How to reconnect?

[LoveHopeTruth]

Greetings, all!

 

I would like to share with you all my story and hope to get some advices/feedback on my situation. My ex is recently single and I would like to have a chance to spend some time with her and see what happens.

 

Quick background – I am 25, she is 22. We dated for a little less than a year. It was sort of a LDR, but I still managed to go see her every weekend. I was the one who broke things up with her during an argument (no lying, no cheating, and there was definitely no one else). I quickly regretted it (2 weeks later) and I realized I wasn’t ready to give this up, but by that time I found out she had met someone else so I decided to step back. A week after, she got in a relationship with him, and that was when I decided to cut contact from her since she was still texting me and asking me to keep in touch. I blocked her off everywhere for a couple of months; I felt I was too emotional during those months to handle any sort of communication from her. I unblocked her thinking that by then her attempts to stay friends with me would have most likely faded, but a week goes by and I receive a text from her. We then moved from NC to LC, very limited LC, and that’s how we have maintained for the last 4 months or so. She is the one who mostly initiates contact, but they are insignificant messages; asking me to check a game online, asking me to send her sister a text to wish her happy birthday, if I know someone who wants to adopt a cat, etc. The few times we did catch up, she would never bring her then bf up and I never really inquired about him, either. She invited me to her birthday party a couple of weeks ago saying that it had been too long since we have seen each other and she would like to see me, to which I cordially declined and wished her a good time.

 

Here is the thing; I found out they broke up about a week ago… and even though it’s been almost 7 months since we broke up, I still think about this girl a lot. I have always thought about her, but I kept my distance because of her relationship… and now that they are broken up, I want to see if maybe we could hang out and see if the feelings are still there for both sides. I don’t want to jump in a relationship right away, because I want to do it right with her. I have done a lot for myself during this past few months; I have not dated anyone because I couldn’t take her off my mind and instead I focused on my life, made new friends, acquired some new hobbies along the way, I am taking the GRE and applying for Grad School. I can honestly say I am happy now, and having a second chance to spend time with her would be a bonus.

 

I haven’t really tried to get in touch with her since I found out about her break up. She did send me a text a couple of days after asking me to text her sister. I don’t know how to proceed, I don’t know how long to wait. She is going through a break up, so she must be going through some emotions right now, I don’t know if the guy was a rebound or not, but it is still a break up. How long should I wait? How should I proceed? I have never attempted to reconnect with anyone before.

 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

[KathyM]

Greetings, all!

 

I would like to share with you all my story and hope to get some advices/feedback on my situation. My ex is recently single and I would like to have a chance to spend some time with her and see what happens.

 

Quick background – I am 25, she is 22. We dated for a little less than a year. It was sort of a LDR, but I still managed to go see her every weekend. I was the one who broke things up with her during an argument (no lying, no cheating, and there was definitely no one else). I quickly regretted it (2 weeks later) and I realized I wasn’t ready to give this up, but by that time I found out she had met someone else so I decided to step back. A week after, she got in a relationship with him, and that was when I decided to cut contact from her since she was still texting me and asking me to keep in touch. I blocked her off everywhere for a couple of months; I felt I was too emotional during those months to handle any sort of communication from her. I unblocked her thinking that by then her attempts to stay friends with me would have most likely faded, but a week goes by and I receive a text from her. We then moved from NC to LC, very limited LC, and that’s how we have maintained for the last 4 months or so. She is the one who mostly initiates contact, but they are insignificant messages; asking me to check a game online, asking me to send her sister a text to wish her happy birthday, if I know someone who wants to adopt a cat, etc. The few times we did catch up, she would never bring her then bf up and I never really inquired about him, either. She invited me to her birthday party a couple of weeks ago saying that it had been too long since we have seen each other and she would like to see me, to which I cordially declined and wished her a good time.

 

Here is the thing; I found out they broke up about a week ago… and even though it’s been almost 7 months since we broke up, I still think about this girl a lot. I have always thought about her, but I kept my distance because of her relationship… and now that they are broken up, I want to see if maybe we could hang out and see if the feelings are still there for both sides. I don’t want to jump in a relationship right away, because I want to do it right with her. I have done a lot for myself during this past few months; I have not dated anyone because I couldn’t take her off my mind and instead I focused on my life, made new friends, acquired some new hobbies along the way, I am taking the GRE and applying for Grad School. I can honestly say I am happy now, and having a second chance to spend time with her would be a bonus.

 

I haven’t really tried to get in touch with her since I found out about her break up. She did send me a text a couple of days after asking me to text her sister. I don’t know how to proceed, I don’t know how long to wait. She is going through a break up, so she must be going through some emotions right now, I don’t know if the guy was a rebound or not, but it is still a break up. How long should I wait? How should I proceed? I have never attempted to reconnect with anyone before.

 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

Just call her and tell her you've been thinking about her and the relationship you had with her, and you'd like to get together with her for coffee to chat if she's interested. Don't wait any longer. The longer you wait, the greater chance she'll be finding someone else and then your window of opportunity will be lost.

[Lis007]

Because she jumped into a relationship so quickly she probably hasnt had time to even mourn your break up. She might suddenly find she experiences all the pain and loss of your break up over the next few weeks.

 

I would wait a little bit and see if she contacts you.... but then again no time like now to reconnect over a coffee as Kathym says and get a feel for where she is at.