jmg2303 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Have posted about my breakup in the past but not for a bit. Me - (m)28 her - 29 ...we broke up over fights/life differences, etc....anyways we work together and over the past week or so have been speaking. She tells me she misses me but still feels this is the right thing to do because she doesn't think we could have changed that much over the past 2 months. I'm in a weird state at the moment...I almost feel as if I have this large amount of hope hanging over me at the moment, however, in the back of my head I really don't think she's coming back. Is it possible she's going to tell me she wants to hang out and 'talk' things over? Sure. Likely? No. It's very difficult for me because 1) we work together and 2) I can't ever imagine cutting her off completely. I really do want to imagine my life without her in it because it would make things so much easier. I almost think she's speaking with me because she's lonely ... examples of things she has said: "I have days where I feel I’m entitled to being happy, doing what I want, etc… and days where I feel like who am I kidding, I need to just buckle down and take what life has put right in front of me and make it work" "it’s hard because I want to check in on you, but am obviously keeping my distance so as not to hurt, get hurt, or complicate things… but I hope everything is ok…" "there are times I miss you like crazy, and there are times I think back on the arguments and the hurt… it’s certainly not the easiest, but I think it’s the best move for now…"
smudge21 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I'm taking from that that the break up was mutual - you both realised there were probs and decided to split. There was no cheating or any GIGS involved? If that is the case then I think you're both pretty much in the same boat - part of you wants to get back, part of you knows it can't happen, and from what you've said, I reckon she's feeling the same way. Seeing each other at work is not allowing either of you time to heal, so you can see the situation with clear heads. As the split was mutual there's a good chance that you both still love each other, despite all the problems. It's a tough one to call. When you hear about people who work together splitting because one half has cheated or just fallen out of love, it's kinda' obvious what to say. But in your circumstance, I'm not really sure. I do believe talking to each other is a good first step. Really sitting down and just both of you, saying how you feel about all this. See what others have to offer on this before you do anything. I would suggest you don't make contact in the evenings or weekends though. Just give each other some time apart.
Author jmg2303 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 I'm taking from that that the break up was mutual - you both realised there were probs and decided to split. There was no cheating or any GIGS involved? If that is the case then I think you're both pretty much in the same boat - part of you wants to get back, part of you knows it can't happen, and from what you've said, I reckon she's feeling the same way. Seeing each other at work is not allowing either of you time to heal, so you can see the situation with clear heads. As the split was mutual there's a good chance that you both still love each other, despite all the problems. It's a tough one to call. When you hear about people who work together splitting because one half has cheated or just fallen out of love, it's kinda' obvious what to say. But in your circumstance, I'm not really sure. I do believe talking to each other is a good first step. Really sitting down and just both of you, saying how you feel about all this. See what others have to offer on this before you do anything. I would suggest you don't make contact in the evenings or weekends though. Just give each other some time apart. Thanks! Yeah we only ever talk at work and it's been about 3 times in the last 10 days (work days) or so. I miss her more than I can ever explain to anyone but who knows what will happen. It was a mutual breakup yes...after I realized what I had lost and she ...well she needed time to herself and what not. I try to keep even keeled and not be overly optimistic or pesimistic because honestly it won't do me any good either way I lean....thanks for the feedback....we'll see what happens!!
Author jmg2303 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 So she just stopped by my desk with a friend who was in from out of town. My heart just sinks every time I see her (my ex) ...I kept a smile on my face and kept the conversation going pretty smoothly and then they left. I have a huge office so we don't see each other that often thank God. It's funny...I want to text her right now so bad and just tell her it's still there for me but I know it's not the right thing to do. I wonder if she feels anything.... What should I do?! Just leave it alone? I don't have the personality to leave things to chance but in this case I just don't know.
samphs Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Keep contact limited, if she needed her space then give it to her, I'm on the same boat (mutual breakup) and I miss him so much, at least idont have to see him but trust me in some ways that's worse....
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