momto3boys Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 My husband and i have been separated for 3 weeks, although i just moved home less than a week ago (i moved 6 hours away). he was very very very mean to me. He called me the b word every chance he got, told me he didnt love me, told me everyone else was more important to him than me, has done nothing but party (i feel like i dont even know him anymore) claimed he didnt think our unborn baby was his (but now denies ever saying that), told me my voice pissed him off, he hated me, i was a crazy b*tch. Told me to go f*ck some other guy so maybe id get off his back, told me to move on, leave him a lone, dont ever call him ever again. We do have a son together and another baby boy coming in 6 weeks. I emailed my ex to see about child support for Oct, asking him how he was going to pay me since he didnt have any checks and child support hasnt been filed yet (im waiting to file until our next baby is born so i dont have to repay to file). In the email i told him he could email me days and times our son could call him and that way we did not need to communicate, since our son is almost 3, he can talk himself. Its not like we need to communicate because he is 6 hours away because of the army so its not like he is going to get visitation and we both agreed when he was coming back up here to visit that he would email me and let me know a head of time so we could plan something out. Well he emails me tonight saying he was gonna m ail me money for our son in oct. Then he said he didnt get why he couldnt just call or our son couldnt just call him (which i said he could but i told him to email me his hours and days so our son can call him. He works crazy hours because of the army). Then he said he was sorry for being a jerk and he didnt want to just not have any contact. Honestly i dont want to talk to him, i think communicating through emails and having our son call him to talk is better. He was so mean to me and made me feel an inch big, so i cant even bring myself to talk to him. what should i do? Whats there really to communicate about? I know we have a kid together but he talks and can talk to my ex. he's made it clear he doesnt really care about our unborn baby, he told me to email him when he's born. He told me he wanted me to leave him a lone, so thats what im doing. Why does he want to communicate now?
Rorschach64 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Momto, Reading that I was kind of just simply baffled and shocked. Not only that but simply disgusted that a U.S. Soldier that would treat someone with such disrespect. Even if you did something horribly wrong in the relationship you still don't deserved to be treated like that. What was the reasons you two seperated? In regards to your questions, honestly does it matter what he thinks or his reasons because at this point you basically said you do not want anything to do with him let alone do you really want to be continually abused like this?
Author momto3boys Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 We separated because we got in to a huge fight because he was constantly drunk, abusing sleeping pills and he told me he didnt wanna be with me anymore after he went out all night one night and didnt come home and he came home the next day and i nagged him. he said i nagged him constantly. i also do not get a long with his mom. I do nag a lot but honestly he became such a drunk since coming home from his deployment in Dec, i have been an emotional punching bag to him and a drunk babysitter. He became so lazy, i was doing everything at home and all he did was sleep. I was mowing a 1 acre back yard with a push mower up until i was 7 1/2 months pregnant in the heat, taking the trash out, doing everything and so i did nag. i think he has ptsd, but im not exactly sure because he wont get help. I just know the last month or so before i left was bad. He did a lot of screwed up stuff to me before i left. He made a dating website, started talking to girls days after he said he wanted a divorce. Told me he hated me constantly. Then even went as far as to tell his squad leader that i attacked him (i didnt attack him, i tried to grab his phone from him because he was making a video of me and calling me names in the video.). he is just crazy now, i dont even know him anymore. Thats why i dont even wanna talk to him. I keep thinking about all the stuff he did to me before i left. Im a lot happier when we dont talk.
Rorschach64 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I am really sorry this has happened to you but only thing I can think of is possibly going to a company commander with this, officers are usually a bit more diplomatic and understanding. Otherwise, all I can say is sorry and the person that you loved might be gone for now till he gets help for his messed up behavior, that won't happen till he hits rock bottom and realizes holy crap what the hell happened to me?! I really do wish the best for this, just seems like another example of how the military system to help/support the members of the uniformed services keeps on failing us, and I wish the best for you.
Author momto3boys Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 Thank you. I have thought about calling his commander but he told them i attacked him (which like i said i didnt, i was just trying to grab his phone) and has made me look crazy to his whole company/higher ups because i threatened to tell them how crazy he was. Everyones been telling me to just let him hit rock bottom, although i think he already has. Maybe he hasnt realized it yet. Hopefully he does get himself some help. Specially with the drinking/abusing the sleeping pills. although it may just worse now that i left our house and moved 6 hours away.
Rorschach64 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Well momto, I know officers being officers will at least try to listen to both sides of the stories, so it is worth a shot if you care anymore. Otherwise that is your only choice to let him hit rock bottom and he has to realize it. When you talk to the company commander you tell him EVERYTHING, the pills, the abuse, the lying, and all that fun stuff. I figure at this point, you at least tried everything in the book before giving up to chance.
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