Buttercup84 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Since I am back with my parents I can spend my money on myself a bit until I move out next year. I live in Australia and haven't seen much of my own country , mostly just cities. When I was with my ex I lost myself , became too dependant ( he said so too ) and I lost my spirit of adventure. I always dream of doing things but never walk the talk.So when I get my tax return this year I am going to book my flight to Uluru ( Ayers rock -outback ) at this camping site , all by myself. I am ****ting myself thinking about it , scared mostly about the monster insects in our country and the fact I will be alone and have to deal with everything by myself. But my friends went there recently and said its so beautiful and spritual.I think I need this escape , find myself and do something that scares me. Plus I have two weeks off over christmas and having nothing to do will depress me , knowing my ex will most likley will be with some chick for Christmas , and worse NYE. Thought I would share thanks for reading
Citizen Erased Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 You want to go to Uluru during SUMMER? You're crazy girl. Don't worry about the insects. You're surrounded by deadly insects and snakes even in Sydney. A few more can't hurt.
eleanorhurting Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Good for you! I have a free week in October and Im thinking of going to NYC. Or taking a class! Being without anything to do will surely make me feel worse.
Mack05 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) Wow that was great to read. I climbed the rock back in 2000 (when you were still allowed too). That was awesome. Got lost in the Outback and had so much fun, even though inside myself and my mates were bricking it! Thank god Wolf creek hadn't been released yet! Btw Butter back in 2000 in Lived in Albi Place in Randwick. I have so many amazing memories. The best year of my life travelling round your great country...I think this is an amazing idea Butter. I remember in June 2000 breaking up with my ex girlfriend. I was stuck in a job I hated and was so down. One afternoon I said to hell with it, I walked into my boss and handed in my notice. He said where are going to, I said I don't know haha. I will tell you tomorrow. Had a think about it that night and the next day I booked my flights to Australia. I stopped off for Asia in 6 weeks along the way. I travelled through Asia on my own and found it liberating. I had planned to do Oz on my own too, but one by one my mates followed me out and we ended up getting that place in Randwick. Best thing I ever did Buttercup. You will have an amazing time and meet people, who will be close friends for the rest of your life.. Great to see some postivity on the board on a Friday, very uplifting stuff and you just brought back a flood of very happy memories for me, on a sad week. Go Buttercup!!! Edited September 30, 2011 by Mack05
geegirl Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Love it! I saw a documentary on Ayers Rock once and it is so beautiful! I'm glad to see you getting excited about life Buttercup. Little steps. Little pieces that you're putting together that will start to put you back together again. It can be big plans and it can even be little ones. As long as it slowly starts to fill that void that you feel inside you. There is no doubt that you became an extension of your ex. I was too, and I can't even begin to tell you the horrible things that happened to me. It's hard to find yourself because not only are you heart broken, your mind is not yours anymore. It was his and it's still a part of him. He controlled you in such a way that your thoughts and your actions were his. You moulded yourself based on his expectations and his needs. Now, you have to break that hold he has on you. You become you and not an extension of him. It's going to take awhile. But you're getting proactive and you're starting to put the focus back on you. It's going to be intimidating to start doing things on your own and putting yourself out there but it will build your self esteem and character Buttercup. When you're afraid to do something, that's the best time to push yourself to do it. And when you overcome it, you'll feel such a sense of accomplishment and you'll be determined to try other things and you won't feel afraid or intimidated anymore. Once you break that barrier, and all you need is to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation just once (like this camping trip), and if you get through it feeling great and saying to youself, 'Hey it wasn't so bad, I can do this!", you'll keep going! Trust me. It was the same for me. Keep coming here and posting about positive things you are thinking and doing for yourself. Sometimes you will ponder about him. Post that too. You may get some tough love but it's to jolt you out of dwelling. Keep going!
Kageytn Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 That is so cool, Buttercup! I am so jealous. Have a great time and enjoy the heck out of yourself.
radiodarcy Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 that's awesome Buttercup! i'm jealous! i wish i could do something like that! now you have something to look forward to instead of moping about during the holidays who cares what he'll be doing? you will be busy having your own adventure!
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