Booyah171 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I've spent the last night on the phone with my friends for over 90 minutes crying about this. We went over a month with no contact. My ex stopped by a place where she knows I frequent. She knew a lot of people there so I didn't think it was to see me. We ended up talking and I ended up spending the night. We agreed before hand that this wouldn't change anything. We still weren't compatible, blah blah blah. I texted her the next few days and only got a few short responses. Finally she tells me that I shouldn't be texting her because I read too much into it. So I leave her alone. This was 9 days ago. Last night she stopped by the place again where I frequent. I thought she might be there to see me but after how rude she was I didn't know how to respond. My first reaction (like the first time) was "wtf does she want?" only this time she didn't bother speaking to me. She spoke to everyone else but me. I found out later she was talking to another guy there (her ex from way back) and possibly making out with him. I finally texted her after I left last night asking why she didn't speak. Her response was because she didn't want what happened two weeks ago to happen again because it was a mistake. She never denied any of my accusations regarding her ex. The last thing she told me was "I still love you but I'm not in love with you". It's been killing me all day and all night. Everything about her is wrong so why the heck does it hurt so bad? Is it because I'm afraid to be alone? The thought of her with someone else is horrible. After spilling my guts just now I think I feel worse. Thanks for reading.
Author Booyah171 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 After further thought I realize I should have seen this coming. We didn't communicate for over a month. She shows up out of the blue and we have one night together. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I wish I never would have seen her two weeks ago. The problem is, she may show up every couple of weeks because she has friends there. I am really struggling with this.
lonelynyc Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 After further thought I realize I should have seen this coming. We didn't communicate for over a month. She shows up out of the blue and we have one night together. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I wish I never would have seen her two weeks ago. The problem is, she may show up every couple of weeks because she has friends there. I am really struggling with this. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. My ex broke up with me months ago. I tried to maintain my distance, but she called me to come over several times, we ended up being intimate, and lines were blurred. It was a mistake on my part. I couldn't handle it, and am now so mixed up and longing to know if she still loves me. She dealt with it just fine, ****ed some new guy a few weeks later. I played the fool. Your ex, my ex--they're just looking for comfort every now and then. If we're looking to rekindle what we lost, I guess we'd be delusional. I can't tell you to cut contact with her, because I never did with mine. But I can tell you that remaining in touch with her has brought me a great deal of pain. Unless you think you can deal with that, start socializing in a new place. Grappling with that question of whether or not they love us or are still in love with us keeps me up at night almost every single day.
Author Booyah171 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) I know EXACTLY what you're going through. My ex broke up with me months ago. I tried to maintain my distance, but she called me to come over several times, we ended up being intimate, and lines were blurred. It was a mistake on my part. I couldn't handle it, and am now so mixed up and longing to know if she still loves me. She dealt with it just fine, ****ed some new guy a few weeks later. I played the fool. Your ex, my ex--they're just looking for comfort every now and then. If we're looking to rekindle what we lost, I guess we'd be delusional. I can't tell you to cut contact with her, because I never did with mine. But I can tell you that remaining in touch with her has brought me a great deal of pain. Unless you think you can deal with that, start socializing in a new place. Grappling with that question of whether or not they love us or are still in love with us keeps me up at night almost every single day. Prior to last night contact was essentially cut. She told me to leave her be so I did. It was my idea to get together two weeks ago (which she willingly did so). The place where I go is a league and I can't just quit. It really irritates me because I have been on this league for over 10 years and now she has to come in and ruin it for me. I honestly don't ever expect to talk to her again. This was made clear last night when she couldn't even say hi to me. She said hi to my entire family.... but not me. It was a mistake and I was lonely. After seeing her for the first time in over a month it brought all the emotions back. I thought it might be different considering how passionate our night was together. We watched a movie and hung out. The next day it was like nothing ever happened. Apparently it was just sex on her part but you sure could have fooled me. The sex just clicks with us. Everything else? Not so much. Same old BS, different day. I was thinking with the wrong head. I have two wonderful kids (another problem with the relationship) who are 5 and 6. I have them every other night so I see them quite often. I have tried pulling them in even closer the last couple of days. I'm a good dad but I've been trying to be that much better with them. Again, thanks for reading. Edited September 30, 2011 by Booyah171
Author Booyah171 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 I just needed a bump for this please. Thanks.
Paper Roses Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Hey Boo. I'm sorry you are so sad over this break up. Lots of us have been through this and you know what I think it is? It's not so much that you're heartbroken over this being over but you're heartbroken about losing what you used to have with her. You even said it, it was just the sex. You two have that animal thing going with each other and that stuff is powerful. You say you aren't compatible and it sounds like you don't get along, so really what else could you be missing if not the past you had? I bet it was awesome, was. Try to be happy that you had it good at least for a little while. Try to stay away from things that remind you of her, get rid of her pictures, delete her number from your phone. Do anything you can to get your head (okay, headS) out of this nonsense and hopefully your heart will follow. Hope you feel better, I really do. And enjoy those babies, they grow up so fast!
wilsonx Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 Look, the only way to truly heal is hardcore NC. You have to do whatever it takes to lock it down. If you have to change your hangout spot, guess what do it. Tell your family to quit acknowledging her because it hurts you. Tell them to not tell you things about her. Hopefully she isnt as psycho as my ex lol when you lock down NC.
Author Booyah171 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Thank you guys. I have deleted everything I can of her. She is blocked on Facebook and I have deleted all of her texts and pictures. We have been apart now for so long that it's stupid for me to get upset that she is with someone else. Why wouldn't she be? I guess it just irritates me that we were intimate two weeks prior to this. No contact from me. I will not text her (I haven't until after we spent the night together but that was just a couple times). I'm hoping she tries to speak to me if I ever see her again. I'll tell her where she can stick her "hello". Thanks.
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