beachwrangler Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 So my ex-girlfriend broke it off a little over 2 weeks ago. She is 21 and I am 24. We dated for about 2 years and had an amazing relationship. We shared everything together and actually had plans on moving in together on Oct. 1st. But the last month started getting rocky we fought more often and I could tell she just wasn't happy anymore and it led to our break up. She texted me that night saying how she didn't want this and it was killing her not being together. A couple nights later she got drunk at a party and actually slept with somebody. She told me the next morning and told me how bad it made her feel and that it made her realize how much she loved me. I did forgive her because I know some people have different ways of dealing with the pain of a break up. She has literally initiated contact with me everyday since the break up. One minute she would be hot towards me saying things such as I miss you, I love you, I want us to work out so bad, to saying she is confused, doesn't want anything to do with me, etc. We tried to hang out a couple times shortly after the break up but both ended in disaster she was very cold and distant towards me and eventually she said she just didn't have those feelings for me anymore. Well this past weekend we hung out on Saturday and Sunday. Something just clicked Saturday went so perfect we were laughing, talking, just having a good time just like it was when we first started dating. She told me she was so happy to see us heading in the right direction and that she wanted to take small steps. She also let me know she didnt have any feelings for the guy she slept with. Sunday she came over to watch the football game and she was constantly touching me either rubbing my back, tickling me etc. Eventually she was in my lap because I started tickling her back, we hugged, and even kissed. Then after the game we got a coffee and again had an awesome time together. I took her home and she texted me I miss you and told me her whole family was over and her sister's bf as well and she told me she felt like I should be there with her. We talked that whole night just like we did when we were together this is the first time we have since the break up. She even mentioned furniture for the apartment she thought we should go out and purchase this week. She constantly calls me baby and hunny as well. So everything was going perfect. On monday and tuesday she texted me good morning babe right when she woke up and we talked all day. She kept telling me how she missed me and realizes how much she loves me more and more everyday. She actually went out and bought a new car tuesday night and called me numerous times about how she wishes I was there with her and that she wished she didn't go without me. She then texted me that she wanted to fall asleep in my arms that night. Well Wednesday she was excited because we were gonna hang out. She asked me to come over once I got off work. Everything was going great kissed her when I saw her ,told each other I love you, just having a good time like we use too. Then things started going downhill somewhat. I kissed her again and it seemed like she was being a little resistant and she was like I love you but stop being so clingy I didn't think two kisses was being clingy. Then she was being really flirty with me and I tapped her on the ass and she god mad at me. She's like dont do that were not dating. This kind of hurt me because a guy she knew for only a couple weeks can have sex with her but a guy she's been with the last two years can't even tap her ass. So everything was still going fairly well and then we went back to her house and she was suppose to come over my place that night but she said she wasn't ready for it and that we should go our seperate ways for the night. I kissed her told her I had fun today, and that I loved her. She responded with I know you do I love you too. I haven't heard from her since. I feel like I came on too strong and just need to back off. It's like I'm giving this 100% while im only getting 50% back from her. I feel my best bet is to leave her alone and let her chase me because obviously what I am doing now isn't making things better. Also I noticed when I was in her room she still had the photos of me and her above her bed, all the stuffed animals, cards, roses etc that I have given her all still out in her room almost as if we never broke up idk if I should take this as a positive sign.
monkeyshaman Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I don;t honestly think you are ok with the random sex act considering how you brought it up later, and rightly so, I wouldnt be. That is not something that mature individuals do. Just saying. Not bashing her but that would make me think a little bit whether or not I'd want to get back with someone who deals with issues this way. That being said, I was in a similar situation as you a bit ago and I just tried my best to keep my distance. You haven't given her the chance to miss or need you enough. Jumping right back into it will spell disaster. Let the true feelings come through and decide not the "i'm used to you so I miss you". Dont give it 100 until she says shes in 100 and if she says she wants to come back then make sure she actually is coming back not just wanting to. But you have the right mind I think, back off a bunch go hang out with buddies so ur not thinking so much about her and tempted to call and whatnot. She sounds like shes having some second thoughts so let her figure her own stuff out and you do some growing/having fun on your own and your answer will come one way or another. Best wished my friend.
leoc1973 Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 When you guys are together what do you talk about? are you constantly hounding her about things like getting back together or does she like someone else or anything to do with the guy she slept with? I think younger women feel very cornered when they are overly questioned. Try playing a little hard to get with her she will probably pursue you. I remember when I was younger I went through kinda the same thing and soon as I started dating other women she went out of her mind trying to get me back. I never gave her another chance though I recently seen her at a class reunion and she tried sleeping with me even tho she has a husband who is a great guy and 3 kids. Some girls don't know what loyalty is so this one might be broken!
Author beachwrangler Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 When we hang out we keep things light and fun. We talk about how we've been, work, sports, music etc. I don't bring up the past relationship at all because there's no point in dwelling over whats done and gone. As for the guy she slept with she told me she didn't like him like that and doesn't mention other guys.
TheDovic Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 With the signals she was giving you it very much looked like you were an item again so I'm not so sure you came on too strong. She's obviously very confused, so you're right, back off a bit and let her chase you!
Author beachwrangler Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 Exactly my thoughts. She made me feel like we were an item again so it's why I acted the way I did. I'm just gonna focus on me and take care of myself because that's all I am in control of. Have a huge interview early next week for a great job opportunity, my boy's birthday is tonight gonna hit up the bars, maybe spoil myself to some new threads and haircut this weekend and hit the gym. Going to better myself either for a second chance with her or for the next girl that comes into my life. She made the decision that she was willing to lose me so now its time to let her see what life without me is like. Regardless of what happens I will make it.
Author beachwrangler Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 So it didnt take long for her to come to me. She just showed up at my house about 20 minutes ago. She came in and asked if I wanted to get dinner with her. I said yeah that would be fine. She asked where I wanted to go. I kept recommending places and with each place I named she said no. I then asked if there was anywhere she was in the mood for. The whole time I was asking she looked completely miserable and depressed. She then looked at me and said she was leaving. I said I thought you wanted to do dinner and she said she had changed her mind. I responded with alright. She then walked away and drove off. I can't handle this girl. Idk why she would even bother driving 30 mins to my house just to leave 5 mins later.
EgoJoe Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 From what I call reading your posts you two have a volatile history. If you really want her back. Take more charge. You should have said, well you don't seem to have a good idea of what you want so lets go here. Also she might be miserable due to rejection from elsewhere. I think more NC is in order.
Author beachwrangler Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 So she just texted me saying she was sorry that everything going on right now was too much. That her room should be filled with boxes and that we should be having a good night together getting ready to move out and start our lives together. She said it was just too much for her to handle right now. We were suppose to be getting our own place tomorrow but obviously were not anymore bc of the break up. I'm just gonna give her the space she needs not much else I can do.
TheDovic Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 She's really messing you about dude. I think giving her space will help you to heal, plus it might make her realise what she has with you! Hope it works out!
Author beachwrangler Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 So she's still messing with my head it seems or atleast attempting too but I chose to ignore her texts. Yesterday she kept saying we should've woken up together this morning, had breakfast and cuddled and watched the football game together. Then later in the day said she was SO heartbroken that we were not living together. I've heard from others that her facebook page is still covered with our pictures, doesn't have the fact that she's single on her home page, and her room is still filled with pictures of us, dead flowers I had given her, stuffed animals, jewelry, cards etc. Also I got an email from the apartment complex saying she had pushed the move in date back to January 8th for us to move in and NO we haven't signed the least yet lol. I don't know what her intentions are but I am sticking to NC until I get some REAL EFFORT and FIGHT from her. I know I'm a great guy and I'm tired of not being appreciated by her.
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