married man came back twice to me how can I hold on for good and is it real?

[second place n.y.]

Hi evryone,

I need some advice. I met my mm 14 yrs ago while he was married to his first wife.

They divorced finally but I wasn't the chosen one he married because of my past and trust issues we had.

He was married 6 yrs to her when he decided to come back into my life again to try to make things right he told me.

I'm confused on whats right and how i feel for him. I want to be with him but I feel so used right now. things were much better before sexually but now I call him minute man ,when we are together he is done before I'm ready for him! A b.j about 30secs- 1 min.

I have alot of anger from him choosing a friend of his ex's and not me and I'm trying to get past that now that we are back together.

I missed him so much before and wanted him back for 5 yrs then got him back I want to keep him,and not lose him again. Any advice how to keep him?

 

Should I be angry he only calls once a week and I only see him about every couple months now. Miss our weekly visits to maybe we'll get that back too.

I also feel I'm competing with the 2nd wife and I'm not as sensual as her maybe.

 

He always told my friend I was wild in bed.

 

I want to keep him and at this point don't care what happens as long as he's in my life.

I told him how unfair this was and he said he know's what I mean.

 

Doe's he love me do you think? anyone had a afair twice with the same married man?

How can I be there for him and is it fair to feel not loved even though he told me when we split up he did have feelings for me . I was hurt waited 7 yrs to hear that and he said it after it was to late ,now i'm trying to do what I should have done then, not what i did

lets just say it was almost stalking on my part then. NOW IV'E GROWN UP!!!!

any one who has any advice please help seeing him over next few days

I did test him-told him if I said no -he'd just go call some one else. he said that wasn't ,but never finished answering it. loved him for 14 yrs and never did stop even when not together

for the 6 yrs .

 

He doeas have 2 children one from each marrriage and lots of controlling problems form his ex wife.

 

His wife does know me but dosen't know we are talking again but would like to have me arrested for stalking even though it's nothing like that this time .

she gets upset every time she see's me even out in a public spot ,she's tracking my movements lately and keeping track of how often she runs into me whether with him or not

I have chidren my self and I know in my heart I can't get over him !

 

What can I do -please love him and want to be there no matter what.

[Shindig]

He seems to have commitment issues... BIG ONES. If he can't commit to his first wife, or his second one, how is he going to commit to you? You need to find a man who loves you and only you, who doesn't upset you by not calling, and who appreciates you for the beautiful flower that you are. Move on before you get hurt worse than before. Good luck.

[second place n.y]

thank you for your comments I'm thinking of breaking it off for awhile if I do maybe he'll know where his heart is. sick of living his double life.

 

 

Any other advice from anyone else out there?

[jmargel]

He's using you.. He's been using you for years. Trust me, this guy will not change. Even if you ever 'did' get him, how can you be sure he's not going to cheat on you? He is NOT trustworthy. Move on to someone better.

[StrugglinginGA]

I think you seriously need to consider more people than you and him because this is and will affect far more people than the two of you.. Hello, lady, he's married!!! Does that not mean anything to you? It obviously doesn't to him.... sometimes you have to choose the right thing.... even if it might not be the easy thing. Could you think outside of yourself and your bedroom for once???? God, it's not just your life... it's other people's too.

[second place]

thank you all for your advice and now I'm taking it and ignoring his calls. he wants to get

together memorial day weekend but I'm going away and with the price of gas not coming down to see him why it would be for him to bust a nut then leave .

 

alot was hard to hear but I know you are all telling me what i already know . wish I could stop m y heart from loving him as much as I do.