sher871 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I live in Illinois. My husband just responded to my divorce papers. He makes $175,000 per year and I make $55,000. He is proposing we split college costs for our 3 children. He is also proposing we are each responsible for our own attorney fees (mine is a more expensive attorney). Other than that...he is in agreement for child support/maintenance and dividing assets equally. Thoughts?
SoleMate Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 It depends, but this sounds far from fair. Illinois law requires that everything either of you has acquired during marriage be divided equitably, NOT necessarily equally. (Check out the link below for the factors that are taken into account.) With your income much lower, after a long-term marriage, you would likely be entitled to more than half the accumulated assets to help maintain your standard of living. Clearly, based on his income, he is far more able to support the children in college and far more able to pay for his own lawyer and also yours. Etc. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/usstatedivorcelaws/a/illinois_laws.htm Of course, your lawyer should be helping you understand all this.
PegNosePete Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Of course you should both pay your own attorney costs. Why on earth should he pay for yours? Just because you chose a more expensive one, is not his fault. College costs, well I don't know about Illinois but here in the UK a "child" is no longer considered dependent after the age of 18. So neither you nor he can be obligated to pay anything after that age. If you want ot make an informal agreement about college costs then you're free to but it won't be legally enforceable. Splitting equally... nobody can possibly say whether that is fair or not without many, many more details. Your attorney should be advising you.
carhill Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Your H, until recently, was representing himself in this action. I'd let things shake out for awhile before agreeing to anything. Has he given up his claim on your retirement? How old are your children? Is there currently a college fund established for them? I think it's reasonable for each party to pay their own lawyers fees unless one party is impoverished, for example someone like my mom who had been a SAHM for a couple decades and out of the work force. Divorce isn't cheap and lawyer's fees are one of the costs which weighs against the benefits. There are plenty of ways to work stuff out equitably if the parties are amenable. If other, well, that's what court is for. Good luck.
andyg99 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 that's one thing I like about CA - once the kid is 18 support is over (unless they're still in HS then it could go up to age 19)... after that college is up to each parent and it's their choice whether to pay or not. Maybe Illinois law makes support go beyond 18, in that case since the guy is making much more he'll have to pay much more....
Tiberius Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Well if you think its fair accept it. If you want the best you can get by law, then its all down to the laws. Your attorney knows best.
jstobo Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I'm not sure about your situation other than what you posted here. I can only interject my feelings based on my personal experience. My income disparity is about the same as yours. My Wife has chosen to leave the marriage. I completely supported her for over 11 years. She wanted to be a stay at home spouse. I would have loved for her to work to make things easier financially, but that isn't how she was raised. I accepted that. She didn't contribute one dime to the house I bought before we were married or any of the houses we bought since. Now that she has chosen to leave the marriage, I will do what the courts say. I have the kids 50% of the time, yet I am still going to pay her every month until the kids hit 18. So I think it is absolutely fair that she pays half for anything they may need once they hit 18. I also think each party should responsible for their own attorney fees. I'm sure your STBX is going to pay you alimony or child support to get you taking home close to the same amount he is taking home, so younshould pay your own attorney fees.
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I live in Illinois. My husband just responded to my divorce papers. He makes $175,000 per year and I make $55,000. He is proposing we split college costs for our 3 children. He is also proposing we are each responsible for our own attorney fees (mine is a more expensive attorney). Other than that...he is in agreement for child support/maintenance and dividing assets equally. Thoughts? If you are the custodial parent and he is paying you CS to raise your income AND maintenance, then yes, its fair. Why? even with alimony, you think you should get more or not have to pay for something?
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 It depends, but this sounds far from fair. Illinois law requires that everything either of you has acquired during marriage be divided equitably, NOT necessarily equally. I live in Illinois, and I can tell you its half the marital assets. Which in this case is more than fair seeing as how she hasn't contributed as much to the assets. So she will be getting more than she put in. On top of that she is getting alimony. If it is far from fair, then its not fair to her H. (Check out the link below for the factors that are taken into account.) With your income much lower, after a long-term marriage, you would likely be entitled to more than half the accumulated assets to help maintain your standard of living. thats what the alimony is for.
ShatteredReality Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 It might be more fair to look at your income with whatever he'll be paying you in cs and/or alimony and then to look at his and do a percentage calculation. An affordable percentage you both put into a college fund for the children. That may make the $ amount different, but the impact on your individual incomes should be similar.
nofool4u Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 With your income much lower, after a long-term marriage, you would likely be entitled to more than half the accumulated assets to help maintain your standard of living. and based on his income, he is probably going to be paying around 30 grand a year for child support. That would bring her up to $85K and him down to $145K And I can only imagine alimony is probably another 30 to 40K a year. Now her income is probably $125K/year and his now brought down to $105K. She is getting MORE than a fair shake here. maybe she can provide some numbers as to what he is paying in CS and alimony.
Tiberius Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 and based on his income, he is probably going to be paying around 30 grand a year for child support. That would bring her up to $85K and him down to $145K And I can only imagine alimony is probably another 30 to 40K a year. Now her income is probably $125K/year and his now brought down to $105K. She is getting MORE than a fair shake here. maybe she can provide some numbers as to what he is paying in CS and alimony. Well if he wants to end the marriage, he probably thinks its worth it.
Leslie5007 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I live in Illinois. My husband just responded to my divorce papers. He makes $175,000 per year and I make $55,000. He is proposing we split college costs for our 3 children. He is also proposing we are each responsible for our own attorney fees (mine is a more expensive attorney). Other than that...he is in agreement for child support/maintenance and dividing assets equally. Thoughts? I would not agree to splitting the college expenses. In fact, you can leave that out, since generally there is no obligation to children after they are 18. College is expensive and I don't see how you can afford to live on your salary, let alone pay half the college expenses. Let him pay.
Tayla Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I would not agree to splitting the college expenses. In fact, you can leave that out, since generally there is no obligation to children after they are 18. College is expensive and I don't see how you can afford to live on your salary, let alone pay half the college expenses. Let him pay. Untrue. Now research why I would make such an accurate statement against your advisal on the Age of 18 or the parents being FORCED to pay college or trade school. Your welcome to use a number 2 pencil as you'll be shocked at what the laws read on this.
Tayla Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I live in Illinois. My husband just responded to my divorce papers. He makes $175,000 per year and I make $55,000. He is proposing we split college costs for our 3 children. He is also proposing we are each responsible for our own attorney fees (mine is a more expensive attorney). Other than that...he is in agreement for child support/maintenance and dividing assets equally. Thoughts? And he is correct. Accept his proposal to be a RESPONSIBLE PARENT and ADULT. Pay your own fees in life.
Leslie5007 Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Untrue. Now research why I would make such an accurate statement against your advisal on the Age of 18 or the parents being FORCED to pay college or trade school. Your welcome to use a number 2 pencil as you'll be shocked at what the laws read on this. Ok, 18 for most states. Some 19. Moreover, if the child still resides in the home as a dependent and is in secondry school the age bumps up to 20 in some states. These are details. Committing to paying for college is a post-majority expense and not child support. Unless it's have set money aside it's inadvisable to commit to paying college expenses when you are making just 55k a year. Are you using the google translator?
nofool4u Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 I would not agree to splitting the college expenses. In fact, you can leave that out, since generally there is no obligation to children after they are 18. College is expensive and I don't see how you can afford to live on your salary, let alone pay half the college expenses. Let him pay. at the very least she should pay something by percentage. besides, did you miss the part that after he pays child support AND alimony, that she will more than likely be making MORE than him? again, depends on what the numbers are. but why should she get to skate in the financial responsibilities of her kids? she should pay something, maybe not half, but she is responsible financially for the children too.
nofool4u Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Ok, 18 for most states. Some 19. Moreover, if the child still resides in the home as a dependent and is in secondry school the age bumps up to 20 in some states. These are details. Committing to paying for college is a post-majority expense and not child support. Unless it's have set money aside it's inadvisable to commit to paying college expenses when you are making just 55k a year. Are you using the google translator? again, she more than likely will be making more than him after CS AND alimony. and the very fact she is getting alimony should suggest that she pay something for her kids college. as long as she is getting alimony, she can sock some aside for her portion of the college expenses.
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