Thieves Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Title says it all. Basically, at what age or time did you actually become comfortable with yourself and with the opposite sex? When did you really start being comfortable in the dating game, such as approaching women/men? And when did you know what you really wanted in a partner? Even though I'm only in my early 20's, I've learned a lot from the situation that first brought me here to the boards. Just from lurking around, it seems like all of the people I talk to who are a bit older than me feel a lot more content in their skin than say, people my own age when it comes to dating. And I know I'm still young, but it's still my twenties... If anything, I'm asking this to see if I can estimate how much more learning I have to do about dating. I certainly feel a lot more comfortable with myself than I did a few years ago, but I'm wondering if I might be a late bloomer.
GoodOnPaper Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Even though I'm only in my early 20's, I've learned a lot from the situation that first brought me here to the boards. Just from lurking around, it seems like all of the people I talk to who are a bit older than me feel a lot more content in their skin than say, people my own age when it comes to dating. And I know I'm still young, but it's still my twenties... I believe that personal growth is function of experience x time. Those with a lot of experience don't need as much time. Those that gain little experience need more time. I'm in the latter category and if you are, don't let the frustration get the best of you. Even if it takes a long time, it's worth it to figure out who you are and what you really want BEFORE you commit to a permanent relationship.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 It hasn't happened yet, and I'm almost 29.
thatone Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 it's perfectly normal that older people feel more comfortable with themselves, and therefore, more comfortable with the opposite sex. they're not struggling as much financially, socially, etc. experience translates into confidence. as for me, i guess 30-31. i'm 35 in a couple months.
FitChick Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 It wasn't until I was in my mid-40s when I eliminated most of my negative core beliefs that had been running and ruining my life. Until that point I would seldom date, never encouraged men, only attracted and was attracted to men who were emotionally or legally unavailable. Men didn't treat me very well. I was never happy in relationships but constantly anxious and depressed. I was like a lot of the guys and gals on this website! I joined the women's chorus singing All Men Are Jerks. I was tempted to take pharmaceuticals but thank god I didn't. One morning, I saw Morty Lefkoe on TV, the Today Show, and what he said rang true so I contacted him. The rest is history (or is it herstory?)! How did it affect my dating life? I started attracting and being attracted to kind, generous, successful men who treated me wonderfully. Men I met online flew in from overseas to meet me or paid for my hotel, airfare and all expenses to meet them. I had a couple of marriage proposals and actually got engaged. I heard "I love you" for the first time in my life. You are your own worst enemy and you are the only person you can control.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 31, after a lot of hard work to get over LTR where I got tubby, ending cigarettes, finally learning my dressing foibles and discovering capacities of my brain I had previously over-looked.
Imageiko Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I don't think it's relevant to age at all. I think it has to do with experience and how much effort you put into yourself and your social life.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 It wasn't until I was in my mid-40s when I eliminated most of my negative core beliefs that had been running and ruining my life. Until that point I would seldom date, never encouraged men, only attracted and was attracted to men who were emotionally or legally unavailable. Men didn't treat me very well. I was never happy in relationships but constantly anxious and depressed. I was like a lot of the guys and gals on this website! I joined the women's chorus singing All Men Are Jerks. I was tempted to take pharmaceuticals but thank god I didn't. One morning, I saw Morty Lefkoe on TV, the Today Show, and what he said rang true so I contacted him. The rest is history (or is it herstory?)! How did it affect my dating life? I started attracting and being attracted to kind, generous, successful men who treated me wonderfully. Men I met online flew in from overseas to meet me or paid for my hotel, airfare and all expenses to meet them. I had a couple of marriage proposals and actually got engaged. I heard "I love you" for the first time in my life. You are your own worst enemy and you are the only person you can control. This is very enlightening. Thank you!
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