purplepanda Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 My friend, who is 16, 2 years younger than myself, has a boyfriend. Usually they only last for about a week, but she's been this one since the summertime. I've met him, and he's the first nice guy I've seen in quite a while. Though I think she moved WAY too fast in the relationship, I can see how he'd be good for her. He lives 40 miles away, and she's always spending all her time talking to him, about him, or is spending every weekend with him. The only time I'm not busy is on the weekends... so I haven't really hung out with her or talked to her for more than 10 minutes. Since she was 13, she has struggled with self-destructing. She has cut, burned, smoked pot, stopped eating, started smoking cigarettes.... I am straight edge and I do not cut or anything, so all this makes me back away slowly, because it's really bad stuff for her to start doing only her sophomore year. I am more mature than her, kind of obvious right? Yeah, well she tries to think like she's making good choices but she's not. She's bipolar and has ADHD, but I have never seen anything to make me think she is, other than knowing she was diagnosed as those things. Her mother is unstable as well, not into drugs or drinking or anything, just crazy. O.o She'll give her anything she wants, then she'll decide to be a parent once in awhile. This is not helping my friend grow up. Anyways. She spent 4 or 5 months in a mental hospital from her cutting and depression, and she CONTINUES to cut superficially and sometimes burn herself. Over the summer she would take more than enough medication and run out early...and not eat for several days. I've been watching her closely and I told her I would tell her mom the first chance I got if she didn't stop it. I think she quit doing that. (You can never be sure, can you?) Her boyfriend saw some shallow cuts on her the other day, and he almost broke up with her. I wrote her a long letter explaining that he has good reason to do this. Not to punish her, but because she's not healthy enought to have a healthy RELATIONSHIP. I don't know what she thinks about it yet. I told her to read him the letter and talk to him, have a heart to heart. I told her, you've been going to therapy for 4 years and you've been in 2 hospitals, why are you still doing this? it's really hard to walk away from her, because I somewhat have experience with therapy and stuff, but I'm perfectly okay. Would any of you break up with someone who was this self-destructive, even if you loved them?
JokeMan Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 My friend, who is 16, 2 years younger than myself, has a boyfriend. Usually they only last for about a week, but she's been this one since the summertime. I've met him, and he's the first nice guy I've seen in quite a while. Though I think she moved WAY too fast in the relationship, I can see how he'd be good for her. He lives 40 miles away, and she's always spending all her time talking to him, about him, or is spending every weekend with him. The only time I'm not busy is on the weekends... so I haven't really hung out with her or talked to her for more than 10 minutes. Since she was 13, she has struggled with self-destructing. She has cut, burned, smoked pot, stopped eating, started smoking cigarettes.... I am straight edge and I do not cut or anything, so all this makes me back away slowly, because it's really bad stuff for her to start doing only her sophomore year. I am more mature than her, kind of obvious right? Yeah, well she tries to think like she's making good choices but she's not. She's bipolar and has ADHD, but I have never seen anything to make me think she is, other than knowing she was diagnosed as those things. Her mother is unstable as well, not into drugs or drinking or anything, just crazy. O.o She'll give her anything she wants, then she'll decide to be a parent once in awhile. This is not helping my friend grow up. Anyways. She spent 4 or 5 months in a mental hospital from her cutting and depression, and she CONTINUES to cut superficially and sometimes burn herself. Over the summer she would take more than enough medication and run out early...and not eat for several days. I've been watching her closely and I told her I would tell her mom the first chance I got if she didn't stop it. I think she quit doing that. (You can never be sure, can you?) Her boyfriend saw some shallow cuts on her the other day, and he almost broke up with her. I wrote her a long letter explaining that he has good reason to do this. Not to punish her, but because she's not healthy enought to have a healthy RELATIONSHIP. I don't know what she thinks about it yet. I told her to read him the letter and talk to him, have a heart to heart. I told her, you've been going to therapy for 4 years and you've been in 2 hospitals, why are you still doing this? it's really hard to walk away from her, because I somewhat have experience with therapy and stuff, but I'm perfectly okay. Would any of you break up with someone who was this self-destructive, even if you loved them? It would be a hard decision, but I'd have to do it.
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