho it hurts I guess these are the stepping stones to our final love and the one we will grow old with. Well except for those damaged beyond repair who will never be happy.
Author mike588 Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 Yea I had a very short period of hating him but then,, it's not his fault. Hopefully it was meant to be to find the right one and I actually feel alittle sorry for both of them espically it's since it's their 3rd time back together.
TheDovic Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Dumpers really piss me off!!! Good for you being so strong though dude
brokenheartedinaz Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I know how you feel....i wish he would contact me too just so I could feel like he misses me enough. I'm so silly though, I told him not to contact me, put him straight to vm in case he calls, and blacklisted his text messages, yet keep checking my blacklist to see if he messaged me. errrrr! I torture myself.
lonelynyc Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I'm only 2 months into being dumped and 6 weeks into N.C.,,, when do I get my call/text?? LOL!! Consider yourself lucky. Whatever your ex did to you, she couldn't be an irredeemable person, because at least she's cared enough about your heart to shield you from the **** she's been up to since. She never strung you along, or told you things that you'll never be able to forget about the new guy(s) she's taken up with. I was fine during NC, honestly. I ate well, I took care of myself, I was even optimistic. Ever since she broke it I have been in pain. The end of my relationship is not why I will be attending therapy. It's the end of NC that really did it.
betterdeal Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Maybe they're adhering to NC too for much the same reasons as you are i.e. because it is over and they need space and time to settle, find calm, peace &c. Ultimately, we are all looking for ways to find our own peace and happiness. Let the anger, sorrow, fear, hurt out and create room for love, happiness, confidence back in.
MIK1000 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I know how you feel mate. You're better off not hearing from her though. Almost two weeks ago I got a drunken text at two o clock in the morning saying "Hi, How are you? x" and although I didn't respond to it (I replied "fine thanks") I still got a kick out of it and thought it was her beginning to miss me and want me that. Then I heard through the grape vine that only four days later her new Long distance BF (whom she dumped me for while away working at that american kids summer camp) was up staying with her and her family for the weekend. It really hurt me and set me back to square one for a few days, had I not had that text from her earlier in the week it would haven't been any where near as much of a shock and wouldn't have hurt really. Now I sit and wait for further bread crumbs, to get more signs that she's going to come running back and some more breadcrums may come a long the way but it's not pleasent to be constantly on edge every time my phone goes.
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