FeelingSmall Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I can't believe how stupid I am. Not only did I allow the d-bag to continue staying with me after I told him to be out but I trusted him to at least keep the promise he made to stay away from that girl BUT I also just sent him this email that I'm sure did nothing but stroke his ego and make me look insane. He was still sleeping in my damn bed. Though, nothing was happening there other than Zzzz's. We had a big talk one night and I asked him if he was looking for another place to stay and he said that he hadn't been actively. Ok, well seriously, if you're going to leave me YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME. We fought, I cried some more he hugged and held me and told me he loved me and that bull. He cried. The next damn day he's really late coming home and I went for a walk to burn off nervous energy, well as I was about to walk out the door I see this car slowly drive by my bldg and pull off on a side street. He was getting out of her car. I was nothing but a joke to him. I wasn't hurt at the moment I was just shaking with anger. He came to the door and looked completely shocked to see me there. I asked him who dropped him off around the corner and he looked like he was going to crap his pants. I told him to give me my keys and get the f*** out. He wanted to get his stuff so I led him upstairs and quickly started throwing his stuff in garbage bags and telling him off the whole time. Anyway end result is he's gone. For real and for good. He never cared about me. He and all his friends are probably sitting around laughing about me right this second. What bothered me the most was while packing his stuff he looked like HE was angry at ME. Like I should not be upset by any of this, as if I should just welcome him with open arms and more begging. He called a cab once all his stuff was ready stared at me for a minute then walked out. He still has stuff left here and I sent him an email telling him to get it or lose it. He replied saying he was too busy until MAYBE Sunday. Give me a break. More head games. As if you couldn't work in 5 minutes to get the rest of your garbage out of here so I can breathe again. Rotten piece of human garbage. I wish I didn't feel as heartbroken as I do. I don't know why I still love him but, I do. I also hate him too. When will this end???
wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Throw it away after sunday. I am serious. Not your fault hes too busy Just get rid of it and be done with it
Dark Phoenix Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 .... sorry, reminded me of this song I listened to a lot right after my breakup. Nobody can tell you when it will end. The time frame for each phase of healing is different for everyone, just like the way everyone copes is different. The only thing we can really promise you is that it will get better with time and self discipline.
geegirl Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Of course he was angry. He got caught and the game is over for him . Can't get the luxury of having two women at his feet anymore. You saw his true colors and he's mad you finally smell his stink. That's why he is mad. He can't pull the wool over your eyes anymore. They can be the biggest scumbags but the love will be there because you're attached. In time, you will let him go. The good thing is this time you sent him packing. You see him and the reality of the situation. Now, you need to hold on to that and keep moving forward. The pain will be there. But you have to barrel through. There is no other way around it. Well, there is, and that is to go back to the douchebag.
Author FeelingSmall Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 Thanks guys... Barrelling through here. I haven't thrown his things out, I think I could actually get in trouble for that, empty threat... He's going to come get his things Tuesday after he gets off work. I'm leaving them outside the building for him and won't be present when he gets them. He's getting off on this. Makes me sick. He told me today that he couldn't get his things because he hadn't heard back from someone he was "supposed to meet up with" I didn't let him know but, I had called him three or four times earlier trying to find out when the hell he would get his crap outta here and his phone was turned off all day. That's funny because how exactly is someone supposed to get a hold of you when you have your only means of communication turned off??? And the games continue.... I figure he wants to give me more time to cool down as I had sent him some vicious emails. Or he's scared of showing up to find a large man waiting for him. Or more likely, he's just enjoying playing with my head a little more before he finally throws away his old toy for good. At least I have not made myself look any crazier by sending more emails. Yay me.
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