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Would you take your ex back if they asked for another chance?

abuckeyeleaf

By abuckeyeleaf
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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abuckeyeleaf Member

abuckeyeleaf

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Say your ex shows up wanting to come back. What would you do/say? Would you give them another chance?

Rorschach64 Established Member

Rorschach64

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After now coming to the conclusion that my ex-fiancee not only didn't care about my feelings or me spending 4,000 USD to go see her, but she disrespected my Mother's and deceased Father's marraige when my mother tried to reason with her bs decision using her marraige of 20 years as an example you don't give up when things get hard. Mind you, my mother took upon herself to talk to my ex, not me :p

 

So...I am leaning towards hell no.

antz2411 Established Member

antz2411

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if she got on her knees and begged, yes i would in an instant!

Cowboy1015 Member

Cowboy1015

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It depends. If I still love her and she explains to me why she left me. I'd tell her maybe to take things slowly and see where it's going to.

mike588 Established Member

mike588

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Depends, If she cheated,no. If was just small stuff, most likely.

Beachgirl8 Established Member

Beachgirl8

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I'd rather set fire to my own head

aerogurl87 Established Member

aerogurl87

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I'd rather set fire to my own head

 

 

I'd have to actually spend time with my ex before coming to a decision on that one. It's been 2 years since we were in the same room, let alone the same city. But if the chemistry was anything like it was before, then I'd probably be inclined to say yes.

Kageytn Established Member

Kageytn

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I believe my friends, family and some here would absolutely be devastated if I did.

 

He wont change. He won't apologize.

 

No, no, no!

january2011 Established Member

january2011

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No, too much water under the bridge.

antz2411 Established Member

antz2411

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i'd rather set fire to my own head

 

!!!bravo!!

smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

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She's changed so much from the person I met and fell in love with.

 

That said, I still love that person she was and so if she turned up and made every effort to re-start things, I'd have to be very strong willed to say no... but I like to think I would be able to do the right thing and simply say: "sorry, but I love the person you were, not the person you've become."

 

And that would be that.

 

With that said, I know how hard it would be for so many of us to turn down a loved one, so I wouldn't criticise anyone for doing it. I'd just hope they knew what they were getting in to. I hate to see it when people take their dumpers back (I've never done it once) and then that dumper just loses all respect and continues to treat them like dirt.

jenjen83 Established Member

jenjen83

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My ex never did anything that bad to warrant a straight no from me. However I'd need a guarantee that he wouldn't ''need space'' from me again and I know he wouldn't be able to give me that.

 

So I'd have to protect myself and say no.

ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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I'd put myself through hell for someone I love, whether it be a friend, family member, or a guy. For that reason, I hope he never comes back. He doesn't deserve love and devotion like mine.

Rorschach64 Established Member

Rorschach64

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I'd put myself through hell for someone I love, whether it be a friend, family member, or a guy. For that reason, I hope he never comes back. He doesn't deserve love and devotion like mine.

 

 

Treat someone as you wish to be treated, I am still saying hell no even if she begs and cries and all that.

The_Good_Me Established Member

The_Good_Me

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My ex-fiance is my first and only love. We were together for 10 years and I have such wonderful memories of her. I am still very much in love with her and I can't see those feelings going away any time in the near future.

 

I would not take her back on those facts alone though. It would depend on a lot of factors such as...

  • The reason for dumping me in the first place
  • Am I ready to forgive her for dumping me
  • What she has done since the break up
  • Am I ready to forgive what she has done since the break up
  • How she felt about me during our time apart
  • The reason why she came back to me
  • Can she honestly say she is back in love with me
  • Can she honestly say she finds me attractive
  • Can she honestly say she sees a solid future for us both
  • Does she understand that if we were to have another go, it would take me a long time to trust her again and the road would be hard for us both!

I cannot say for sure if I would take her back even if all of the above and more were answered in the most perfect way. At the end of the day I would have to see how I felt at the time as time changes everything. It would also depend on if I believed her.

 

I can say for sure though that I would give her the time of day to discuss everything even if it meant bringing me pain. I simply would need to know everything if I got the chance because if I turned it down, "what if's" would kick in and they can be just as dangerous as the real thing if not more dangerous. Besides, I've loved her for over 10 years and even though she has thrown away her feelings towards me, I haven't towards her! Even if I reached indifference towards her, I would still allow her to say anything she wished to say to me. I wouldn't owe her it, I would just give her that for free.

radiodarcy Established Member

radiodarcy

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i can honestly say that i wouldn't. not as a friends (we had started out as such) or a partner. too much has happened. not to mention he could barely be bothered to treat me as a human being even when we were supposedly friends.

tattoo_lover Member

tattoo_lover

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Hmm good question. I'm in that sort of predicament at the moment. My ex is showing interest again. This is my ex who broke up with me and promptly walked out of my life. She ripped my heart out and it has taken me a long time to be 'ok' again. Would I take her back? I'm inclined to say I would.

sun_moon Established Member

sun_moon

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NOPE absolutely NOT. IT's so OVER.

PositiveNegative Established Member

PositiveNegative

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If I did it would be years from now. She would have to prove to me that she has grown in the time we were apart.

 

But, yes I would after that. I don't think I will ever forget her.

lymtal1 Established Member

lymtal1

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that one really makes me think. do i want to? yes. would i do it. no. i know where it would end again.

Buttercup84 Established Member

Buttercup84

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I dont he would ever ask me back. But if he did I hope I have the strength to say no.

 

I told work friends , friends and family about how he treated me so that if he ever does ask me back , I would feel like an idiot for going back as everyone will know what he is like.

 

But deep down I wish I could go back.

jaymz Established Member

jaymz

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I dont he would ever ask me back. But if he did I hope I have the strength to say no.

 

I told work friends , friends and family about how he treated me so that if he ever does ask me back , I would feel like an idiot for going back as everyone will know what he is like.

 

But deep down I wish I could go back.

 

I feel exactly the same way :-(

againstallodds Established Member

againstallodds

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Let keep false hope alive lol.

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