Mykittykatz Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I am having an affair with the teacher I work in the same room with all day. I know it's wrong and we can't leave our spouses and children. I had been attracted to him for awhile but thought it was just flirting and physical until last Friday when he texted me and we got to talking and he told me he had feelings for me. The physical attraction is so strong I get goosebumps when he brushes my arm. We have only met 1 time outside of school but it was great. It's all I can think about. We have been working together for 3 years and truly have a great friendship. We have everything in common and would make a great couple if we weren't married. I just don't know how to sit next to him all day and not touch him. It hurts. One minute my resolve is strong and the next I am in tears. How do I go back to before.
bentnotbroken Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Sounds like you are not only trying to lose your husband but your job also. Put yourself in his wife's shoes. How would your react to your husband doing that to his family?
reboot Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Completely inappropriate, get a different job.
Bryanp Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 How would you feel if your husband was doing to you behind your back what you are doing to him? If you continue this then: 1. Your husband will eventually find out. 2. You will get a divorce. 3. Your lover boy will dump you and stay with his wife. 4. You will end up with shared custody of your children. The choice is yours.
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 How do I go back to before. easy, and I say this with all seriousness. GROW UP! realize what you have to lose and just how good you have it at home and RESPECT your family.
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Completely inappropriate, get a different job. and this advice is the very FIRST thing you should be working towards.
Trimmer Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I'm interested to hear about your family. How old are you now and how long have you been married? What is your marriage like, adn how are you feeling about it these days? How many and how old are your kids? What is your relationship like with them? How do you think they see the relationship between their parents, e.g. do you guys model a pretty good example of an adult relationship, or is there tension in the home, etc?
stillafool Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 You only have goosebumps because of impending sex on your brain. Once your hubby and his wife find out those goosebumps will feel like boils as you two sit in that classroom looking at each other with disgust because of how you've screwed up everyone's life. Hey, but if you just have to have each other, come clean to your spouses about your love and give it a go.
RobD70 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 We have been working together for 3 years and truly have a great friendship. Not any more, you have crossed the line so there's no going back to being "just friends". You need to prepare yourself for the fact that eventually you will have to cut him out of your life forever because you overstepped your boundaries. We have everything in common and would make a great couple if we weren't married. This is affair fog talking. All you see if the good side of him and odds are he's either lying or overstating his interest in certain things to make himself more interesting to you. 97% of affairs die within 2 years because when you deal with the reality of a relationship with the AP, you find they have flaws and not nearly as great as you first thought. Nobody can live up to the expectations of the affair. You are in the honeymoon stage but it doesn't last. I just don't know how to sit next to him all day and not touch him. It hurts. One minute my resolve is strong and the next I am in tears. How do I go back to before.By confessing. You will get caught anyway in time. Once the affair is expose then you will be forced to deal with it and you may find your husband leaving you may spark up attraction for him again. Just some advice, you can NEVER have a close relationship with someone of the opposite sex when you are married. The vast majority of affairs happen just like yours because you crossed the line and got personal with someone you shouldn't have. Unless he's gay, there's no such thing as a "safe" man to talk about your personal issues with, doesn't matter if they are married, old, young, ugly, ect. You screwed up and this will not end well for you no matter what you do. Just suck it up and take responsibly for what you did and hope next time you use better judgment.
jnj express Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 You get caught messing around with another teacher, you will both loose your jobs, and your families----why don't you try running those thoughts thru your brain You need to request a transfer to a new school immediately, probably won't happen till next year---but then by next year you won't have to worry, cuz if you get caught cheating, you won't have a job to worry about---its called---hmmmm let me think oh yeah MORALS---check your contract you will find a moral's clause there If you have your own kids, you can tell them how mommy got tossed out of the school district for violating her morals clause----that's after you try explaining it all to your H----but then again you have already broken your vows, by sleeping with your scum partner-----the 2 of you stink up the teaching profession
sadcalifornian Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I can understand he makes you feel so wonderful and all, but you do know that you have a family that you must protect. And, by enjoying your secret life, you are destroying the very thing you vowed to protect. Life is full of wonderful things that we can indulge in, but one has to learn that there are things you must stay clear of; otherwise you will end up hurting yourself and the ones you love. You shouldn't have put yourself in this shoes in the first place. You should have stayed away the moment you felt attraction to him. You said it started as friend, but I am sure there was that moment you knew your heart was leaving your H for him. It's just pure selfishness and immaturity. A guy who can't control his dick and a woman who can't control her heart. Have some deep soul searching, and make a decision on what you want to do, or rather what you are supposed to do. And, stick to it. 1. Announce NC to him, and stick to it. 2. Change the job. 3. Confess to your H.
jnj express Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Well that's the rub of it---you just don't go and change classrooms/classes just like that She is kind of stuck---she isn't gonna quit a job she went to college 5 yrs to get---so she has a major problem She seems to be sitting on what she uses for brains, and now has a major problem
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 4. You will end up with shared custody of your children. this is absolutely not true. if the wife wants custody, even if she is a cheater, she will get it as long as she isn't seen unfit in other ways by the court. and cheating isn't considered being unfit, unfortunately.
y2k Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 this is absolutely not true. if the wife wants custody, even if she is a cheater, she will get it as long as she isn't seen unfit in other ways by the court. and cheating isn't considered being unfit, unfortunately. This is true. Even if a woman cheats on her husband, falls in love with the other man, and leaves her husband for the other man, the woman can still get full custody of her child. When it comes to child custody, the woman always has the advantage. Unless the woman is a drug addict or something like that, she'll always get her child. But a woman who cheats or falls in love with another man DOES NOT lose her child in the courts. To the OP, you haven't told us how is the relationship between you and your husband??? Are you still in love with him??? The fact that you have developed feelings towards another man is not wrong. If you really felt that this man is worth it, you should have separated from your husband and tried whatever you wanted to with this other man. There is no need to stay in a marriage where you're no longer in love with your spouse while being in love with someone else, BUT there is also no need to cheat. Separate first.
jnj express Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Where is kittykatz---she threw this up 3 days ago, and has disappeared---there out to be some kind of deal that an OP, stick around and answer, consider all of us, do put in our time, trying to analyze and give advice/opinions
stillafool Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Where is kittykatz---she threw this up 3 days ago, and has disappeared---there out to be some kind of deal that an OP, stick around and answer, consider all of us, do put in our time, trying to analyze and give advice/opinions When they don't get the opinion they want they don't come back.
Recommended Posts