lostlandscaper Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Hi all. I'm new to the site and just enjoy all the useful information I have read. Lets see me and my ex gf were living together for 3 years.( I moved into her house after a month of dating.) After a good relationship for 3 years she wanted a break all of the sudden. She explains her reasons as me not appreciating her and not enough affection. Also she said I did not help out enough around the house. I agreed to the things that I have done wrong and told her I would fix the problems. She did not want to hear it. She also told me that I wasn't as attractive to her as I used to be. She told me that she loved me but couldn't be with me right now. After pleading and begging for 3 days to no avail I gave up and went NC for a week until I could move my stuff out. Moving day came and her decision did not change. I am heartbroken. I love this girl to death and I know she loves me too We had a nice get together 2 days later. Just chatting and laughing.no relationship talk. The next night I called her. She asked why are you calling and I don't want to get your hopes up. I had a little small talk then said goodbye. Every part of this break up has been civil since I understand the pain I have caused her. I have been NC now for 10 days and I am hurting. Do I have any options here? I truly love this girl and I know I could fix things. She is 28 and I'm 27 Ant help would be greatly appreciated. On the day I moved out I promised her I would keep cutting her grass. Should I keep my promise? I know she has no way of doing it herself. Could this show that I appreciate her and respect her? Or just cause more pain for me? Since NC I looked at her fb page and it appears she is having the time of her life going to ball games and concerts and getting a tattoo which reads " living the dash".she told mebefore NC that she needed her space so I am giving it to her. That's why I do not know if I should cut her grass. There is more to the story but I am typing it out on my Droid. Thank you!
wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Absolutely not, don't do anything for her. Stick to NC and start moving on with your own life. You have to. Its a necessity. I am not going to lie, its tough. I am having a hard time right now coping with bread crumbs that my ex is leaving me but you have to be the stronger person. You should read the GIGS link in my signature followed by the "I am no longer attracted to you" link. This should help give you an understanding of what you are going through. It hurts, its tough and I am sorry but feel free to ask any more questions in any of the threads Good Luck
Rorschach64 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Been in a similar situation, sounds a bit like GIGs because honestly that sounds very bullcrappy to me. I had the direct opposite happen to me apparently I was too accomidating to my ex-fiancee and she wanted to go on a break because of the lack of attraction and falsly accused me of cheating later on. Anyway, doesn't matter what she is doing with her life, it isn't your problem, and you know what DO NOT cut the grass. Why? Because it makes you look weak and she can just use you as she sees fit aka you're a doormat. Just tell her that you can't do it because of other obligations, simple, clean, and polite. You may sit here and think to yourself, oh if I can just show her how awesome I am she will change her mind! Wrong, she will only change her mind on her own and actually making an attempt to see it, any other attempt will just ...well you get it man up and go NC. It will suck but it gets better, I am 4 months NC and I am suffering mixtures of not caring/anger at this point.
Author lostlandscaper Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 The thing is truly feel I am to blame for the demise of this relationship. She said she isn't seeing anybody else(before NC). and has made no attempts whatsoever to. Get in touch with me since the split. I know I just gotta man up and quit being a b***h but I'm hurtin
Author lostlandscaper Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 She is also a notorious "relationship jumper"
mike588 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Hummmm, not enough affection and not doing things around the house is why she wanted to breakup with you? Probably more to it than that. I showed my ex g/f lots of affection and helped around the house, sh*t I even landscaped her whole yard and she still left. Follow the others advise here,DO NOT mow her yard and go No Contact!!
norajane Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Lets see me and my ex gf were living together for 3 years.( I moved into her house after a month of dating.) In my opinion, this is what killed your relationship. Living together as though you are married right away? Yeesh. Too much, too soon. Living together is hard work. Unless you have already committed to each other, why do the hard work? Keep the relationship fun and interesting, you know, DATING. You moved straight into HARD and, ultimately, hit the dull and boring trough. Once you know you are committed to each other, THEN live together if you must. Once you've committed to working things out when they get hard, dull or boring.
antz2411 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 On the day I moved out I promised her I would keep cutting her grass. haha are you serious man?
rubberball Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 No way on the grass. My ex made me promise to be in her daughters life should we break up. I tried for a whie for the daughters sake but since my break my ex has acted like she never said that. She is also a relationship jumper. She moved on and she seeing some new guy, I guess she thinks bringing men into and out of her daughters life is the right call for now.
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