LDR Boyfriend wont reveal certain friends he is in a relationship

[ely985]

Hello,

Sorry for my English,

I'm in a LDR for six months now, I met a guy from a Christian online dating website. He visited me 4 times and I have once. The problem I have he won't tell his social friends he is dating me. He said he told his closest friends about our relationship. But friends he hangs around in the weekends he won't say anything to them. He said he is very reserved, and things he cares the most he won't reveal them. He said I don't understand him. But I feel sad, I'm the opposite, I'm so happy I tell my friends and family of him. I'm not afraid to say I'm dating him.

We have been in a fight since last Friday. I called him and he texted me back, he was in a restaurant eating dinner with a gal friend. I got so angry because he did not answer me, I knew he did not wanted his friend to know we are dating. He said she is a gossiper, its rude to pick up the phone during dinner, she does not say who calls her, he was not feeling well ect making excuses. I wanted to break up with him, he does not understand me.

Today we got into another fight. In Facebook, he wrote this beautiful girl in the political arena he wishes her good luck and she is pretty, and he had a big photo of her in his wall. He has no photos of me in FB, nor he has never comment me. He said that the relationship with me is very personal and he won't go in public about it. I got so mad, and he replies I'm sorry to hear that. I threaten him I would break up with him, and he ended up deleting his FB page. Plus he had photos and comments of a girl he wanted to date, I told him he went public with that girl, his response is those photos were before he wanted to date her. It got me more mad because he comes up with justifications in everything. And he ends up feeling hurt, and I end up apologizing.

I don't know what to do with this guy, he convinces me so fast, and I fall for him again. He is 35, I'm 25. He is very smart guy, he has 2 doctorate degrees. I just think he is very stubborn and he wants everything his way without caring of me, he is not humble. He say he is very different from other guys, he is very conservative moral and value wise (something I'm looking for a potential mate). Help, I don't know what to do, He is visiting me this weekend.

[TokyoG33kyGal]

this is quite tricky, I actually know the feeling of being in a "hidden" relationship but sometimes it makes sense.

 

online dating or meeting someone online still has stigma. When I was on the first few months of my LDR, I chose to not tell some of my friends that I met somebody online. most of them are not fans of LDR and they've seen how I got hurt in my last relationship.

 

But if it is something that you really want and cannot compromise, be firm about it and stick to your words. He will not see the importance of it if you keep coming back to him even though you are hurting and not comfortable with your situation. talk to him about your issues.

[Lucky_One]

I would draw a line in the sand. He is a mature, adult male, and there is zero shame in having a GF. If he is hiding you, then my first thought would be that he is hiding you because he has another relationship where he is.

 

His friends should be your friends, if you are in a committed relationship.

 

I am pretty impressed with his dual doctorates by the age of 35. A local chemistry professor was recently fired after it was disclosed that his "university" was for online coursework only and had all of its credentials stripped.

[Rett]

He say he is very different from other guys, he is very conservative moral and value wise (something I'm looking for a potential mate)

You said he is going out with you and he hangs a picture of another girl on his wall?

 

 

That my dear, is not called "conservative". That's called "player".

 

Stay around him if you want more pain in your life.